Thoughts on the L&D nurse “ick” tiktok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

How trashy. Hope you're proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

You're right, we really don't. Please keep your callous, mocking, and unconstructive comments away from your patients and amongst fellow catty nurses only. TIA!

It doesn't take much to be a nurse does it. It's like real estate. Everyone who can't do anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Tell me you don't actually work in the healthcare field. Yes, we do trash talk about some of the horrible events and yes, sometimes patients we deal with on a daily basis. There is a difference between venting with co-workers and posting on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree OP. The way pregnant and postpartum and particularly women IN LABOR are treated is terrible.

When I had my premature twins after being hospitalized for a long time before their birth, the horrible nurse in charge of me the day I had an emergency c section would not let me see my kids the day they were born because I cried when they were born. I was not hysterical and I'm pretty unemotional. She tried to prevent me from seeing my kids in the nicu the next day but I called for another nurse and they removed her. She was a nasty person who bad mouthed other patients to me and made insulting remarks about my roommate who was in the hospital like me but was unmarried with no insurance. This was at FFX Hospital. Fair Oaks hospital was worse and Loudoun Hospital was the absolute pits. I now hate hospitals and don't trust nurses.

All three hospitals were horrible huh?

[Anonymous]

Two things can be true at once: most patients are annoying and deserve to be gossiped about, and most nurses are trashy and not that smart.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with what they did however the vitriol towards nurses is crazy. I'm assuming these are the same people who complain about lazy, stupid teachers all the time. Nurses are often the ones who catch the mistakes doctors make, they are often the best advocate for patients, and they are the ones who determine whether you have a good stay or not. They deal with behavior and horrors we can only imagine and then take a deep breath and do it again and again. They wear out their bodies and their souls. I have been the grateful recipient of wonderful care from a number of nurses and I'm grateful for them every day. Yes, I've had not great care but I've also had a bad mechanic, a bad boss, a bad service worker etc... You are dealing with humans - there's gonna be a variety. Y'all keep slamming nurses and you aren't gonna have any there when you need them. We are already seeing that. Again, yes these tik tok fools were bad but that's not all nurses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four nurses at Emory were fired after making a TikTok of their “icks” which include patients who don’t want an epidural despite reporting high pain, and family members who come to the nurses station instead of using the call button.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna61114

I found the video triggering because I had a traumatic birth (can’t even describe here because it will immediately identify me if someone from the hospital saw it) and a part of that trauma was feeling like the nurses and staff at the hospital were judging me and talking about me. I felt like I had screwed up (I had not, they were severely understaffed and that’s what caused the issue). Literally until we left the hospital, I felt like they were looking at me weird. Obviously compounded by hormones and pain medication.

Not everything they say is that bad but to me it’s just terrible form to discuss your patients in this way. Giving birth is such a vulnerable experience. I also feel like you would never see something like this from medical staff about other patients. The nurses in the pediatric wing or the cancer ward or even the ER (where crazy stuff goes down), I don’t think would go this because I think it’s really impressed upon them that their patients deserve grace, or at least not to have their challenges joked about online. I think these nurses thought this was okay because pregnant women and new moms are viewed as fair game. There’s some inherent misogyny at play which makes this extra gross coming from a bunch of women.

I think it's a terrivble thing that they did this, and I'm sorry it's triggering for you.

As someone who has spent a total of about a year at a child's bedside in the hospital. I think that being jealous of parents in pediatric units, or making assumptions that nothing bad happens there is in really bad taste.

Where did anyone assume nothing bad happens on pediatric wards? No one said that and I think everyone knows that pediatric wards deal with serious concerns and any patient there deserves empathy.

The point is that patients in L&D deserve the same. All patients do.

You are assuming that they consistently get empathy. That this wouldn't happen to them.

I do not think nurses from a pediatric ward would post a jokey video about how their patients annoy them.

