Tell me your best jokes
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Anonymous
| Last night in Baltimore, two peanuts were a-salted walking down the street |
Anonymous
|
What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?
Half a cat. |
Anonymous
|
why do birds fly south?
because it's too far to walk. |
Anonymous
Wait. I don’t get it. 😭😭 |
Anonymous
Oh, wait….. “balls” as in dances. 🤣🤣🤣 |
Anonymous
But, that’s….not funny. |
Anonymous
NP. The punchline is typically longer, like "Arrr (R) you'd think so, but me first love be the sea (C)." It's a hit with kids because they always say "the letter R" when asked for a pirate's favorite letter and are excited to know the answer and then you get to say the punchline. |
Anonymous
Please explain this one to me. I don’t get it and I’m a huge fan of U2. |
Anonymous
Cinderella goes to the ball and meets the prince. A formal dance. Ball gowns. Just imagine a mouse dressed in white tie and tails and his lady mouse in a beautiful ballgown showing cleavage, wearing a diamond tiara A symphony orchestra is playing a Strauss waltz and the mice go out on the dance floor but they fall down because they can't dance. |
Anonymous
|
Murphy went to London and got lost in the underground. When he finally found his way out, it was 2 AM. There was a sign on the escalator saying, "Dogs Must Be Carried On The Escalator."
"My God," says Murphy, "where do I find a dog at this hour of the night?!?" |
Anonymous
Bono and The Edge "Oh God, not U2 again." |
Anonymous
I don’t get it! 
|
Anonymous
Oh god, not you two again. Oh god, not U2 again. Say it out loud. |
Anonymous
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How do you make a clown stop laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe. |
Anonymous
This made me laugh out loud. Yes. I’m sick and I can own it 😂 |