Are you an "Almond Mom"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

I agree with this. >70% of adults are overweight. Junk food is everywhere in pretty much unlimited qualities. Even if your kids aren’t overweight, they are highly likely to be as adults. The snacks, fast food, processed food are everywhere and pushed onto us from every angle. We need to be teaching our kids to eat mostly heathy foods, and exercise discipline and moderation if eating something that has little nutritional value and is essential junk food. No one needs multiple servings of desserts at a sitting or several slices of pizza, etc. It’s ok to tell your child they may have 1 cookie, not 3.

I never told my kids they could only have one cookie (that would have been hypocritical), but this approach isn’t likely to cause baggage. The problem is being shamey about weight (your own, your child’s, anyone’s weight), saying things like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” limiting kids to no cookies even at birthday parties or something, or just generally modeling orthorexia. Look at the comments on this thread; our baggage didn’t come from not being allowed to binge on cookies.

[Anonymous]

I was raised by an almond mom with so much food and fat shaming (and I wasn't fat, fwiw), which left me with lifelong disordered eating. But for my son I have kept my damn mouth shut, even when he was very plump as a tween, and done my best to model normal, healthy eating, with some sweets/junk food. No food is bad or demonized, but we talk about protein, veggies/fruits, and carbs as a balance, since he is an athlete. It's one of the hardest things I've done.

[Anonymous]

No. My mother was sort of an almond type and I did wind up with an eating disorder.

A friend of mine adopted an ill baby from Ethiopia and I went to visit them in the hospital. The baby was alarmingly thin (she was starving). It really helped me to think of her when my babies were born and got baby fat rolls. I was able to see "fat" as healthy.

We talk more about being active and having energy and eating foods for immunity or stuff like that, than about eating foods that fill you up or add pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

Eating disorders can be about an over control on what you eat and how much. They can also be found in people who over eat, for various reasons.

There is no amount of food that is perfect for everyone. There is no body that is perfect for everyone. Part of learning healthy eating is also learning that deciding you will NEVER weigh above 120lbs is not compatible with a healthy eating mindset. Lots of people can eat perfectly healthy, be strong and nimble and active AND fat.

Food is fuel. But it is also pleasure and emotion and celebration. Our job is to accept each other on the premise that all bodies are good bodies. Take the shame out of it. Bodies just ARE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

Eating disorders can be about an over control on what you eat and how much. They can also be found in people who over eat, for various reasons.

There is no amount of food that is perfect for everyone. There is no body that is perfect for everyone. Part of learning healthy eating is also learning that deciding you will NEVER weigh above 120lbs is not compatible with a healthy eating mindset. Lots of people can eat perfectly healthy, be strong and nimble and active AND fat.

Food is fuel. But it is also pleasure and emotion and celebration. Our job is to accept each other on the premise that all bodies are good bodies. Take the shame out of it. Bodies just ARE.

Yes - bodies ARE, and their worth and value are not dependent upon their specifics. That said, I think there is a disempowering component (perhaps extreme?) of some of the "anti-diet culture" movement that discounts the effect of weight on how we feel and our bodies move and, yes, even look, and our own agency in making decisions about are bodies. I have read and listened to some public "anti-diet culture" people who claim grown people can't lose weight sustainably, and there seems to be a moral judgment about even wanting to lose weight.

What about deciding that one wants their body to be smaller / stronger / etc? Lift more weights / hike more miles? Be able to get up off of the floor? (and coming from a family of disordered eaters who are overweight to obese, I know very few people personally who are strong and nimble and active AND fat. I also see the thinner people in my family who have not strength trained / worked on flexibility / etc. also have problems. So it is not just a weight thing.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am definitely someone with a messed up relationship food and I am perpetually on a diet. I also have no desire to stop dieting and just accepting my body as it is. The extra weight I carry makes me miserable. I think it is great that the younger generation is rejecting "diet culture".

I am also very thankful I don't have daughters because I think boy are more protected from diet culture and I am less likely to screw up my sons with diet stuff than if I had daughters.

Honey, it's not a diet if it's all the time. It's an eating disorder.

and yet i am still fat

You should listen to the podcast Maintenance Phase. Disordered eating is incredibly common among overweight people.

Love this podcast. It’s so funny and informative at the same time.

Thanks to you both, listening now! I'm on Snackwell's Cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

Eating disorders can be about an over control on what you eat and how much. They can also be found in people who over eat, for various reasons.

There is no amount of food that is perfect for everyone. There is no body that is perfect for everyone. Part of learning healthy eating is also learning that deciding you will NEVER weigh above 120lbs is not compatible with a healthy eating mindset. Lots of people can eat perfectly healthy, be strong and nimble and active AND fat.

Food is fuel. But it is also pleasure and emotion and celebration. Our job is to accept each other on the premise that all bodies are good bodies. Take the shame out of it. Bodies just ARE.

Yes - bodies ARE, and their worth and value are not dependent upon their specifics. That said, I think there is a disempowering component (perhaps extreme?) of some of the "anti-diet culture" movement that discounts the effect of weight on how we feel and our bodies move and, yes, even look, and our own agency in making decisions about are bodies. I have read and listened to some public "anti-diet culture" people who claim grown people can't lose weight sustainably, and there seems to be a moral judgment about even wanting to lose weight.

