How do I tell my daughter's partner to back off?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to ground your daughter and give her a good talking to. Take her to church more and arrange some playdates with her same age peers. Maybe ask her advisor if she's still in college, or check with her boss if she already graduated and has a job. I'm sure they can tell you the names of some of the people she gets along with during lunchtime or at recess. Oops, I don't think they call it recess anymore after they're adults. Well, whatever the adult equivalent of recess is, I'm sure they can tell you whose moms to contact and make arrangements with.

The point is, when she starts meeting some good young men you approve of, under your direction and of course while you chaperone, she'll probably forget about this old dude she's dating. You might want to alert the police about him via the nonemergency number, because everyone knows that late twenty somethings who date early twenty somethings are practically pedophiles.

[Anonymous]

What an odd take. Unless your daughter is exceptionally immature or naive or something I would have absolutely no problem. I was 23 when I met my now DH and he was 31. 10 years later and things are great.

[Anonymous]

I suggest OP to go crazy and act totally like her true self, that 29 year old will totally not want to be in her family LOL

[Anonymous]

I started dating my DH when I was 21, in college and he was 27. Been married 22 years, have 3 kids and a house. It will be ok, OP.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I met my future husband when I was 19, and he was... much older. I won't tell you the exact age difference because you'll go into conniptions, OP. He is more than a decade older than me. Yet here we are, still married, and our first is about to go off to college...

You are very, very narrow-minded and you should absolutely back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll!! My mother encouraged me to date older guys when I was early 20s because she thought they'd have more money and be more ready to commit. I wasted time with guys my own age.

Meh. A lot of times guys around thirty who are dating 23 year olds are doing so because they guys don’t want to commit. Older guys who do want to commit generally don’t target 22 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll!! My mother encouraged me to date older guys when I was early 20s because she thought they'd have more money and be more ready to commit. I wasted time with guys my own age.

+1000

More mature. Not fixated on dating around until the magical age of 30.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP wants to drive their dd out from the family. Go for it OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't tell him anything; who the hell do you think you are? They are two adults who can do what they want. And also, I see nothing wrong with their age difference. They are both young adults.

Yes, my daughter is legally an adult. But what you have to understand is that 23 today is what 14 was when I was growing up.

Cool. That's irrelevant. You raised your daughter. Sit down and trust your work.

Knowing what you know about OP, would *you* trust his or her parenting? I certainly don't.

[Anonymous]

My husband is 7 years older than me. It’s a nice age difference. I seem young to him despite my aging & wrinkles, but it’s not a big enough difference to matter practically.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t interfere OP. Your best move here if you are truly opposed to him (not just based on age but also personality) is to remain close to daughter so she will confide in you. If there really are red flags in this relationship she will then be more likely to share with you and you can lend her some perspective. I really would not overemphasis age as the main issue though, especially because a 6 year difference is not that substantial here. Worst case scenario she puts in 3 years, they break up, she’s still 26 and can move on.

If it makes you feel any better my bil is almost 40 and he is dating a 22 year old. Now that is uhg. Don’t get me started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll!! My mother encouraged me to date older guys when I was early 20s because she thought they'd have more money and be more ready to commit. I wasted time with guys my own age.

+1000

More mature. Not fixated on dating around until the magical age of 30.

"Start dating him at 30 when he's still single, that's proof he's not like those other guys who want to be single until 30." Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to ground your daughter and give her a good talking to. Take her to church more and arrange some playdates with her same age peers. Maybe ask her advisor if she's still in college, or check with her boss if she already graduated and has a job. I'm sure they can tell you the names of some of the people she gets along with during lunchtime or at recess. Oops, I don't think they call it recess anymore after they're adults. Well, whatever the adult equivalent of recess is, I'm sure they can tell you whose moms to contact and make arrangements with.

The point is, when she starts meeting some good young men you approve of, under your direction and of course while you chaperone, she'll probably forget about this old dude she's dating. You might want to alert the police about him via the nonemergency number, because everyone knows that late twenty somethings who date early twenty somethings are practically pedophiles.

That is, I believe, going out on Friday night, getting hammered, and bl0wing her 29 yo boyfriend in the bar's bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

What?! My father was 33 when he and my mother got married and she was 20! This means he was dating her when she was 19--barely of age. I guess you would have had him jailed.

Why don't you tell your daughter's boyfriend to back off and don't be surprised when your daughter tells you where to go?

You are crazy

DP. I would have a problem with a 33 year old dating my 19 year old.

Apparently, her parents did not have a problem and they were married for over 30 years until she died.

[Anonymous]

I would not be happy if my 23 year old daughter was dating a 29 year old, but I wouldn't say anything. I would say something if a 33 year old tried to date my 19 year old daughter. My father and uncles certainly would have put a stop to it when I was 19 by taking the guy behind the woodshed for a good talking to.