Thoughts on the L&D nurse “ick” tiktok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

Ridiculous. I had an epidural but was aware I was in a hospital where women were giving birth, some using epidurals some not. It’s terrible to suggest that women in labor should get an epidural just so they will shut up and not bother anyone around them. Also, 8hrs of consistent pain to the point of constant and sustained screaming sounds more like a medical emergency than a typical labor experience. Grow up and recognize that, in a hospital, you are likely going to encounter people who are in pain.

+1. I had an epidural but still cried and yelled while in labor. I was in pain, throwing up -- labor is hard! Anyway, I actually did feel self conscious about it and told my husband that I was worried I was bothering other people on the ward with my yelling and he told me that every time he went to the ice machine to get me ice chips, he heard women yelling all over the place. It was a relief to me -- ok, it's normal to be in pain, I would not be a "better" mother if I was just silently enduring the pain.

But I would be a more convenient patient to the nurse working a double shift and nursing a migraine. And that's the problem, and it's why these nurses should have found a better outlet for their complaints than freaking TikTok. Have the self-awareness to challenge the system that keeps you overworked and under-supported, instead of just blaming it all on your patients. They are not the reason you are having a hard time.

Yup. Had similar conversation with my partner. And one of our nurses. She was kind enough to tell me she didn’t hear anything.

The delivering OB did say something to the effect of “women who labor like you (have a hard time)”. He was no prize. We did find a way to communicate during birth, but he was very difficult. To the nurses as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t have made the tik tok, obviously, but I don’t care if the L&D nurses make fun of me in the break room. They took great care of me and it’s a very hard job. People need humor and some of you need to toughen up. Laughing or complaining about an anonymous patient later is not a big deal.

This. I literally couldn’t care less if they made fun of me behind my back. Joking is stress relief. As long as it’s not to my face or shaming specific women in public, I don’t care. And yes, I’ve gone through an extremely difficult labor and was probably a patient who got complained about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

What the actual??? So you think that one should be considerate of other people when doing basically the hardest thing a woman can do. Holy internalized misogyny. Women get to give birth how they want to. Its not anyone elses job to modify their clinical experience to make yours more to your liking. Just wow!

[Anonymous]

An account I follow on IG recently posted from a client who shared a picture with a nurse shushing her during labor because she wanted to try open breathing vs closed glottis breathing. L&D can be one of the most archaic institutions and regularly doctors/nurses have lost their compassion and need reminders that consent matters. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl9cS7cuF6R/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

As long as (1) it doesn’t impact my care, and (2) it doesn’t get back to me, I don’t care.

The most alarming thing from the TikTok to me is the comment about epidurals. That nurse is complaining about patients who are asserting a right to refuse the most invasive form of pain management because doing do makes her job harder. If that’s how you feel, you should not be an L&D nurse (or maybe a nurse at all).

I had an epidural, by the way. Loved it. But it was my choice and if for whatever reason I’d decided against it, I would expect the nurse to roll with it and to be educated in other methods for pain management.

You obviously weren't on a ward with a woman doing natural birth. I had 8 hours of listening to her scream. As a patient, it was the most horrific experience. I have 0 respect for anyone that puts so many people through her pain.

Doctors and nurses- as a whole- know very little about other methods of pain management and expect women to push on their back as close to 100% as possible because it is ideal for them. Bathing tubs, walking epidural- its all BS lip service, because when it comes down to it, it is easier for them to contain you to a bed, push meds, and then wonder why you dont progress or your pain is off the charts. Its all about "liability" or not enough staff. But that doesnt make it to the brochure or hospital tour somehow.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

And who are you to determine how a stressed healthcare worker can blow off steam? Gossiping in the break room is way better (and a lot cheaper) than therapy.
Your superior attitude is repugnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s probably a larger point here about a geenration in which many people think the way to process your feelings is to put it out there publicly. I hope the nursing and medical schools adjust their curriculum to explain to students why this isn’t okay.

+1 it's totally different from having these convos in the break room and even joking about stuff wor colleagues and friends to deal with the stress of the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

And who are you to determine how a stressed healthcare worker can blow off steam? Gossiping in the break room is way better (and a lot cheaper) than therapy.
Your superior attitude is repugnant.

NP

I don’t think that saying mean or nasty things about the people you’re caring for is an acceptable way to blow off steam. It’s one thing to vent but these women were sarcastic and just obviously has contempt for those patients. I see the same things sometimes with teachers and their students too and I don’t think it’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a veteran ICU nurse.

Then you all really, really don't want to know what we say about you family members of the critically ill -- out of earshot.