I have been a nurse in a pediatric unit and we 100000% complained about annoying patients and families in the break room. If tiktok were a thing in the early 2000s some immature new nurse might have made a tiktok about it. Medical workers are human and the spoiled 4 year old and his horrible mother aren’t any less spoiled/horrible after an appendectomy.

Fwiw, coming to the nurses station instead of using the call bell is equivalent to a neighbor knocking on your door at dinner time to tell you something that should have been a text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

You clearly don’t work in health care. If a patient is rude and whiny and mean believe me, we still provide the same good care but we complain about you and make fun of you at lunchtime. We aren’t robots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

And who are you to determine how a stressed healthcare worker can blow off steam? Gossiping in the break room is way better (and a lot cheaper) than therapy.
Your superior attitude is repugnant.

NP

I don’t think that saying mean or nasty things about the people you’re caring for is an acceptable way to blow off steam. It’s one thing to vent but these women were sarcastic and just obviously has contempt for those patients. I see the same things sometimes with teachers and their students too and I don’t think it’s okay.

DP. I guess you don't know any nurses or doctors. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Do you seriously not know people who aren’t mean?

And I do know nurses and doctors. I’ve worked in a doctors office before as a transcriptionist. Yes a lot of doctors and nurses made unkind jokes but not all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was prepared to come in and laugh a bit at OP being so sensitive but uh, wow. I also thought there’d be atleast baseline agreement that it shouldn’t have happened. How do so many people think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of people - let alone their own patients - amongst coworkers behind their back? I teach my kids if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all, and apparently some of y’all need to revisit that fairly universal concept. No, trash talking people isn’t a form of “therapy” and not wanting to be the subject of trash-talk isn’t “the height of privilege”. LOL what world do some of you live in where that’s acceptable?? Now we atleast know who is parenting the school bullies!

I didn't even watch the TikTok but I'm the PP special ed teacher. I guess maybe you're just fortunate and haven't had a job where people treat you really poorly? But as a teacher I often felt disrespected by parents and I imagine nurses deal with a lot of unpleasant patients/families as well. My DH doesn't want to hear a bunch of complaints when he gets home so complaining with people who can commiserate and know what you're talking about (coworkers) is typically the best option.
If you are disrespected at work on a regular basis and don't feel the need to vent to anyone then I guess you're just a superior person

No no no this is not in any way ok. If someone disrespects you, you take it up with them, your boss, or your god. You don’t “let off steam” by making it a habit of just trashing people behind their back. And by the way, if that many people are “disrespecting you” on a regular basis, you just may be the problem. You sound like you’re 12 and I HOPE TO GOD you are not raising any kids that my children have to be around. Grow the ef up and actually deal with your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was prepared to come in and laugh a bit at OP being so sensitive but uh, wow. I also thought there’d be atleast baseline agreement that it shouldn’t have happened. How do so many people think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of people - let alone their own patients - amongst coworkers behind their back? I teach my kids if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all, and apparently some of y’all need to revisit that fairly universal concept. No, trash talking people isn’t a form of “therapy” and not wanting to be the subject of trash-talk isn’t “the height of privilege”. LOL what world do some of you live in where that’s acceptable?? Now we atleast know who is parenting the school bullies!

I didn't even watch the TikTok but I'm the PP special ed teacher. I guess maybe you're just fortunate and haven't had a job where people treat you really poorly? But as a teacher I often felt disrespected by parents and I imagine nurses deal with a lot of unpleasant patients/families as well. My DH doesn't want to hear a bunch of complaints when he gets home so complaining with people who can commiserate and know what you're talking about (coworkers) is typically the best option.
If you are disrespected at work on a regular basis and don't feel the need to vent to anyone then I guess you're just a superior person

No no no this is not in any way ok. If someone disrespects you, you take it up with them, your boss, or your god. You don’t “let off steam” by making it a habit of just trashing people behind their back. And by the way, if that many people are “disrespecting you” on a regular basis, you just may be the problem. You sound like you’re 12 and I HOPE TO GOD you are not raising any kids that my children have to be around. Grow the ef up and actually deal with your problems.

