Did you fall in love with your affair partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were friends for a couple of yrs and in love before the affair started.

Are you still or has the affair ended? It seems like the average is 2 years before petering out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were friends for a couple of yrs and in love before the affair started.

Are you still or has the affair ended? It seems like the average is 2 years before petering out.

I’m not sure it’s petering out so much as running into structural issues like someone wants more or someone moves or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were friends for a couple of yrs and in love before the affair started.

Are you still or has the affair ended? It seems like the average is 2 years before petering out.

Affair lasted 5 yrs and we ended because I was moving and we didn’t want a long distance affair. We are still friends and see each other when we are in the same area. We are both still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were friends for a couple of yrs and in love before the affair started.

Are you still or has the affair ended? It seems like the average is 2 years before petering out.

I’m not sure it’s petering out so much as running into structural issues like someone wants more or someone moves or something.

And frequency. There are affairs where they only get together once a month or less and some that are hot and heavy and work together.

[Anonymous]

I’d love to hear from those who had kids and left for their AP . Did it go smoothly ? Do you have 50/50 time with the kids with your ex ?

[Anonymous]

Well, my ex left for his affair partner. Both had kids. I can tell you that his parents have never really accepted the AP, and are civil and polite with her but certainly not close. Our older son did the math and figured out that they were having an affair before we were divorced, and he barely speaks to his father at all. He’s also suffered from poor grades and substance abuse. But yeah, my ex and his AP seem happy, and that’s all that matters, right?

[Anonymous]

Yes, and I ended up marrying her. Happily married 10 years, two kids, and raising the two kids from my prior marriage as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course I fell in love with her. I'm not a monster.

Not a monster, just someone immensely selfish with loyalty and commitment problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my ex left for his affair partner. Both had kids. I can tell you that his parents have never really accepted the AP, and are civil and polite with her but certainly not close. Our older son did the math and figured out that they were having an affair before we were divorced, and he barely speaks to his father at all. He’s also suffered from poor grades and substance abuse. But yeah, my ex and his AP seem happy, and that’s all that matters, right?

I empathize with the PP, and this post is a good illustration of the selfishness that lies beneath most affairs, and the long-term damage that selfishness does to innocent bystanders like kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my ex left for his affair partner. Both had kids. I can tell you that his parents have never really accepted the AP, and are civil and polite with her but certainly not close. Our older son did the math and figured out that they were having an affair before we were divorced, and he barely speaks to his father at all. He’s also suffered from poor grades and substance abuse. But yeah, my ex and his AP seem happy, and that’s all that matters, right?

I empathize with the PP, and this post is a good illustration of the selfishness that lies beneath most affairs, and the long-term damage that selfishness does to innocent bystanders like kids.

Do you feel the same way about divorce where there is no AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I fell in love with her. I'm not a monster.

Not a monster, just someone immensely selfish with loyalty and commitment problems.

Plenty of men wait until their wife has demonstrated that she is disloyal, not committed to him, and downright abusive before they go looking for another woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my ex left for his affair partner. Both had kids. I can tell you that his parents have never really accepted the AP, and are civil and polite with her but certainly not close. Our older son did the math and figured out that they were having an affair before we were divorced, and he barely speaks to his father at all. He’s also suffered from poor grades and substance abuse. But yeah, my ex and his AP seem happy, and that’s all that matters, right?

You’re disgusting for blaming your child’s bad grades and drug use on your ex. Take some responsibility as an equal co parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my ex left for his affair partner. Both had kids. I can tell you that his parents have never really accepted the AP, and are civil and polite with her but certainly not close. Our older son did the math and figured out that they were having an affair before we were divorced, and he barely speaks to his father at all. He’s also suffered from poor grades and substance abuse. But yeah, my ex and his AP seem happy, and that’s all that matters, right?

You’re disgusting for blaming your child’s bad grades and drug use on your ex. Take some responsibility as an equal co parent.

If anything the bad grades and drug use are probably more a reflection of the resentment and disdain and bad mouthing you did about your ex that really screwed the kid up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I fell in love with her. I'm not a monster.

Not a monster, just someone immensely selfish with loyalty and commitment problems.

Plenty of men wait until their wife has demonstrated that she is disloyal, not committed to him, and downright abusive before they go looking for another woman.

Umm then why can’t they get divorced before looking for a new woman? I don’t understand this argument… you make a vow to your spouse, even if they turn out not to be the best person, the minimum is to leave them before you start interviewing for their replacement.