Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sunshine. Lack of physical labor/chores.

Yeah, my neighbor has 2 big boys at private who play football but they hire out company to mow their small yard.

This. Lack of responsibility for anything other than themselves, if even that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Don't do this. You want your child's first experiences dating to be in your home, under your watch. My parents didn't let me date and I got to college fairly clueless about relationships and dating and how to navigate them and all the freedom that comes with college. I think if I had been able to test the waters in a controlled and safe environment while at home with my parents who could also guide me, I would have been better prepared for or might even have avoided some of the emotional and other situations I encountered in college.

I didn’t date at all in high school or college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of everything discussed and listed, imo as someone who works with high risk kids, it is this:

4. Modern parenting strategies

The #s 1, 2 and 3 of your list (the use of social media, the lack of socialization, and the inability of kids to flex) all comes down to poor parenting. Modern parents aren't modeling these behaviors the way they should.

Can you elaborate though? Because the main complaint I hear about modern parenting strategies is that it’s too involved, too child focused, too many activities, to many restrictions, etc. That parents are too involved, make things too easy, etc. But the other stuff on this list pretty much requires a highly involved approach. You are not restricting social media, getting your kids socializing more, if you aren’t highly involved. The societal pressure on kids is intense so I think many parents step in to try to create a buffer and allow their kids to have more of an extended childhood, but then get accused of coddling.

I think it’s really hard to parent right now, but especially teens. I also feel like the DMV feels like an especially bad environment for it. We’re looking at moving somewhere more rural possibly because it might enable a more safe and relaxed teenagerhood. But we don’t want them isolated. I just don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Don't do this. You want your child's first experiences dating to be in your home, under your watch. My parents didn't let me date and I got to college fairly clueless about relationships and dating and how to navigate them and all the freedom that comes with college. I think if I had been able to test the waters in a controlled and safe environment while at home with my parents who could also guide me, I would have been better prepared for or might even have avoided some of the emotional and other situations I encountered in college.

I didn’t date at all in high school or college.

I didn't either. I had two friends who began dating seniors our freshman year and it was just constant drama. Another friend disappeared the minute she started dating someone new. I decided early on I didn't feel like dating anyone seriously in high school. That's not to say I didn't do all the usual flirting, does he like me, casual dates, but nothing serious and I didn't have sex. It was way less stressful than what my friends were doing.

[Anonymous]

Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Gay teens do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Gay teens do?

Because gay teens can’t believe in Jesus or want to go to church?

There are plenty of churches that welcome everyone and don’t believe that Jesus and church is based on excluding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article makes sense but ugggh - it is so complicated parenting teens now.

Why American Teens Are So Sad
Four forces are propelling the rising rates of depression among young people by Derek Thompson
https://apple.news/ALWQH2XNvRd6MtUUBGrZKVw
Article discusses various fallacies such as teens behaving badly. In fact, lots of self-reported teen behaviors are moving in a positive direction. Since the 1990s, drinking-and-driving is down almost 50 percent. School fights are down 50 percent. Sex before 13 is down more than 70 percent. School bullying is down. And LGBTQ acceptance is up.

>>> Here are four inter dynamic forces propelling the increase in teen/ youth sadness.

1. Social-media use is pervasive

2. Sociality is down since pandemic

3. The world is stressful—and there is more news about the world’s stressors

4. Modern parenting strategies

Eg High-income parents in particular are spending much more time preparing their kids for a competitive college admissions process.

Eg Over accommodating every discomfort.

Widespread Parental substance abuse - One study found that a sixth of the increase in teen suicides was associated with parental opioid addiction.

….. the author concludes

“The truth is I’m not satisfied by any of the above explanations, on their own. But I see no reason to keep them alone. They interact, amplify, and compound. And together they paint a powerful picture.”

I think number 4 is a big one in this area. So much pressure. Kids feel like they can’t fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

Yes, I concur. My kids are spending much less time face-time with friends. My older kid does make weekend plans, but my other one does not (despite having friends!).

It is lonely!

Totally agree and this is hard to overcome. It's also "easier" in the short term as a parent to know your kid is home and physically safe chatting online with friends rather than out without your supervision. But to me, that's short sighted and will lead to other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

Yes, I concur. My kids are spending much less time face-time with friends. My older kid does make weekend plans, but my other one does not (despite having friends!).

It is lonely!

Totally agree and this is hard to overcome. It's also "easier" in the short term as a parent to know your kid is home and physically safe chatting online with friends rather than out without your supervision. But to me, that's short sighted and will lead to other issues.

I think that the loss of socialization was becoming a problem before the pandemic, but now it is a crisis. I'm not sure that it is a preference for online communication or social media that caused the problem. However, the ever-looming danger of being humiliated through social media makes normal in-person relationships that much more intimidating.

[Anonymous]

The teens in the DMV were the most anxious/depressed, social maladjusted kids I've ever met, and I've lived around the country. My teen said they were the only one of their friends there not on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. It's the DMV culture -- home, parenting, schools. Something is rotten in the water there. It's bad juju.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

Yeah we are atheists. I was raised Christian though and don’t think church stopped any issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teens in the DMV were the most anxious/depressed, social maladjusted kids I've ever met, and I've lived around the country. My teen said they were the only one of their friends there not on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. It's the DMV culture -- home, parenting, schools. Something is rotten in the water there. It's bad juju.

Other areas have their own set of issues. Maybe not the academic pressure but other things-sports focused, less tolerance of other views. Pick your poison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The teens in the DMV were the most anxious/depressed, social maladjusted kids I've ever met, and I've lived around the country. My teen said they were the only one of their friends there not on some sort of anti-anxiety medication. It's the DMV culture -- home, parenting, schools. Something is rotten in the water there. It's bad juju.

Other areas have their own set of issues. Maybe not the academic pressure but other things-sports focused, less tolerance of other views. Pick your poison.

+1
Add No diversity in some areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens need a relationship with Jesus and get connected to a church.

He’s taken.