Husband wants to be more intimate

[Anonymous]

In my experience, the survival mode of parenting is about quick bursts of focused attention:
10 minutes of lifting weights at home vs. 1 hour at the gym before work.
15 minute quick sex sessions vs. dinner + drinks + foreplay + hot sex.
10 minute shower + wet hair + sunscreen vs. 20 minute shower + blow dried hair + makeup.
Be realistic about short, frequent sex sessions, but don't cut it out entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the survival mode of parenting is about quick bursts of focused attention:
10 minutes of lifting weights at home vs. 1 hour at the gym before work.
15 minute quick sex sessions vs. dinner + drinks + foreplay + hot sex.
10 minute shower + wet hair + sunscreen vs. 20 minute shower + blow dried hair + makeup.
Be realistic about short, frequent sex sessions, but don't cut it out entirely.

Except short, ten minute sex sessions are generally only good for one of the partners. Guess which one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the survival mode of parenting is about quick bursts of focused attention:
10 minutes of lifting weights at home vs. 1 hour at the gym before work.
15 minute quick sex sessions vs. dinner + drinks + foreplay + hot sex.
10 minute shower + wet hair + sunscreen vs. 20 minute shower + blow dried hair + makeup.
Be realistic about short, frequent sex sessions, but don't cut it out entirely.

Except short, ten minute sex sessions are generally only good for one of the partners. Guess which one?

In my house, DW i.e. me.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the survival mode of parenting is about quick bursts of focused attention:
10 minutes of lifting weights at home vs. 1 hour at the gym before work.
15 minute quick sex sessions vs. dinner + drinks + foreplay + hot sex.
10 minute shower + wet hair + sunscreen vs. 20 minute shower + blow dried hair + makeup.
Be realistic about short, frequent sex sessions, but don't cut it out entirely.

Except short, ten minute sex sessions are generally only good for one of the partners. Guess which one?

In my house, DW i.e. me.

-NP

Because you're getting it over with or because he's doing a good job in that time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, the survival mode of parenting is about quick bursts of focused attention:
10 minutes of lifting weights at home vs. 1 hour at the gym before work.
15 minute quick sex sessions vs. dinner + drinks + foreplay + hot sex.
10 minute shower + wet hair + sunscreen vs. 20 minute shower + blow dried hair + makeup.
Be realistic about short, frequent sex sessions, but don't cut it out entirely.

Except short, ten minute sex sessions are generally only good for one of the partners. Guess which one?

In my house, DW i.e. me.

-NP

And if that’s how you like sex and that meets your needs, more power to you! I couldn’t finish in a fifteen minute quickie so would never make them a frequent part of my routine— just like I wouldn’t expect my husband to have frequent non-climactic sex.

[Anonymous]

I think her DH needs to be a little more patient at 3 months with twins.

But.....

She needs to be cognizant that sex is the glue that keeps couples together. Once a week to set aside 15-30 minutes isn't too much to ask.

I hope you find time to reconnect. I see so many low libido people use this justification suing the toddler years. Then elementary school. Then the kids are always awake

And they wonder why their husbands cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

+1 best thing for those kids is a strong marriage

What is it about unwanted sex that leads to a strong marriage?

Your husband won’t leave you for the secretary

If my H left for the secretary or cheated because we were having sex only once a week due to having 3 month old twins, she can have him. Any male who does that is worthless trash and their wife is way better off without them.

These pieces of garbage act like their fidelity is so precious but it’s not. If you can’t keep it in your pants for 6 days, you’re not a man, and you’re not worth having.

But my guess is they’re all selfish guys in sexless marriages who couldn’t get laid if they were paying for it. A secretary? LOL. They aren’t interested, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think her DH needs to be a little more patient at 3 months with twins.

But.....

She needs to be cognizant that sex is the glue that keeps couples together. Once a week to set aside 15-30 minutes isn't too much to ask.

I hope you find time to reconnect. I see so many low libido people use this justification suing the toddler years. Then elementary school. Then the kids are always awake

And they wonder why their husbands cheated.

Did you even read? They are having sex once a week.

[Anonymous]

OP, you and your DH need to compromise. You, put out a little bit more, and him a little bit less.

Don't go all or nothing. It just breeds resentment and is not good for your marriage.

Talk to him. Open the communication channel, and your legs. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think her DH needs to be a little more patient at 3 months with twins.

But.....

She needs to be cognizant that sex is the glue that keeps couples together. Once a week to set aside 15-30 minutes isn't too much to ask.

I hope you find time to reconnect. I see so many low libido people use this justification suing the toddler years. Then elementary school. Then the kids are always awake

And they wonder why their husbands cheated.

Did you even read? They are having sex once a week.

At THREE months postpartum. With TWINS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you and your DH need to compromise. You, put out a little bit more, and him a little bit less.

Don't go all or nothing. It just breeds resentment and is not good for your marriage.

Talk to him. Open the communication channel, and your legs. .

Another one who can’t read. Their current frequency is already a compromise.

And, again, suggesting she have bad sex is incredibly bad advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think her DH needs to be a little more patient at 3 months with twins.

But.....

She needs to be cognizant that sex is the glue that keeps couples together. Once a week to set aside 15-30 minutes isn't too much to ask.

I hope you find time to reconnect. I see so many low libido people use this justification suing the toddler years. Then elementary school. Then the kids are always awake

And they wonder why their husbands cheated.

Did you even read? They are having sex once a week.

I stand corrected. Once a week is definitely decent at that point.

[Anonymous]

Have you told your husband any of this?

I suggest telling you just aren't ready for more.

If you need more help during the day not just to have sex but to preserve your sanity get it.


Also don't be ashamed to get therapy if you feel traumatized by giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

+1 best thing for those kids is a strong marriage

What is it about unwanted sex that leads to a strong marriage?

Your husband won’t leave you for the secretary

If my H left for the secretary or cheated because we were having sex only once a week due to having 3 month old twins, she can have him. Any male who does that is worthless trash and their wife is way better off without them.

These pieces of garbage act like their fidelity is so precious but it’s not. If you can’t keep it in your pants for 6 days, you’re not a man, and you’re not worth having.

But my guess is they’re all selfish guys in sexless marriages who couldn’t get laid if they were paying for it. A secretary? LOL. They aren’t interested, honey.

+1000 Some of these responses are just insane. We had a long stretch of no sex after our first was born and when it returned our sex life was even better than before because we became even closer through sharing the craziness of newborn parenting (my husband was super focused on taking an equal role in childcare, not pestering me for sex).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am team put out. What exactly is wrong with your mouth performing? Your anus? How can you be that tired that you can not spend a couple minutes being intimate with your husband? You are consumed by your children but what about him? Where and when does he get attention and affection from you? If you want, tell him that he needs to be proactive in finding a babysitter once a week so you all can go to a hotel and have sex. Figure it out:

Anus after birth? She'll get incontinence, you idiot. She'll need adult diapers because of fecal discharge.