Carolyn Hax - can someone be a good person if they don't love dogs? WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs. I hate dog "moms".

It’s always white chicks that are over the top dog moms

In my neighborhood, it’s the dads who are the insane dog people. Never leashing their dogs, insisting they’re all so sweet and would never hurt a fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me it is a character flaw, especially if they do not like animals or pets in general. Ask a dog about the character of a person, and you will get your answer.

I feel the same way

I'm the opposite. I consider people like you two who are intolerant of other people with other opinions and preferences to be the ones with a character flaw.

Pot meet kettle

I don't think you know what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

What's arrogant is making vast, sweeping generalizations about everyone on the planet who doesn't like dogs enough for your approval. As if you personally know exactly how countless strangers think and feel.

I wonder how you'd react if someone were as grossly generalizing about you? "People who are obsessed with dogs are slobs, hate people, and are threatened by the idea of having to deal with humans who might not adore them unconditionally and unquestioningly."

Get the idea? My statements about you are exactly as accurate as yours about me. Which is not at all, since we've never met.

But I have a feeling you think it's just fine for you to create stereotypes of others and bray those portrayals as if they're universal truths, because, after all, you love dogs so it's...OK for you stereotype strangers, I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

You're no better than a racist or misogynist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This week's Carolyn Hx Reader question is ridiculous.

Dear Carolyn: Do you think someone can truly be a good person if they don't love dogs? I have a boyfriend whom I could really see a future with — except that he doesn't love dogs. I have such a problem with that.
He has never had a dog, says he has never wanted one, and, when he is around my dog, seems mostly indifferent. On the other hand, he's smart and funny and successful and kind. But it hurts me that he and I will go out and have a wonderful time together, and then we'll return to my house and I just want to hug my dog but my boyfriend is standing back like he thinks my dog is going to bite him or something. It just feels like it is a character red flag not to love dogs, isn't it?
— Must Love Dogs

There can be a lot of reasons that someone isn't a dog person - I didn't grow up with dogs, I'm not comfortable around them, I was bit by a dog once for no reason and the dog's owner refused to believe I didn't do something to provoke her precious little muffin (I literally held out my hadn't for the dog to sniff and dog chomped on me). But that doesn't make me any less lovable. It's fine for the OP to dump her boyfriend because he doesn't love her dog, but to say that he must be a bad person because he doesn't love her dog is narcissistic and if I were the BF, I'd think THAT was a red flag!!

What position was your hand in, OP, if you remember?

I'm sorry this happened and I totally understand how this could make someone a no-dog person, and that also makes me sad for what that person is missing, but I get it. Probably like me and cats; I just think they are dicks.

If your hand was in the wrong position and this was not explained at the time, I am sorry- and that still doesn't make it ok. If your hand was in a non-threatening position and the dog bit you, then that owner is a jerk and I hope their dog didn't go on to bite others. I don't think this is a character flaw in you.

I could be with a non-dog person possibly, as long as they also engaged with my pet, but if they didn't engage I don't think I could do it- like if I had a child and my partner wanted to also ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

You're no better than a racist or misogynist.

Definitely not uptight at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

What's arrogant is making vast, sweeping generalizations about everyone on the planet who doesn't like dogs enough for your approval. As if you personally know exactly how countless strangers think and feel.

I wonder how you'd react if someone were as grossly generalizing about you? "People who are obsessed with dogs are slobs, hate people, and are threatened by the idea of having to deal with humans who might not adore them unconditionally and unquestioningly."

Get the idea? My statements about you are exactly as accurate as yours about me. Which is not at all, since we've never met.

But I have a feeling you think it's just fine for you to create stereotypes of others and bray those portrayals as if they're universal truths, because, after all, you love dogs so it's...OK for you stereotype strangers, I guess?

Yup
You're totally not uptight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This week's Carolyn Hx Reader question is ridiculous.

