Are you an "Almond Mom"?

[Anonymous]

I'm a BJ mom. Ben and Jerrys.

[Anonymous]

No.

DD is 14 and a lot of her friends have disordered eating or major body image issues, and she says she’s so glad I never made comments about her weight, never had a scale, never shamed her for eating something, etc. I focused on balanced meals and supported her in the sports she wanted to do.

My mom was sort of the opposite and I look back and really cannot believe she harped on what I ate or how chubby I was. I still remember her weighing herself a lot and looking sadly at her slightly soft stomach in the mirror. I had to do a lot of work to un-learn my body hatred and im saving DD the trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least with an almond mom you know where you stand.

My dad hated that I was fat but also had very little concept of what food is healthy or appropriate portion sizes, loves food himself, cooked a lot of processed meals, and uses food to express love and care. Very confusing messaging.

This was my dad (although he cooked "clean," including lots of vegetables, but ultimately he offered a lot of conflicting messaging). He found it very easy to stay slim himself and just seemed vaguely mad at me for being fat. But still made chicken katsu with calrose rice, ribeye steaks with sourdough bread and butter, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least with an almond mom you know where you stand.

My dad hated that I was fat but also had very little concept of what food is healthy or appropriate portion sizes, loves food himself, cooked a lot of processed meals, and uses food to express love and care. Very confusing messaging.

OMG my life! My mother and father forced me to eat to the point I threw up (I have a small appetite) and then called me a cow when I gained weight.
No surprise I have a terrible relationship with food and my parents.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in an obese family and feel like it messed me up. I'd rather have an almond mom. My mom had whole lists of things she wouldn't do (hiking, pools, beaches, amusement parks, walking around cities). She also told me she was fat because of me (being pregnant with me she meant).

I really don't think Gen Z is more comfortable in their bodies. They'd just rather have their jelly rolls hang out, pretend that they're proud of them and then underneath it all they're anxious and self conscious. I think it's a game. "If my boyfriend really loved me, he'd love my rolls" (which isn't false, but the game is unhealthy)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an obese family and feel like it messed me up. I'd rather have an almond mom. My mom had whole lists of things she wouldn't do (hiking, pools, beaches, amusement parks, walking around cities). She also told me she was fat because of me (being pregnant with me she meant).

I really don't think Gen Z is more comfortable in their bodies. They'd just rather have their jelly rolls hang out, pretend that they're proud of them and then underneath it all they're anxious and self conscious. I think it's a game. "If my boyfriend really loved me, he'd love my rolls" (which isn't false, but the game is unhealthy)

Well, from your comment, I at least agree you were messed up somewhere along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an obese family and feel like it messed me up. I'd rather have an almond mom. My mom had whole lists of things she wouldn't do (hiking, pools, beaches, amusement parks, walking around cities). She also told me she was fat because of me (being pregnant with me she meant).

I really don't think Gen Z is more comfortable in their bodies. They'd just rather have their jelly rolls hang out, pretend that they're proud of them and then underneath it all they're anxious and self conscious. I think it's a game. "If my boyfriend really loved me, he'd love my rolls" (which isn't false, but the game is unhealthy)

Well, from your comment, I at least agree you were messed up somewhere along the way.

Which comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an obese family and feel like it messed me up. I'd rather have an almond mom. My mom had whole lists of things she wouldn't do (hiking, pools, beaches, amusement parks, walking around cities). She also told me she was fat because of me (being pregnant with me she meant).

I really don't think Gen Z is more comfortable in their bodies. They'd just rather have their jelly rolls hang out, pretend that they're proud of them and then underneath it all they're anxious and self conscious. I think it's a game. "If my boyfriend really loved me, he'd love my rolls" (which isn't false, but the game is unhealthy)

Well, from your comment, I at least agree you were messed up somewhere along the way.

Which comment?

Describing someone's body in such a gross and negative way (""jelly rolls hang[ing] out").

[Anonymous]

Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

You can just post "yes" love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

I don't know if you're being obtuse on purpose or what. There is a big difference between teaching your kids healthy eating and an almond mom

[Anonymous]

This loomed large in the households of my white friends. Their moms were so hard on them. Most didn't complain about it but would point it out as an annoying *eye rolling* aspect of their mom's personality. The same women became just as bad when they had kids but frame it with the righteousness of healthy eating. They are obsessed with each meal being small and healthy and no wiggle room or lack of criticism for bad foods. They are just as overbearing with their kid's meals (way more with their girls). The difference is their mothers would go on more about being thin without considering nutrition beyond cutting calories, whereas their daughters (as moms) go on about not being an unhealthy weight as the goal and if that's not enough... exercise through extracurricular classes. Each generation will course correct a bit but the issues of focusing on that to an overblown degree are still strong.

[Anonymous]

Not defending almond moms in general, but I think this is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting girls, especially when you’ve grown up in this type of environment. We all have to eat, but enjoyment of food is wrapped up in so much judgment and shame. And it’s not just from our moms. I remember a date in college making comments about how many slices of pizza I ate.

[Anonymous]

I have a very healthy self image. But here’s the reality, teens aren’t getting negative self esteem from their moms. They’re getting it from friends and social media. I’ve done the work to have all sorts of food in my house, no restrictions…food is joy…meals are fun… but even so, you cannot eat everything. You still need some nutrition guidance. My daughters don’t really want to be overweight, and so they need to watch what they eat. That’s just human and true for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is trying to control your food intake immediately a diet or a food disorder? I watch what I eat and teach my kids to do the same because overeating on a regular basis is not healthy and also makes your body less nimble which makes it harder to have physical fun. Are we supposed to just shovel unlimited amounts of food in our mouth at the expense of everything else?

I don't know if you're being obtuse on purpose or what. There is a big difference between teaching your kids healthy eating and an almond mom

NP. Well no one knows what an almond mom is so stop using that term!