Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think parental substance abuse isn’t talked about nearly enough. It seems so pervasive though: from alcohol to pot to opioids.

Plenty of people and parents comment on some of these threads saying smoking pot is fine and frequently do so. It’s crazy.

I completely agree. They also absolutely refuse to recognize that pot is a gateway drug. It is crazy.

Yes! Gateway to heaven!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

Insanity. I’ve been walking/running/biking alone since I was 12 years old, and my teenage daughter does the same. Set them free!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

Insanity. I’ve been walking/running/biking alone since I was 12 years old, and my teenage daughter does the same. Set them free!

My dd does that too, but with some parameters about place and time. It's ultimately never safe for a girl/woman alone to do this which is messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

Insanity. I’ve been walking/running/biking alone since I was 12 years old, and my teenage daughter does the same. Set them free!

My dd does that too, but with some parameters about place and time. It's ultimately never safe for a girl/woman alone to do this which is messed up.

There are plenty of times and places I wouldn’t have my teenage son walking alone either. That just common sense. Doesn’t mean they need constant monitoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is just too much pressure on them, they're overscheduled and all the screens and social media aren't helping.

So, no activities, then what. More social media?

I'm pretty sure that I never said no activities, just no to overscheduling them. And they shouldn't have social media anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

Agree. Sadly women will always be targets and it's just a different reality to be a woman than to be a man.
I would need more than my fingers and toes to count the scary encounters I've had over the years (I'm middle aged now), including sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

It never was and never will be

Insanity. I’ve been walking/running/biking alone since I was 12 years old, and my teenage daughter does the same. Set them free!

My dd does that too, but with some parameters about place and time. It's ultimately never safe for a girl/woman alone to do this which is messed up.

There are plenty of times and places I wouldn’t have my teenage son walking alone either. That just common sense. Doesn’t mean they need constant monitoring.

I have boy/girl twins...It is entirely different for boys, 100%. Yes, both of them have great freedom of movement, both drive and are fairly independent. There is more to worry about for a girl, always.

[Anonymous]

A big part of the problem is the lack of confidence and anxiety that is exacerbated by parents who are afraid to let their kids make mistakes. Kids need to do things on their own in order to realize that they care capable and competent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big part of the problem is the lack of confidence and anxiety that is exacerbated by parents who are afraid to let their kids make mistakes. Kids need to do things on their own in order to realize that they care capable and competent.

I agree, but it's also a difficult situation: not taking X amount of APs means not getting into certain colleges, if you don't do the right sport, if you don't get As...It used to be so much easier to get into a good college. It's very hard as a parent to find the right balance of expectations v. pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big part of the problem is the lack of confidence and anxiety that is exacerbated by parents who are afraid to let their kids make mistakes. Kids need to do things on their own in order to realize that they care capable and competent.

I agree, but it's also a difficult situation: not taking X amount of APs means not getting into certain colleges, if you don't do the right sport, if you don't get As...It used to be so much easier to get into a good college. It's very hard as a parent to find the right balance of expectations v. pressure.

Boy we are dealing with this right now. And it is so, so hard.

Kid had multiple offers to play sport in college. D1 (prestigious school that is $$$$$$$$$$$ and lots of intense kids) vs. D3 (place that most on here would not send their kids but would play and probably do well academically, and the vibe is very down to earth). I think leaning toward the second and it's hard for us, as parents, to give up the rigorous D1 that they've worked hard to achieve. But, in the end we've vowed it to be DC's decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big part of the problem is the lack of confidence and anxiety that is exacerbated by parents who are afraid to let their kids make mistakes. Kids need to do things on their own in order to realize that they care capable and competent.

I agree, but it's also a difficult situation: not taking X amount of APs means not getting into certain colleges, if you don't do the right sport, if you don't get As...It used to be so much easier to get into a good college. It's very hard as a parent to find the right balance of expectations v. pressure.

Boy we are dealing with this right now. And it is so, so hard.

Kid had multiple offers to play sport in college. D1 (prestigious school that is $$$$$$$$$$$ and lots of intense kids) vs. D3 (place that most on here would not send their kids but would play and probably do well academically, and the vibe is very down to earth). I think leaning toward the second and it's hard for us, as parents, to give up the rigorous D1 that they've worked hard to achieve. But, in the end we've vowed it to be DC's decision.

Yes, it feels like such momentous decisions, I am not sure how people don't feel some degree of anxiety over it all! That being said it sounds like the D3 is a great option!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet dating & sex are down also because weight is so far up. I know there is (thankfully) so many more sizes and body types depicted in the media but there’s still such a stigma to dating overweight people.

It adds to the loneliness.

Don’t blame it on stigma. I’m just not attracted to overweight and don’t see why younger people should be. As a middle aged person I couldn’t care less what someone thought of me if I dated an obese person, but I’m just not turned on. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC and the main cause of my unhappiness was parental involvement. They wouldn’t leave me alone. My mom was a SAHM who made parenting me her main job and focus in life. It was crushing and I feel as though I was practically harassed. Completely unhealthy and only possible because of wealth and time that allowed her to focus so much on unimportant details of a child’s life.

I live in an affluent community and notice the same thing going on. I’m probably considered a bad mom because I don’t belong to the PTA and go away for the weekend without kids.

I feel this