What about deciding that one wants their body to be smaller / stronger / etc? Lift more weights / hike more miles? Be able to get up off of the floor? (and coming from a family of disordered eaters who are overweight to obese, I know very few people personally who are strong and nimble and active AND fat. I also see the thinner people in my family who have not strength trained / worked on flexibility / etc. also have problems. So it is not just a weight thing.)

I should add - yes, I know that the "diet" industry is multi-million/billion ... but so is the processed food / big ag business. There is a lot of money being made by people overeating ... including medicine and the health industrial complex ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

I agree with this. >70% of adults are overweight. Junk food is everywhere in pretty much unlimited qualities. Even if your kids aren’t overweight, they are highly likely to be as adults. The snacks, fast food, processed food are everywhere and pushed onto us from every angle. We need to be teaching our kids to eat mostly heathy foods, and exercise discipline and moderation if eating something that has little nutritional value and is essential junk food. No one needs multiple servings of desserts at a sitting or several slices of pizza, etc. It’s ok to tell your child they may have 1 cookie, not 3.

so, yes, almond mom

[Anonymous]

If I was going to make the distinction, I'd say:
Healthy eating = discussing what types of food/nutrients we should eat
Almond/diet Mom = discussing how much we should eat (and/or what we should NOT eat)

For 90% of kids, if you provide a lot of healthy food and make sure they are having balanced meals before any snacks/treats, they will self-regulate pretty well in terms of intake. I really don't think there has to be any discussion about the amounts of food, the size of their portions, etc. We do have dessert and a bit of junk around. But once they have a healthy meal or snack, they can't really get through that much. And if my kid is truly getting overweight on e.g. avocados, yogurt, apples and sandwiches (possible but unlikely), then so be it...

[Anonymous]

We eat a relatively clean diet in our household, but the kids like goldfish and cookies. So their lunches have some of that but they also have protein and fruit in there.

Dinners are typically-- rice/pasta, salad/veggies, protein. We do not buy junk cereals for breakfast. The kids can have raisin bran or oatmeal, or whole wheat toast with creamcheese/nutella....always a side of fruit.

They can have dessert after dinner-- usually opt for ice cream.

My hard and steadfast rule-- just don't eat when you are full. I don't force them to finish their plate.

[Anonymous]

No. I eat when I am hungry and not when I am not and our kids do the same.

I also don't do anything to change or control the size or shape of my body (and it hasn't changed in adulthood other than in typical ways associated with aging).

I have never, and will never, talk smack about my own or anyone else's body. Not just around my kids. Anywhere.

In our house, we talk about added sugar in terms of the fact that it's an added, not central, part of a diet that is healthy for humans.

It's very freeing. Some of what y'all are pushing sounds exhausting and not productive.

[Anonymous]

Haha I've never heard of the term but that's my mom 100%. She will literally have a handful of almonds as a snack. If you go to lunch with her at noon, she will be shocked and appalled that you want to eat dinner again at 6 or 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wtf is an almond mom? Does she lactate almond milk?

Yolanda Hadid told her daughters to just chew a few almonds really really well when they were hungry. From that came Almond Mom. I can't believe I know this...what a waste of brain cells!

And it became a theme on tiktok for awhile. Where GenZ was posting about what it's like living with their "Almond Moms". Meaning, no food in the house, scarce offerings for snacks, and lots of body shaming. Sometimes it was tongue in cheek, sometimes it was trauma dumping.

Wait, don’t confuse an Ingredient Mom with Almond Mom. Ingredient Mom is fine with snacks - you just need to make yourself a quesadilla if you’re hungry.

[Anonymous]

For all the people saying some version of “anti-diet culture is unhealthy!”

1) There is no diet that has been proven to reliably remove and maintain more than 10% of your body weight.

2) The BMI is a completely unscientific made-up number.

3) All the evidence that being “fat” is bad for your health is either correlational, or exaggerated.

So if we don’t know that being fat is necessarily bad for you, AND we don’t know how to make you thin without surgery or medications that both have serious side effects (and oh-by-the-way typically don’t work long-term anyway), then yes. ANY approach to food that emphasizes BMI or weight as a primary goal is bad. Because we absolutely know that yo-yo dieting and eating disorders are VERY bad for your health.


So accepting that your body can be healthy at any size and then focusing on scientifically meaningful definitions of health such as resting heart rate, blood pressure, flexibility, endurance and strength, etc. as the focus of your goals for your body is healthy. Deciding that you can only be “healthy” at X weight and then ruining your actual health because you need to lose weight more than you need to meet any of those other benchmarks is bad for you, and carrying that attitude into the world and treating people like you can see their health and worthiness in their external body is bad for the world.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm definitely not. I'm very thin, though, so a lot of people assume I'm like that if I say even the mildest thing in terms of restricting certain foods. Like my kid's school gives them cupcakes every Friday for good behavior. I am not against cupcakes, but don't love the fact that they get them every week or the fact that it's a reward (not into food punishments or rewards, food should be separate). But when I raised this with the PTA, several people looked at me and made comments that indicated that they think I'm starting myself and my kid. If they know what an almond mom is, some of them are definitely calling me that behind my back.

I'm just naturally thin. I eat a lot of baked goods. I just think store bought cupcakes with pure-sugar frosting EVERY Friday is maybe not sending the healthiest message to kids, especially not when linked with following rules and behavior expectations. Just have a cupcake if you want a cupcake, not as a reward for "being good." That's the disordered behavior but a lot of people don't recognize it because it's so engrained in our behavior.