Dear Carolyn: Do you think someone can truly be a good person if they don't love dogs? I have a boyfriend whom I could really see a future with — except that he doesn't love dogs. I have such a problem with that.
He has never had a dog, says he has never wanted one, and, when he is around my dog, seems mostly indifferent. On the other hand, he's smart and funny and successful and kind. But it hurts me that he and I will go out and have a wonderful time together, and then we'll return to my house and I just want to hug my dog but my boyfriend is standing back like he thinks my dog is going to bite him or something. It just feels like it is a character red flag not to love dogs, isn't it?
— Must Love Dogs

There can be a lot of reasons that someone isn't a dog person - I didn't grow up with dogs, I'm not comfortable around them, I was bit by a dog once for no reason and the dog's owner refused to believe I didn't do something to provoke her precious little muffin (I literally held out my hadn't for the dog to sniff and dog chomped on me). But that doesn't make me any less lovable. It's fine for the OP to dump her boyfriend because he doesn't love her dog, but to say that he must be a bad person because he doesn't love her dog is narcissistic and if I were the BF, I'd think THAT was a red flag!!

What position was your hand in, OP, if you remember?

I'm sorry this happened and I totally understand how this could make someone a no-dog person, and that also makes me sad for what that person is missing, but I get it. Probably like me and cats; I just think they are dicks.

If your hand was in the wrong position and this was not explained at the time, I am sorry- and that still doesn't make it ok. If your hand was in a non-threatening position and the dog bit you, then that owner is a jerk and I hope their dog didn't go on to bite others. I don't think this is a character flaw in you.

I could be with a non-dog person possibly, as long as they also engaged with my pet, but if they didn't engage I don't think I could do it- like if I had a child and my partner wanted to also ignore them.

Not the PP to whom you're responding, I'm a DP.

Your answer is kindly meant, but I hope you can step back and with a little objectivity see how the part in bold is basically equating a child with a pet. Do you have children, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

What's arrogant is making vast, sweeping generalizations about everyone on the planet who doesn't like dogs enough for your approval. As if you personally know exactly how countless strangers think and feel.

I wonder how you'd react if someone were as grossly generalizing about you? "People who are obsessed with dogs are slobs, hate people, and are threatened by the idea of having to deal with humans who might not adore them unconditionally and unquestioningly."

Get the idea? My statements about you are exactly as accurate as yours about me. Which is not at all, since we've never met.

But I have a feeling you think it's just fine for you to create stereotypes of others and bray those portrayals as if they're universal truths, because, after all, you love dogs so it's...OK for you stereotype strangers, I guess?

Yup
You're totally not uptight

Not uptight, just pi$$3d at idiots who think their pronouncements are Universal Gospel Truth. But then, mabye you really do believe that God is just Dog backward, so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

You're no better than a racist or misogynist.

Definitely not uptight at all

Cute try, but that was someone else and you think it was me....I'm not the only one on this thread who sees your arrogance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that people who dislike dogs are bad people --that's absurd. But I could never be with someone who didn't love dogs. (I also refer to myself as a dog "owner" and not a dog "mom.")

So...if all else were ideal about this person, maybe he or she even does appreciate and respect dogs, but does not want to live with one -- you would choose having a dog over having that person in your life?

NP, but absolutely. For me, it's an essential part of life, like how most people want kids. I happen to not want kids, but I will always have dogs.

And I've never met someone I vibed with who didn't like dogs. People who don't like dogs are either uptight about cleanliness, lacking empathy, or seem almost threatened by the idea that humans are animals too, whether that's rooted in religion or just arrogance.

What's arrogant is making vast, sweeping generalizations about everyone on the planet who doesn't like dogs enough for your approval. As if you personally know exactly how countless strangers think and feel.

I wonder how you'd react if someone were as grossly generalizing about you? "People who are obsessed with dogs are slobs, hate people, and are threatened by the idea of having to deal with humans who might not adore them unconditionally and unquestioningly."