Sounds like you're one of those superior people! Congrats
There you go nurses: don't dare vent to your coworkers, just take it up with your patients and/or their families, clearly that will work well. Or your boss... or pray about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was prepared to come in and laugh a bit at OP being so sensitive but uh, wow. I also thought there’d be atleast baseline agreement that it shouldn’t have happened. How do so many people think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of people - let alone their own patients - amongst coworkers behind their back? I teach my kids if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all, and apparently some of y’all need to revisit that fairly universal concept. No, trash talking people isn’t a form of “therapy” and not wanting to be the subject of trash-talk isn’t “the height of privilege”. LOL what world do some of you live in where that’s acceptable?? Now we atleast know who is parenting the school bullies!

I didn't even watch the TikTok but I'm the PP special ed teacher. I guess maybe you're just fortunate and haven't had a job where people treat you really poorly? But as a teacher I often felt disrespected by parents and I imagine nurses deal with a lot of unpleasant patients/families as well. My DH doesn't want to hear a bunch of complaints when he gets home so complaining with people who can commiserate and know what you're talking about (coworkers) is typically the best option.
If you are disrespected at work on a regular basis and don't feel the need to vent to anyone then I guess you're just a superior person

No no no this is not in any way ok. If someone disrespects you, you take it up with them, your boss, or your god. You don’t “let off steam” by making it a habit of just trashing people behind their back. And by the way, if that many people are “disrespecting you” on a regular basis, you just may be the problem. You sound like you’re 12 and I HOPE TO GOD you are not raising any kids that my children have to be around. Grow the ef up and actually deal with your problems.

Sounds like you're one of those superior people! Congrats
There you go nurses: don't dare vent to your coworkers, just take it up with your patients and/or their families, clearly that will work well. Or your boss... or pray about it.

Right?? Sure, ok, I'm going to say to the patient's mom who screams at me for being 4 minutes late with their child's pain medication "I feel like you are being disrespectful and we need to chat about that." No, I'm going to apologize, give the child the pain medication as quickly as possible because I don't want him to be in pain and I couldn't help being 4 minutes late because my other patient's oxygen was dipping but I can't share that with this other patient's family. And then I'm going to go into the break room and say that the C-word mom in room 312 is back at it today, and everyone else is going to roll their eyes and know exactly what I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

You clearly don’t work in health care. If a patient is rude and whiny and mean believe me, we still provide the same good care but we complain about you and make fun of you at lunchtime. We aren’t robots.

Yeah exactly you aren't robots- you're humans and you have biases. Even complaining about it on some level can be productive but it's not when it becomes toxic. When it changes other people's perception of that patient. There's a difference between telling a nurse who's coming on shift that patient in room 24 is a little bit prickly and will complain about the food and saying something about oh man the chick in room 24 is one of those f****** hippies who won't take an epidural. I can't tell if I wanted her to take the epidural and shut up or if I want her to put on deodorant.
You can complain about the husband being lazy and taking up space and making it harder to do your job but don't gossip about how he is always on his phone so much and checked out and if you were her boyfriend you be checked out too cuz she's such a crazy bit h.

Again as a healthcare provider I really wish you'd take a look at the Instagram post that I linked about the woman during labor who was shushed by her nurse. Physically put her finger up to her mouth and not in the comforting way it was in a dismissing way.

Part of it starts at the top with how doctors treat patients because I've seen doctors do cervical checks without asking just walk in the f****** door put on a glove sit down and do a check. I've seen them break water without discussing it with the patient. I've been ignored by nurses I've been dismissed by nurses. And I do work in healthcare I've worked in healthcare since my early 20s. The one thing you should remind yourself every day is that patient doesn't get to choose you as their nurse but you get to choose the type of nurse you're going to be that day. And talking negatively all the time and b***ing all the time isn't productive and it absolutely plays into the type of care you provide. Don't f****** kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

You clearly don’t work in health care. If a patient is rude and whiny and mean believe me, we still provide the same good care but we complain about you and make fun of you at lunchtime. We aren’t robots.

