Thoughts on the L&D nurse “ick” tiktok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

+1. Why they thought they were doing the world a service by posting it online is beyond me. I guess they didn’t get enough validation within their own group and needed to share.

[Anonymous]

OP, of course ER and pediatric nurses have thoughts like this. And I bet some have posted stuff; they just weren’t caught.

[Anonymous]

So odd because I basically apologized to my L&D nurse after the birth in case I was difficult or whatever (first birth, no epidural) and she was like seriously? My job would be easier if everyone gave birth like that. I guess she was more old school though.
Also agree about the postpartum nurses/staff seeming like the bottom of the barrel. The nurse's assistant made me feel like crap because I didn't know something and was separately rude to my husband about something else. I asked the nurse if the assistant would be switched or anything because she was making us uncomfortable. Not only did she say no, a few hours later we got to leave and the nurse sent the assistant to check us out and walk us out of the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a labor and delivery nurse. She seriously judged women’s pain tolerances, how well they pushed and how whiny they were. I see her side and understand her need to have feelings about work that she deeply loved. She made comments about my first birth that I didn’t like- about how much pain I was feeling, about how well I held my legs while I pushed and how I should just give up and just get a c section- she wanted to see her grandkid. She didn’t get to see #2 and #3 born. I love her but I don’t want to be judged like that.

Omg PP this is awful.

[Anonymous]

Kudos to Emory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those nurses are skummy and unprofessional and should be fired. Someone in the clinical job I am very embarrassed for them.

They have been fired.

And now Emory health is understaffed and the other nurses feel the same way. Hospitals skimp on hiring nurses and those they do have are overworked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

I was on a ward with a mix of women doing natural childbirth and having epidurals (I had an epidural) and I couldn't hear anyone screaming at any point but I did scream out at some points and if anyone found it horrific... sorry? I had my epidural when I arrived and then they had to wean me off it because I was having trouble recognizing when to push based on the timing of the contractions so by the time I actually gave birth I had a lot less medication in my system and it hurt.

If a woman doesn't want an epidural, hospitals should have other pain management methods available and patients should know about them well in advance of giving birth. A woman screaming for 8 straight hours sounds like someone who is enduring pain because she hasn't been given reasonable options, of which there are many.

If you are an L&D nurse, instead of whining on TikTok about women who won't take epidurals, how about educate yourself on other options available to your patients and discuss with your leadership how to better support patients in that position.

[Anonymous]

Hi. I had a long not quiet labor. I initially avoided an epidural because I’d had a medical trauma in relationship to medication and had needed multiple spinal taps to get relief. The idea of another needle puncture my spinal dura was something I was trying to avoid. I did eventually receive an epidural after the back labor was causing my legs to buckle (I essentially stood for 24+ hours to avoid worse spasms). I never screamed but wasn’t silent, lots of grunting. We all have our own process. 😂 I’m sure there were opinions on what would have been better choices from others, but in order to accept the spinal medicine I needed time. I was lucky to have good support and no pressure to change birth style or choices, though I did get good information throughout from care staff.

I’m sorry you had a rough time in your environment. Birthing is not easy for many of us. If I was the loudie, one I apologize. 💗


additionaly, I appreciate and agree with the poster who mentioned having other pain options- AND additional birth support options (stools/chairs) available. Not everyone is a candidate for a home birth or able to afford a birth center/non hospital setting birth.

[Anonymous]

I can see it from both sides, particularly. a FTM and how frightening giving birth can be. A L&D nurses, all nurses, should be empathetic to patient but most hospitals are understaffed and nursing staff can be overwhelmed.

The ultimate blame is with the hospital administrators who save money by understaffing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s probably a larger point here about a geenration in which many people think the way to process your feelings is to put it out there publicly. I hope the nursing and medical schools adjust their curriculum to explain to students why this isn’t okay.

Yeah I agree. I see it as part of a societal wide problem where ppl think it’s ok to post anything and everything online. Yes the nurses got what they deserved but the real question is why they thought it was ok to post something like this in the first place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

So, obviously different but somewhat same vein, I was a special ed teacher for many years. I could understand some medical professionals when they said sometimes they just had to 'turn it off' because if you had extreme feelings of empathy for every person/situation/etc you would never last due to burn out. I also would joke around with select staff about various parents etc in PRIVATE. It would never occur to me in a million years to make a social media post about anything of the sort.

Yeah I think that’s the issue here. We all have our thoughts. But as professionals we shouldn’t be airing these thoughts out in the open in public media. It’s just completely unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

Ridiculous. I had an epidural but was aware I was in a hospital where women were giving birth, some using epidurals some not. It’s terrible to suggest that women in labor should get an epidural just so they will shut up and not bother anyone around them. Also, 8hrs of consistent pain to the point of constant and sustained screaming sounds more like a medical emergency than a typical labor experience. Grow up and recognize that, in a hospital, you are likely going to encounter people who are in pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

Ridiculous. I had an epidural but was aware I was in a hospital where women were giving birth, some using epidurals some not. It’s terrible to suggest that women in labor should get an epidural just so they will shut up and not bother anyone around them. Also, 8hrs of consistent pain to the point of constant and sustained screaming sounds more like a medical emergency than a typical labor experience. Grow up and recognize that, in a hospital, you are likely going to encounter people who are in pain.

+1. I had an epidural but still cried and yelled while in labor. I was in pain, throwing up -- labor is hard! Anyway, I actually did feel self conscious about it and told my husband that I was worried I was bothering other people on the ward with my yelling and he told me that every time he went to the ice machine to get me ice chips, he heard women yelling all over the place. It was a relief to me -- ok, it's normal to be in pain, I would not be a "better" mother if I was just silently enduring the pain.

But I would be a more convenient patient to the nurse working a double shift and nursing a migraine. And that's the problem, and it's why these nurses should have found a better outlet for their complaints than freaking TikTok. Have the self-awareness to challenge the system that keeps you overworked and under-supported, instead of just blaming it all on your patients. They are not the reason you are having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

I think they need some compassion training to be part of a nursing program. How can you dedicate your life to physically caring for people and then have such contempt for them? Seriously reminds me of cops who just love to be awful to the people they supposedly protect and serve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay? Sounds like you may need to work through the issues surrounding your traumatic birth (which no one asked you to describe here) and avoid social media about nurses and L&D. Seems easy enough.

You're on the wrong forum. BTW, YTA.