Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC and the main cause of my unhappiness was parental involvement. They wouldn’t leave me alone. My mom was a SAHM who made parenting me her main job and focus in life. It was crushing and I feel as though I was practically harassed. Completely unhealthy and only possible because of wealth and time that allowed her to focus so much on unimportant details of a child’s life.

I live in an affluent community and notice the same thing going on. I’m probably considered a bad mom because I don’t belong to the PTA and go away for the weekend without kids.

I feel this

These kids look more successful though. I am very much not a type A mom, but I do feel some anxiety seeing the kids who are pushed more achieve more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

Up-thread, several people have pointed out one huge reason it’s less safe for females to be outside walking around or bike riding in public: it’s because of all the incels out there.

It’s more and more common every day now.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that boys are predators?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

This exactly! Also kids aren't allowed to just be kids anymore

yea, my 16 yr old DS would much rather be out with friends than playing video games, but so many teens would rather stay home and play video games. Hello, future incel in the making.

My 13 yr old DD and I chat a lot about instagram, social media, and how fake they are, kind of like how before social media, girls had to be aware that all of those pictures of models were heavily airbrushed.

IMO, kids who are more engaged socially with other kids, do fun activities outside of the home, and have a good relationship with their parents are those who are better adjusted. It can't be all work, and no play. And I say this as a parent of a magnet student.

Yeah I think this is what I don't understand about screens is why kids now prefer them over being with friends in a person. Don't get me wrong, video games are fun, I played them, but I wouldn't say I preferred them. Growing up, you couldn't keep me inside.

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

Up-thread, several people have pointed out one huge reason it’s less safe for females to be outside walking around or bike riding in public: it’s because of all the incels out there.

It’s more and more common every day now.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that boys are predators?

This is dumb. The incels are sitting at home trolling people on X and playing video games, not harassing girls out for a bike ride. I have no concerns about my teen girl out walking or bike riding in public.

[Anonymous]

Bullying is still happening in elementary and middle school. Takes the form of cruel exclusion. Social media and texting just enables it. My older daughter end through it, and now my younger one is. It’s painful to watch.

[Anonymous]

Parents spoiling kids, indulging them with expensive sneakers, jewelry etc., giving into their every whim. Parents think they are making their kids happy, they don’t realize that “happy” moment is only ‘that’ moment but feeds into a never ending of “gimmee” material fulfillment. Have and have not depression element.

[Anonymous]

I think that the loss of socialization was becoming a problem before the pandemic, but now it is a crisis. I'm not sure that it is a preference for online communication or social media that caused the problem. However, the ever-looming danger of being humiliated through social media makes normal in-person relationships that much more intimidating.



Kids are more accepting to being negative and to spreading negativity now in general. They are use to it and they think it’s normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Society has always had serious issues. Most people are self absorbed and not putting the time into their kids. Look at how most are handling the pandemic. We live in a me culture and not a we culture.

This is sadly true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

+1

[Anonymous]

1. Permissive and absent parenting leaves kids without family closeness.

2. Social media. Just plain bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Head over to the college forum…pressure in this area is ridiculous. Parents freaking out and giving kids the message that they have to attend prestigious schools. And it starts before high school. My kid is in AAP and talks about how her classmates’ parents tell them they have to get into Algebra by 7th, they need to go to a magnet school. One of her friends is fretting over college in 6th grade! This area is intense. And even if you don’t buy into it as a parent, kids pick it up from peers.

This is why I don’t hang out with other parents at school nor my kid’s friend’s parents.

I had kids last in my group of friends, it’s ‘safer’ and a friendlier interaction to hang out with them. Plus I get good parenting tips and they help me with parenting issues. To think it use to bother me to be the last in my group, not any more. They can’t believe how things have gotten worse and “unmanageable.”

[Anonymous]

The reality is that is not safe any more for young women to go outside and run/bike alone.

It has not gotten less safe for females to be outside walking or bike riding. When was it safe? Not in the 90s when I loved to walk alone and bike alone. The predators were out in the high crime 1990s. It's much safer now although safety is never guaranteed.

Up-thread, several people have pointed out one huge reason it’s less safe for females to be outside walking around or bike riding in public: it’s because of all the incels out there.

It’s more and more common every day now.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that boys are predators?

Incels because girls have become more “unkind,” less gracious, conceited, wannabes. Doesn’t help they prance around with barely any clothes on- crop tops, super short skirts, shorts. Ass and crotch revealing leggings. What’s the name for girls/women hating women groups? There’s that too. Depression out there, yes. Add anger and the need for anger management to the top of the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Permissive and absent parenting leaves kids without family closeness.

2. Social media. Just plain bad.

Social media is absolutely toxic and it leads to depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parental substance abuse isn’t talked about nearly enough. It seems so pervasive though: from alcohol to pot to opioids.

In the 20th century it was rare to find a sober mother. We were raised by valium.

[Anonymous]

3 YEARS OLD ZOMBIE THREAD

[Anonymous]

For those who claim that kids are better prepared / smarter than previous generations; this is incorrect. I hire a new class of 22 year-olds each year and have for 30 years. Intelligence, work ethic, and executive function have been declining since about 2015. The article's author is right about the factors noted, but there is a mega trend that underlies everything: the professional jobs that we were all taught would lead to success and happiness are drying up, so more and more kids are being "trained" for a world that doesn't exist. Ironically, we are inculcating fragility in our kids in order to make them super PMCs (professional managerial class)--but they will find very actual jobs open to them.