DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I would let him do it, but not without a “lessons learned” family meeting re: his college application season. His results are worse than expected. Expected would be in at all likelies and in at some matches.
His results suggest to me that your family misclassified the colleges. You know you need to take acceptance rates into account, not just his stats? Your family needs to take a clear-eyed look at what happened, so he has a realistic plan for his next attempt. |
Anonymous
| As a compromise, have him defer the unwanted school for a year while he does the farm work. Yes, you might lose the deposit if he decides to apply and go elsewhere, but he may warm up to the idea of the school during the year, and it will still be an option if he doesn’t get around to doing more apps. |
Anonymous
It's only a terrible plan if it limits him from applying elsewhere. As other posters have stated, this kid might not truly understand why he is drawn to take a gap year and might not improve his acceptances if he does take the gap year and reapply. If he's allowed to defer at least he has that in his back pocket and who knows what he'll think a year from now. These kids change and mature SO much in these few short years and maybe after 6 months on a farm and a new round of applications his current acceptance will look different to him. |
Anonymous
OP, this is strong advice. If he wants to do a gap year, then he needs to defer from his only admission as there are NO guarantees that next year's. admits, if any, will be better for him. I would also remind him, if he is not aware already, that roughly 30% of college students transfer. Even before this upside down world of college admissions over the last three cycles, I know kids who did not get into reaches, etc, buckled down for first year at where they were accepted, and transferred schools for start of sophomore year. Our daughter mulled a gap year and she had gotten into her ED. We were initially hesitant, then sort of open to it. She was NOWHERE near as organized as your son is here about it. We did discuss how she would enter a year older and wiser than other freshman and that might be a challenge. In the end, she went to accepted students' day and came home with "I'm doing it" attitude and has been really happy. If your son has gone to accepted students and he is still set on a gap year, that may be your answer. While I agree that it would have been better if your son had discussed with you, I am super impressed at his approach. As you probably know, farm work is no joke and those early AM winter chores are going to be pretty, pretty hard. But he will come out of that year truly knowing what manual labor is as well as how hard it is to run a family farm and that may be the best impulse to enter college fall 2024. OP, good luck to your DS and family. |
Anonymous
You would have to look at the terms of the deferral agreement for the particular school. Ultimately at any school, you'd just lose your deposit, but they wouldn't know that you were applying elsewhere. |
Anonymous
Sometimes kids get worse results than expected. My kid was wailtlisted at every likely/match, but got into one high reach and all their safeties. It happens. |
Anonymous
OP: Do NOT defer prior to reading the deferral agreement ! Some colleges prevent applying to other schools if the student has elected to defer for a year. Psychologically, deferring may be the worst course of action if one defers acceptance to a school that he does not want to attend. |
Anonymous
|
I would highly encourage you to connect with a private college counselor and invest in an hour or two to unpack the plan. They will be able to look at the schools, profile, experiences and help elevate the situation.
Personally - I think it was really brave of him to do this and come to the table with an option. |
Anonymous
This. You need to let him make his own decisions here, even if they are unwise. |
Anonymous
| Does he realize that he will now be entering application season again and has to do all their essays again soon? I’d suggest transferring if he doesn’t like the school he got into but that’s me. I think it’s a risky plan. |
Anonymous
“Got into all their safeties” - that’s the key. Sounds like this kid did not have safeties, and was counting on getting into “likelies/matches”. Needs a new strategy next round. |
Anonymous
By signing the deferral agreement, the student may be contracting to not apply to any other schools. And there could be consequences at any new school if the terms of a deferral agreement are violated. |
Anonymous
|
Totally disagree with those who say working on the farm for a year will make applying to college more difficult. Colleges will understand the maturity this kind of work builds and will value that. He will do better with admissions after a year on the farm, and will have had a chance to clear his head and figure out exactly what he wants.
Those who say he might regret it when he realizes his friends are getting a head start may be right, but they may not. I took a gap year that turned into three, and three decades later I still think it was one of the best decisions I ever made. My opinion is that we should always go with what motivates us most, and if working for a year on the farm and getting to know the grandparents well and helping them stay afloat is what motivates DS, I'd recommend letting him do it. If he regrets it later for whatever reason, it was his decision, not yours, and he will learn from it. I'm actually kind of excited for him, even though I don't even know him. |
Anonymous
|
I only have a Junior, but our plan is if it's some place he doesn't love--work hard and transfer after the first year.
Way back when I went to college, transfers were extremely rare. Now- I know more kids that transfer and finish somewhere else in my neighborhood than I do kids that stayed at the same college all 4 years. Two of my 3 nephews transferred after their Sophomore year and are thriving now post-grad. They both ended up at a better fit. |
Anonymous
I think this is alarmism. A deferral is not a blood oath. |