Get the idea? My statements about you are exactly as accurate as yours about me. Which is not at all, since we've never met.

But I have a feeling you think it's just fine for you to create stereotypes of others and bray those portrayals as if they're universal truths, because, after all, you love dogs so it's...OK for you stereotype strangers, I guess?

Yup
You're totally not uptight

DP but are you trying to make the point that if someone doesn't like a dog that makes them uptight? That's insane!! I think that makes YOU sound like the uptight, unwilling to change, close-minded person!


I am not a clean/tidy/organized person, btw, and I still don't want a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This week's Carolyn Hx Reader question is ridiculous.

Dear Carolyn: Do you think someone can truly be a good person if they don't love dogs? I have a boyfriend whom I could really see a future with — except that he doesn't love dogs. I have such a problem with that.
He has never had a dog, says he has never wanted one, and, when he is around my dog, seems mostly indifferent. On the other hand, he's smart and funny and successful and kind. But it hurts me that he and I will go out and have a wonderful time together, and then we'll return to my house and I just want to hug my dog but my boyfriend is standing back like he thinks my dog is going to bite him or something. It just feels like it is a character red flag not to love dogs, isn't it?
— Must Love Dogs

There can be a lot of reasons that someone isn't a dog person - I didn't grow up with dogs, I'm not comfortable around them, I was bit by a dog once for no reason and the dog's owner refused to believe I didn't do something to provoke her precious little muffin (I literally held out my hadn't for the dog to sniff and dog chomped on me). But that doesn't make me any less lovable. It's fine for the OP to dump her boyfriend because he doesn't love her dog, but to say that he must be a bad person because he doesn't love her dog is narcissistic and if I were the BF, I'd think THAT was a red flag!!

What position was your hand in, OP, if you remember?

I'm sorry this happened and I totally understand how this could make someone a no-dog person, and that also makes me sad for what that person is missing, but I get it. Probably like me and cats; I just think they are dicks.

If your hand was in the wrong position and this was not explained at the time, I am sorry- and that still doesn't make it ok. If your hand was in a non-threatening position and the dog bit you, then that owner is a jerk and I hope their dog didn't go on to bite others. I don't think this is a character flaw in you.

I could be with a non-dog person possibly, as long as they also engaged with my pet, but if they didn't engage I don't think I could do it- like if I had a child and my partner wanted to also ignore them.

Not the PP to whom you're responding, I'm a DP.

Your answer is kindly meant, but I hope you can step back and with a little objectivity see how the part in bold is basically equating a child with a pet. Do you have children, PP?

Thanks, I did mean it kindly. Absolutely- 4 chiildren, 4 dogs, 4 guinea pigs, too many fish to count, and a lot of nature in the yard. Perhaps some pet owners would not care if their partner ignores their beloved pet.

Yes, it would be worse/weirder for a human to deliberately attempt to continue to ignore another human, than it would be for a human to ignore an animal. Still not a relationship I would want to be in if someone I love is ignoring someone I love. What exactly is the issue with equating the two in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty indifferent to dogs and don’t want one as a pet. My son HATES dogs since leashless dogs at local parks jumped on him when he was a toddler (thanks dog parents for letting your animals run free!). It will probably screw up his dating life LOL

He can date poc women. Islamic and Hindu women are not dog enthusiasts. Most black women aren’t either.

This is why racial stereotypes are dangerous. Every Indian Hindu and Muslim I've dated has have loved dogs, many owned dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty indifferent to dogs and don’t want one as a pet. My son HATES dogs since leashless dogs at local parks jumped on him when he was a toddler (thanks dog parents for letting your animals run free!). It will probably screw up his dating life LOL

He can date poc women. Islamic and Hindu women are not dog enthusiasts. Most black women aren’t either.

This is beyond stupid.

Why?

Are you asserting that the women described above like dogs as much as white women on a population wide basis?

It’s stupid to say that while women have a monopoly on liking dogs.