Their mistake was blabbering in a showy public way.

I know you all have a stressful job, but you have no right to mock and criticize people who are trying their best to navigate a stressful situation, even if their behavior appears inappropriate to you. Find a new line of work.

Actually, we do have that right. Free speech and all.

Ummm... you can have free speech as an unemployed person.

Look, if every nurse or physician was fired for talking bad about patient families then there would be no nurses or physicians left.

Nope. I know some wonderful people in the medical profession who do not talk trash about the people they care for. You just run with a terrible crowd.

Alright, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know if you’re in critical care and your family member is acting a fool, the whole floor has heard about it at the break room or nurse’s station.

First off, who are you to determine if a family is acting a fool as you say? If they are 1. dangerous to themselves or others 2. making it difficult for patients to rest 3. physically or verbally assaulting staff or patients or other family members that is unacceptable. Anything else is mouth closed. You can complain about family. Dont utter a word about patients and their conditions/etc outside of medically necessary sharing of info. You are repugnant. Go see a therapist and talk it out.

And who are you to determine how a stressed healthcare worker can blow off steam? Gossiping in the break room is way better (and a lot cheaper) than therapy.
Your superior attitude is repugnant.

NP

I don’t think that saying mean or nasty things about the people you’re caring for is an acceptable way to blow off steam. It’s one thing to vent but these women were sarcastic and just obviously has contempt for those patients. I see the same things sometimes with teachers and their students too and I don’t think it’s okay.

DP. I guess you don't know any nurses or doctors. Or anyone else, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

I gotta be honest based on this thread I thought that this was going to be a million times worse. I mean it IS ick if someone is going between two baby mamas rooms! Or asking for a paternity test right outside! The asking to eat or how much your baby weighs are stupid but more like like thoughtlessness. The only one I thought was iffy was the pain one and even that meh

[Anonymous]

My sister has been a medsurge nurse in a hospital for over 20 years. She and her coworkers say horrible things about their patients and I wouldn’t even want my own sister as my nurse. It’s like they absolutely hate being there, why don’t they get a another job, work on a different floor/unit? I don’t get it.

My sister suddenly changed her tune, temporarily, when she blew out her knee and found herself being the patient in a hospital. But it was short lived and when she was back on the floor she was back to complain complain complain.

[Anonymous]

I was prepared to come in and laugh a bit at OP being so sensitive but uh, wow. I also thought there’d be atleast baseline agreement that it shouldn’t have happened. How do so many people think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of people - let alone their own patients - amongst coworkers behind their back? I teach my kids if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all, and apparently some of y’all need to revisit that fairly universal concept. No, trash talking people isn’t a form of “therapy” and not wanting to be the subject of trash-talk isn’t “the height of privilege”. LOL what world do some of you live in where that’s acceptable?? Now we atleast know who is parenting the school bullies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was prepared to come in and laugh a bit at OP being so sensitive but uh, wow. I also thought there’d be atleast baseline agreement that it shouldn’t have happened. How do so many people think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of people - let alone their own patients - amongst coworkers behind their back? I teach my kids if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all, and apparently some of y’all need to revisit that fairly universal concept. No, trash talking people isn’t a form of “therapy” and not wanting to be the subject of trash-talk isn’t “the height of privilege”. LOL what world do some of you live in where that’s acceptable?? Now we atleast know who is parenting the school bullies!

I didn't even watch the TikTok but I'm the PP special ed teacher. I guess maybe you're just fortunate and haven't had a job where people treat you really poorly? But as a teacher I often felt disrespected by parents and I imagine nurses deal with a lot of unpleasant patients/families as well. My DH doesn't want to hear a bunch of complaints when he gets home so complaining with people who can commiserate and know what you're talking about (coworkers) is typically the best option.
If you are disrespected at work on a regular basis and don't feel the need to vent to anyone then I guess you're just a superior person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree OP. The way pregnant and postpartum and particularly women IN LABOR are treated is terrible.

When I had my premature twins after being hospitalized for a long time before their birth, the horrible nurse in charge of me the day I had an emergency c section would not let me see my kids the day they were born because I cried when they were born. I was not hysterical and I'm pretty unemotional. She tried to prevent me from seeing my kids in the nicu the next day but I called for another nurse and they removed her. She was a nasty person who bad mouthed other patients to me and made insulting remarks about my roommate who was in the hospital like me but was unmarried with no insurance. This was at FFX Hospital. Fair Oaks hospital was worse and Loudoun Hospital was the absolute pits. I now hate hospitals and don't trust nurses.