Thoughts on the L&D nurse “ick” tiktok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four nurses at Emory were fired after making a TikTok of their “icks” which include patients who don’t want an epidural despite reporting high pain, and family members who come to the nurses station instead of using the call button.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna61114

I found the video triggering because I had a traumatic birth (can’t even describe here because it will immediately identify me if someone from the hospital saw it) and a part of that trauma was feeling like the nurses and staff at the hospital were judging me and talking about me. I felt like I had screwed up (I had not, they were severely understaffed and that’s what caused the issue). Literally until we left the hospital, I felt like they were looking at me weird. Obviously compounded by hormones and pain medication.

Not everything they say is that bad but to me it’s just terrible form to discuss your patients in this way. Giving birth is such a vulnerable experience. I also feel like you would never see something like this from medical staff about other patients. The nurses in the pediatric wing or the cancer ward or even the ER (where crazy stuff goes down), I don’t think would go this because I think it’s really impressed upon them that their patients deserve grace, or at least not to have their challenges joked about online. I think these nurses thought this was okay because pregnant women and new moms are viewed as fair game. There’s some inherent misogyny at play which makes this extra gross coming from a bunch of women.

I think it's a terrivble thing that they did this, and I'm sorry it's triggering for you.

As someone who has spent a total of about a year at a child's bedside in the hospital. I think that being jealous of parents in pediatric units, or making assumptions that nothing bad happens there is in really bad taste.

Where did anyone assume nothing bad happens on pediatric wards? No one said that and I think everyone knows that pediatric wards deal with serious concerns and any patient there deserves empathy.

The point is that patients in L&D deserve the same. All patients do.

You are assuming that they consistently get empathy. That this wouldn't happen to them.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with you, OP, about how some L&D nurses are notably judgmental and critical of new mothers. The nurses at my first delivery (in a county hospital) were absolutely horrible to me and my husband. I could go on with a long list of complaints but that would de-rail the thread. I'll just say that I was very traumatized by the treatment from the nurses. (My second delivery was at a local Catholic hospital, and even though we're Jewish, they were wonderful. The nurses were notably more mature and patient, and of course I was a more experienced mother by then.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t have made the tik tok, obviously, but I don’t care if the L&D nurses make fun of me in the break room. They took great care of me and it’s a very hard job. People need humor and some of you need to toughen up. Laughing or complaining about an anonymous patient later is not a big deal.

I don’t disagree about the break room conversation, but nurses posting stuff like this online actually makes those private break room convos less private. If you care about patient privacy, knowing colleagues do stuff like this might make it less likely that you will confide in them or engage in healthy venting about difficult situations.

Posting about patients, even anonymously, online or in any public venue should be 100% off limits.

Imagine being a patient at this hospital who had felt pressured into an epidural and then seeing this video. Nothing good can come from stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four nurses at Emory were fired after making a TikTok of their “icks” which include patients who don’t want an epidural despite reporting high pain, and family members who come to the nurses station instead of using the call button.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna61114

I found the video triggering because I had a traumatic birth (can’t even describe here because it will immediately identify me if someone from the hospital saw it) and a part of that trauma was feeling like the nurses and staff at the hospital were judging me and talking about me. I felt like I had screwed up (I had not, they were severely understaffed and that’s what caused the issue). Literally until we left the hospital, I felt like they were looking at me weird. Obviously compounded by hormones and pain medication.

Not everything they say is that bad but to me it’s just terrible form to discuss your patients in this way. Giving birth is such a vulnerable experience. I also feel like you would never see something like this from medical staff about other patients. The nurses in the pediatric wing or the cancer ward or even the ER (where crazy stuff goes down), I don’t think would go this because I think it’s really impressed upon them that their patients deserve grace, or at least not to have their challenges joked about online. I think these nurses thought this was okay because pregnant women and new moms are viewed as fair game. There’s some inherent misogyny at play which makes this extra gross coming from a bunch of women.

I think it's a terrivble thing that they did this, and I'm sorry it's triggering for you.

As someone who has spent a total of about a year at a child's bedside in the hospital. I think that being jealous of parents in pediatric units, or making assumptions that nothing bad happens there is in really bad taste.

Where did anyone assume nothing bad happens on pediatric wards? No one said that and I think everyone knows that pediatric wards deal with serious concerns and any patient there deserves empathy.

The point is that patients in L&D deserve the same. All patients do.

You are assuming that they consistently get empathy. That this wouldn't happen to them.

I do not think nurses from a pediatric ward would post a jokey video about how their patients annoy them.

[Anonymous]

I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s probably a larger point here about a geenration in which many people think the way to process your feelings is to put it out there publicly. I hope the nursing and medical schools adjust their curriculum to explain to students why this isn’t okay.

+1 exactly right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

Yes, everyone agrees that the problem was posting this online.

We all assume nurses talk $hit about patients and their family offline. That is a given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

You're right, we really don't. Please keep your callous, mocking, and unconstructive comments away from your patients and amongst fellow catty nurses only. TIA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

+1
Free speech means you can't get arrested. It doesn't say anything about keeping your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Just remember free speech just means you can say what you want (assuming you don’t violate patient privacy). But you absolutely can be fired for stuff you say if your employer concludes that it compromises the mission of your organization.

These nurses were fired and they honestly didn’t give their hospital much other choice. Keep those comments private or reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.