Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

Up-thread, several people have pointed out one huge reason it’s less safe for females to be outside walking around or bike riding in public: it’s because of all the incels out there.

It’s more and more common every day now.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that boys are predators?

Incels because girls have become more “unkind,” less gracious, conceited, wannabes. Doesn’t help they prance around with barely any clothes on- crop tops, super short skirts, shorts. Ass and crotch revealing leggings. What’s the name for girls/women hating women groups? There’s that too. Depression out there, yes. Add anger and the need for anger management to the top of the list.

This is factually incorrect. Violent victimizations per 100 people have fallen from 747 in 1993 to 381 in 2022 according to Pew and the FBI. Your perception is a perception. In fact, young men have become much shyer and less likely to approach women at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

But most teens in previous generations were out and socializing and forming friendship and relationships in person. And yes, there was sex and maybe you don't want that but it is 10x healthier than all the porn, nudes, videos, etc.. that are happening on their phone that you are clueless about.

I will add that kids that are bullied are now bullied 24/7 and also to a larger gathering of teens know about the bullying thanks to phones. There is no break when they get home from school and it can spread all everywhere

[Anonymous]

I think it is mostly the lack of in person socialization. My son rarely sees friends outside of organized activities, and he is a high school junior. It's all video games while on the phone with classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who claim that kids are better prepared / smarter than previous generations; this is incorrect. I hire a new class of 22 year-olds each year and have for 30 years. Intelligence, work ethic, and executive function have been declining since about 2015. The article's author is right about the factors noted, but there is a mega trend that underlies everything: the professional jobs that we were all taught would lead to success and happiness are drying up, so more and more kids are being "trained" for a world that doesn't exist. Ironically, we are inculcating fragility in our kids in order to make them super PMCs (professional managerial class)--but they will find very actual jobs open to them.

I agree with this and I will also add that most young adults and teens lack grit and perseverance. I mean many of us now do too. Computer, phones, AI, ChatGPT have taught kids there is instant gratification. But parents have also made this worse. They fight teachers for grades instead of holding their kid responsible. Move their kids off sports teams so easily, sometimes mid season. They get paid help in work teens used to do at home (Jiffy lube, lawn services, car washes, power washers, and sometimes even housekeeping. Kids and teens have a much easier life. I mean look at DCUM. There are parents looking for babysitters of TEENS who should be babysitting. We coddle and baby them but hand them a phone with a screen to stare at for the average 8-10hours a day (per many poles) If you step back and think about it, a lot of this is our fault. I mean look at the parents fighting about taking phones out of school. How stupid are we? They should have never ever been inside schools. But here we are.

[Anonymous]

I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

Look up the Harvard study on chores. For some reason we think over helping our kids will make them less stressed and happier and it hasn't. We just took away things that made them feel empowered (chores, autonomy, responsibility) and shoved travel sports and SAT prep classes in their faces instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

Look up the Harvard study on chores. For some reason we think over helping our kids will make them less stressed and happier and it hasn't. We just took away things that made them feel empowered (chores, autonomy, responsibility) and shoved travel sports and SAT prep classes in their faces instead.

I don’t think chores moves the needle much. Rather, it’s any anger, disappointment, sadness, grief, struggle our kids face we feel we need fix it by medicating them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Why would you prefer they didn’t date in HS, PP? Just curious.

NP.. it's a distraction, and for some teens, especially girls, it becomes their whole world. I've seen teenagers get so wrapped up in their BF/GF relationships that everything else falls by wayside. Most teens are emotionally (and mentally) too immature to handle a serious relationship.

My 16 yr old boy is dating, but, it's not too serious. The girl actually puts a lot of boundaries in their relationship. They see each other mostly in school, and not outside of school. I think they went out by themselves a total of 3x in the past six months. They are both serious students -- ie straight As, high SAT scores.

I could totally see my son getting wrapped up in her if she didn't put those boundaries in place.

I also have a younger teen girl, and I've told her that I do not want her to get into a serious relationship in HS. She can "date" in HS, but not seriously.

I have more than 1 set of friends who started dating in high school.

They married after college and are celebrating 40 year anniversaries.

We are hobbling this generation. No wonder they are so unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

Look up the Harvard study on chores. For some reason we think over helping our kids will make them less stressed and happier and it hasn't. We just took away things that made them feel empowered (chores, autonomy, responsibility) and shoved travel sports and SAT prep classes in their faces instead.

I don’t think chores moves the needle much. Rather, it’s any anger, disappointment, sadness, grief, struggle our kids face we feel we need fix it by medicating them

I disagree. It isn't so much that doing chores is the solution. It's what the chores mean. They mean that the child belongs to and has an important place in a family. It means that their family members count of them to do their part. It means that they can accomplish tasks independently. It means that as they grow older, they have more responsibilities. In this DCUMs bubble, parents take these things away and instead, children are carted around here, there, and everywhere in the pursuit of.......? Getting into a good college? Looking good so their parents can brag about them? Keeping them busy so they won't do bad things? Having them not feel left out since all of the other kids do these activities. Remove chores in place of this endless pursuit of nothing. That's why these kids feel depressed and anxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

Yes, this is an illustration of how factor 4–Modern Parenting Strategies—applies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

Look up the Harvard study on chores. For some reason we think over helping our kids will make them less stressed and happier and it hasn't. We just took away things that made them feel empowered (chores, autonomy, responsibility) and shoved travel sports and SAT prep classes in their faces instead.

I don’t think chores moves the needle much. Rather, it’s any anger, disappointment, sadness, grief, struggle our kids face we feel we need fix it by medicating them

I also think the lack of freedom given to kids and teens is making them lack confidence while also being bored. When I was a kid I ran around with my friends and went to parks with “dangerous” slides and equipment. It was thrilling, we figured out how to resolve any issues…now kids have adult eyes on them until the teen years (and phone surveillance after that) and spaces made for kids are “safe” first before they are interesting. This has truly caused a lot of damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This generation of parents is to blame.

Too much pressure, too much coddling. It's a twisted mix.

Exactly this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree it is screens, lazy parents, and over accommodating every discomfort. The amount of teens on anxiety meds, SSRIs, and receiving regular therapy sessions is astounding. They don’t even have real problems yet

Look up the Harvard study on chores. For some reason we think over helping our kids will make them less stressed and happier and it hasn't. We just took away things that made them feel empowered (chores, autonomy, responsibility) and shoved travel sports and SAT prep classes in their faces instead.

Exactly

The Race To Nowhere is a great documentary. Taking away all the obstacles that make kids learn autonomy and independence and push them and make them mini robots to brag about. But medicate their depression and anxiety quietly with electronics and meds.

Parents just don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

Up-thread, several people have pointed out one huge reason it’s less safe for females to be outside walking around or bike riding in public: it’s because of all the incels out there.

It’s more and more common every day now.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that boys are predators?

Incels because girls have become more “unkind,” less gracious, conceited, wannabes. Doesn’t help they prance around with barely any clothes on- crop tops, super short skirts, shorts. Ass and crotch revealing leggings. What’s the name for girls/women hating women groups? There’s that too. Depression out there, yes. Add anger and the need for anger management to the top of the list.

This is factually incorrect. Violent victimizations per 100 people have fallen from 747 in 1993 to 381 in 2022 according to Pew and the FBI. Your perception is a perception. In fact, young men have become much shyer and less likely to approach women at all.

You need to open your eyes to how common these dangerous incels really are.

Watch the show Adolescence on Netflix to learn the facts about them in 2025.