S/O to well mannered kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

Clearly you aren’t in an UMC suburban neighborhood

The Starbucks in these types of areas are overrun by upper el and middle schools girls and their moms getting these disgusting concoctions. It’s part of the culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who takes children to Starbucks?

This! Actually, I know many who do and they get 5 yo coffee drinks! I think Starbucks is a waste of money and their drinks and "food" tastes chemically. No way my kids gets anything from there and I certainly wouldn't buy it for someone else's child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Then you’re rude. Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?! How strangely controlling.

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are. If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question. If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead. But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude.

This. When you serve birthday cake, you get what you get. You don’t survey everyone to see what they would like, otherwise you’d be having one red velvet cake, and one carrot cake, and one Brooklyn blackout cake. NO! It’s the same when you offer someone something else. It’s a yes or no response. My god, children are so coddled.

That’s not the same thing. This isn’t a bunch of kids at OP’s house, and she was making hot chocolate and asked which girl wanted some. She was ordering off an app. Why does she need to specify what specific drink the girls ordered? Why does she care if a girl prefers tea to hot chocolate? Just because they are kids doesn’t mean they aren’t people with individual tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are the parents buying 10 year olds Starbucks lattes anyway? Dumb

OP DIDN'T offer the kids lattes- she offered hot chocolate! WTF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Then you’re rude. Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?! How strangely controlling.

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are. If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question. If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead. But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude.

My kid doesn't drink hot chocolate. He would most likely say no to the hot chocolate. When we get a drink he asks for a kids latte. I would say it is rude of the kids says "I don't like hot chocolate, I want a latte." I don't think it is rude to ask to substitute a latte for the hot chocolate. A lot of it depends on the words, phrasing, and tone of things.

It could be that the kid is allergic to chocolate or their family does not allow chocolate. I understand that the OP was doing something kind for the kids but there are a variety of reasons that a kid might ask for a substitution. I don't have a problem with that, unless the tone was awful. Maybe the lesson learned is to ask what kids would like from place X but put boundaries on it, drinks need to be under X amount and we are not ordering food. That is no different then I do for my child when we go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children don’t have opinions on things I give. For example, they wear what I put out, no complaints. They eat what we provide. They don’t ask for things at stores.

So yes, incredibly rude for her to assert herself.

This is so not the values I want to raise my children with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are the parents buying 10 year olds Starbucks lattes anyway? Dumb

OP DIDN'T offer the kids lattes- she offered hot chocolate! WTF!

Well obviously this kid and the kids of probably many posting here are ordering lattes with mom on the regular

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are the parents buying 10 year olds Starbucks lattes anyway? Dumb

OP DIDN'T offer the kids lattes- she offered hot chocolate! WTF!

Kids lattes are not expensive, I think they are pretty similar in price to a hot chocolate and they are caffeinated. A Chai Latte is more expensive and has caffeine, it is my go to drink, so I would offer a smaller size or, if I was worried about caffeine and a 10 year old, I would allow a non-caffeinated latte. Honestly, my objection would be less the substitution and more the caffeine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If something like that happened, then when they told me about it, I’d suggest to them that next time they should just politely take what’s offered, or politely decline.

+1 this is what I would say to my kids too.

[Anonymous]

We stopped at Starbucks on a trip with a friend’s child. My spouse and I got a black coffee To go and I told the kids they can pick something to drink from the cooler; bottled juice, milk, or soda water. The 9 yr old with us asked for a peppermint mocha instead. Sorry, no. I’m ok saying no to friends’ kids just as I do my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: If something like that happened, then when they told me about it, I’d suggest to them that next time they should just politely take what’s offered, or politely decline.

+1 this is what I would say to my kids too.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We stopped at Starbucks on a trip with a friend’s child. My spouse and I got a black coffee To go and I told the kids they can pick something to drink from the cooler; bottled juice, milk, or soda water. The 9 yr old with us asked for a peppermint mocha instead. Sorry, no. I’m ok saying no to friends’ kids just as I do my own.

This is less rude than OP was to those girls because here you, as the “host”, were offering a selection of three things and were direct up front about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Then you’re rude. Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?! How strangely controlling.

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are. If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question. If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead. But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude.

This. When you serve birthday cake, you get what you get. You don’t survey everyone to see what they would like, otherwise you’d be having one red velvet cake, and one carrot cake, and one Brooklyn blackout cake. NO! It’s the same when you offer someone something else. It’s a yes or no response. My god, children are so coddled.

That’s not the same thing. This isn’t a bunch of kids at OP’s house, and she was making hot chocolate and asked which girl wanted some. She was ordering off an app. Why does she need to specify what specific drink the girls ordered? Why does she care if a girl prefers tea to hot chocolate? Just because they are kids doesn’t mean they aren’t people with individual tastes.

No, what doesn’t matter is where or how it is prepared. The OP offered X, it is shockingly rude to ask for Y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: If something like that happened, then when they told me about it, I’d suggest to them that next time they should just politely take what’s offered, or politely decline.

+1 this is what I would say to my kids too.

Same.

I wouldn’t. The last thing I would want is for my daughter to accept a hot chocolate I know she wouldn’t drink (she hates sugary drinks) rather than just politely asking for a bottled water or something else instead. I think parents can have different opinions about what they suggest their children to, and that’s fine, but to label a polite request for a substitution as “rude” to me just isn’t the case in current American society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area.

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing. My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do. I have no problems telling them no.

Then you’re rude. Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?! How strangely controlling.

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are. If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question. If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead. But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude.

This. When you serve birthday cake, you get what you get. You don’t survey everyone to see what they would like, otherwise you’d be having one red velvet cake, and one carrot cake, and one Brooklyn blackout cake. NO! It’s the same when you offer someone something else. It’s a yes or no response. My god, children are so coddled.

That’s not the same thing. This isn’t a bunch of kids at OP’s house, and she was making hot chocolate and asked which girl wanted some. She was ordering off an app. Why does she need to specify what specific drink the girls ordered? Why does she care if a girl prefers tea to hot chocolate? Just because they are kids doesn’t mean they aren’t people with individual tastes.

No, what doesn’t matter is where or how it is prepared. The OP offered X, it is shockingly rude to ask for Y.

No, it’s not.