Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

I bet dating & sex are down also because weight is so far up. I know there is (thankfully) so many more sizes and body types depicted in the media but there’s still such a stigma to dating overweight people.

It adds to the loneliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Gay teens do?

Because gay teens can’t believe in Jesus or want to go to church?

There are plenty of churches that welcome everyone and don’t believe that Jesus and church is based on excluding.

+1 I've already posted in this thread on a different topic, but have to chime in that it's really doing a disservice to teens and churches if you think they're all the same. My Methodist church is very outspoken and purposeful in their inclusion of the LGBTQ+ community. Just do a little reading on the Methodist church. It's tearing itself apart to take a stand to support the community and I feel like nobody outside the church is paying attention.

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher and this sounds right to me. Todays teens are just overwhelmingly stressed and don’t have any faith that a better future is ahead. It’s so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet dating & sex are down also because weight is so far up. I know there is (thankfully) so many more sizes and body types depicted in the media but there’s still such a stigma to dating overweight people.

It adds to the loneliness.

Maybe for teens in wealthy white communities that's true, I honestly don't know. I work with teens, primarily Black and Latino and lower-income. I really don't think being heavy is holding anyone back here. I think that bigger bodies are considered desirable and there are so many more cute clothes options compared to when I was a teen and dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I don't know why teens are sad, depressed, and anxious but we have definitely seen a big uptick over the past five years where I work. I think meaningful interests, a developmentally appropriate amount of responsibility, training in some basic CBT/DBT techniques, and a lot of love and positive feedback in a least one but hopefully multiple areas of life (home, school, extracurriculars, friends, faith group), all those things help a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

No.

- A Jew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Gay teens do?

Because gay teens can’t believe in Jesus or want to go to church?

There are plenty of churches that welcome everyone and don’t believe that Jesus and church is based on excluding.

+1 I've already posted in this thread on a different topic, but have to chime in that it's really doing a disservice to teens and churches if you think they're all the same. My Methodist church is very outspoken and purposeful in their inclusion of the LGBTQ+ community. Just do a little reading on the Methodist church. It's tearing itself apart to take a stand to support the community and I feel like nobody outside the church is paying attention.

Whether it is a church or religious organization, recreational sports, or a lack of community centers or organizations, we lack places where kids can connect with each other, enjoy activities, and exist in a space where they aren't being judged or sorted. We start sorting kids at young ages in school, and that carries through with other activities like sports, dance, etc. Religious organizations, recreational sports leagues or regular community activities have fallen out of favor for a variety of reasons, whether they are a past history of abuse or peer and parental pressure to be the best. Kids are always being moved up, down, or around, so it is difficult to make lasting connections. This creates uncertainty and a "why even bother attitude."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Yeah we are atheists. I was raised Christian though and don’t think church stopped any issues.

+1 We lived in the Bible Belt for awhile and pretty much every teen had a "relationship with Jesus" and was "connected to a church." LMAO if you think that did anything. Plenty of maladjusted, depressed, anxious teens and adults. But what was worse was that there was so much stigma that proper treatment was often not pursued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Gay teens do?

Because gay teens can’t believe in Jesus or want to go to church?

There are plenty of churches that welcome everyone and don’t believe that Jesus and church is based on excluding.

+1 I've already posted in this thread on a different topic, but have to chime in that it's really doing a disservice to teens and churches if you think they're all the same. My Methodist church is very outspoken and purposeful in their inclusion of the LGBTQ+ community. Just do a little reading on the Methodist church. It's tearing itself apart to take a stand to support the community and I feel like nobody outside the church is paying attention.

Whether it is a church or religious organization, recreational sports, or a lack of community centers or organizations, we lack places where kids can connect with each other, enjoy activities, and exist in a space where they aren't being judged or sorted. We start sorting kids at young ages in school, and that carries through with other activities like sports, dance, etc. Religious organizations, recreational sports leagues or regular community activities have fallen out of favor for a variety of reasons, whether they are a past history of abuse or peer and parental pressure to be the best. Kids are always being moved up, down, or around, so it is difficult to make lasting connections. This creates uncertainty and a "why even bother attitude."

Although we attend a GTLBQ friendly church, I agree. There are many different faith communities, sport clubs, activities and multi faceted ways to form healthy community and allow young people to just be themselves, and have age appropriate fun.

Also some young people need down time to do nothing much without feeling guilty. Modern life is stressful and we need to make it Ok for them to just chill sometimes.

Many of the holy scriptures and health professionals mention the value of simply having time to be still/ quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet dating & sex are down also because weight is so far up. I know there is (thankfully) so many more sizes and body types depicted in the media but there’s still such a stigma to dating overweight people.

It adds to the loneliness.

Maybe for teens in wealthy white communities that's true, I honestly don't know. I work with teens, primarily Black and Latino and lower-income. I really don't think being heavy is holding anyone back here. I think that bigger bodies are considered desirable and there are so many more cute clothes options compared to when I was a teen and dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I don't know why teens are sad, depressed, and anxious but we have definitely seen a big uptick over the past five years where I work. I think meaningful interests, a developmentally appropriate amount of responsibility, training in some basic CBT/DBT techniques, and a lot of love and positive feedback in a least one but hopefully multiple areas of life (home, school, extracurriculars, friends, faith group), all those things help a lot.

“Bigger bodies” are unhealthy and will indeed hold these children back in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

? no one is saying a girl should go out and bike alone. We are talking about socializing face to face.

Obviously, the pandemic made it harder, and so maybe some kids are still suffering from a lack of social interaction, but even before covid, so many kids only connected online. My 16 yr old was like this in MS. Once DS started to blossom and feel comfortable in his own skin, he started to really enjoy being with his friends, and not just on discord. In hindsight, I should have pushed DS to do more activities to help nurture his social skills. He's doing really really well now, but MS period was hard socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

They're having less sex, that definitely would have made 17 year old me sadder