Yeah exactly you aren't robots- you're humans and you have biases. Even complaining about it on some level can be productive but it's not when it becomes toxic. When it changes other people's perception of that patient. There's a difference between telling a nurse who's coming on shift that patient in room 24 is a little bit prickly and will complain about the food and saying something about oh man the chick in room 24 is one of those f****** hippies who won't take an epidural. I can't tell if I wanted her to take the epidural and shut up or if I want her to put on deodorant.
You can complain about the husband being lazy and taking up space and making it harder to do your job but don't gossip about how he is always on his phone so much and checked out and if you were her boyfriend you be checked out too cuz she's such a crazy bit h.

Again as a healthcare provider I really wish you'd take a look at the Instagram post that I linked about the woman during labor who was shushed by her nurse. Physically put her finger up to her mouth and not in the comforting way it was in a dismissing way.

Part of it starts at the top with how doctors treat patients because I've seen doctors do cervical checks without asking just walk in the f****** door put on a glove sit down and do a check. I've seen them break water without discussing it with the patient. I've been ignored by nurses I've been dismissed by nurses. And I do work in healthcare I've worked in healthcare since my early 20s. The one thing you should remind yourself every day is that patient doesn't get to choose you as their nurse but you get to choose the type of nurse you're going to be that day. And talking negatively all the time and b***ing all the time isn't productive and it absolutely plays into the type of care you provide. Don't f****** kid yourself.

You're projecting an awful lot from my 3 sentence post. Yes, I agree that fostering a culture of complaining and being negative ends up being a terrible thing, both for happiness in the workplace and for patient care. But if you don't think I'm going to give a heads up to my coworker that the patient in room 5 will cuss her out if she suggests getting out of bed and taking a few laps around the unit, you're crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

You clearly don’t work in health care. If a patient is rude and whiny and mean believe me, we still provide the same good care but we complain about you and make fun of you at lunchtime. We aren’t robots.

Yeah exactly you aren't robots- you're humans and you have biases. Even complaining about it on some level can be productive but it's not when it becomes toxic. When it changes other people's perception of that patient. There's a difference between telling a nurse who's coming on shift that patient in room 24 is a little bit prickly and will complain about the food and saying something about oh man the chick in room 24 is one of those f****** hippies who won't take an epidural. I can't tell if I wanted her to take the epidural and shut up or if I want her to put on deodorant.
You can complain about the husband being lazy and taking up space and making it harder to do your job but don't gossip about how he is always on his phone so much and checked out and if you were her boyfriend you be checked out too cuz she's such a crazy bit h.

Again as a healthcare provider I really wish you'd take a look at the Instagram post that I linked about the woman during labor who was shushed by her nurse. Physically put her finger up to her mouth and not in the comforting way it was in a dismissing way.

Part of it starts at the top with how doctors treat patients because I've seen doctors do cervical checks without asking just walk in the f****** door put on a glove sit down and do a check. I've seen them break water without discussing it with the patient. I've been ignored by nurses I've been dismissed by nurses. And I do work in healthcare I've worked in healthcare since my early 20s. The one thing you should remind yourself every day is that patient doesn't get to choose you as their nurse but you get to choose the type of nurse you're going to be that day. And talking negatively all the time and b***ing all the time isn't productive and it absolutely plays into the type of care you provide. Don't f****** kid yourself.

You're projecting an awful lot from my 3 sentence post. Yes, I agree that fostering a culture of complaining and being negative ends up being a terrible thing, both for happiness in the workplace and for patient care. But if you don't think I'm going to give a heads up to my coworker that the patient in room 5 will cuss her out if she suggests getting out of bed and taking a few laps around the unit, you're crazy.

Okay but... did you try praying about it?