Did you fall in love with your affair partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course I fell in love with her. I'm not a monster.

Ha! Written like a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It trumped it. We are now divorced.

+1

[Anonymous]

We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

[Anonymous]

I've known four people over the years who all left their spouses for their AP. This of course means nothing, predicts nothing, etc. but I post only to say that not all people who are engaged in affairs do it strictly for the sex.

[Anonymous]

I thought so in the moment, but once it all came to light and I saw the situation for what it was, I'm disgusted with AP and that point in my life.

[Anonymous]

What all came to light ? I am curious .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What all came to light ? I am curious .

They mean they felt sorry when they got caught and now get to blame shift and feel “disgust” for AP instead of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

Asking seriously: Do you ever find yourself thinking, if he would cheat on his vows with her, would he cheat on his vows with me? (Love or not, there were vows between them, vows which you take seriously enough to have exchanged with him now too.) If he thought he loved her when they married, or he once loved her and says he "fell out of love," could that repeat with me?

Not asking with snark, PP. Genuinely wondering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've known four people over the years who all left their spouses for their AP. This of course means nothing, predicts nothing, etc. but I post only to say that not all people who are engaged in affairs do it strictly for the sex.

How did those couples work out? How many married and are still married, how many broke up later, in how many was there subsequent cheating with a new AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

Asking seriously: Do you ever find yourself thinking, if he would cheat on his vows with her, would he cheat on his vows with me? (Love or not, there were vows between them, vows which you take seriously enough to have exchanged with him now too.) If he thought he loved her when they married, or he once loved her and says he "fell out of love," could that repeat with me?

Not asking with snark, PP. Genuinely wondering.

He said he never really loved her in the first place. They have a lot in common and she’s great on paper. He never was deeply in love with her. He said it’s so much different between us. People make mistakes and marry the wrong people. They should be able to move on. He just happen to meet me when he was still married to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

Asking seriously: Do you ever find yourself thinking, if he would cheat on his vows with her, would he cheat on his vows with me? (Love or not, there were vows between them, vows which you take seriously enough to have exchanged with him now too.) If he thought he loved her when they married, or he once loved her and says he "fell out of love," could that repeat with me?

Not asking with snark, PP. Genuinely wondering.

He said he never really loved her in the first place. They have a lot in common and she’s great on paper. He never was deeply in love with her. He said it’s so much different between us. People make mistakes and marry the wrong people. They should be able to move on. He just happen to meet me when he was still married to her.

Lol. And you believed him? Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both fell in love. He left his wife and we are married.

Asking seriously: Do you ever find yourself thinking, if he would cheat on his vows with her, would he cheat on his vows with me? (Love or not, there were vows between them, vows which you take seriously enough to have exchanged with him now too.) If he thought he loved her when they married, or he once loved her and says he "fell out of love," could that repeat with me?

Not asking with snark, PP. Genuinely wondering.

He said he never really loved her in the first place. They have a lot in common and she’s great on paper. He never was deeply in love with her. He said it’s so much different between us. People make mistakes and marry the wrong people. They should be able to move on. He just happen to meet me when he was still married to her.

How long have you been married?

[Anonymous]

No; never. I was very fond of him and still am but these feelings were on an entirely parallel track with my family life.

[Anonymous]

No; never. I was very fond of him and still am but these feelings were on an entirely parallel track with my family life.

Did you ever tell your DH you loved him right after (or right before) being with your AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought so in the moment, but once it all came to light and I saw the situation for what it was, I'm disgusted with AP and that point in my life.

I sure hope you are disgusted with yourself as well.