Why American teens are so sad - four main takeaways

[Anonymous]

For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parental substance abuse isn’t talked about nearly enough. It seems so pervasive though: from alcohol to pot to opioids.

Will be interested to see the rates over time as we exit the pandemic. Lots of increased alcohol intake during the pandemic but at the same time people were cut off from treatment programs, group therapy etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

Decreased sex drive is also a side effect for a lot of antidepressant and other medications that have been increasingly prescribed for teens.

I absolutely do not want my underage children having sex at all, so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

Decreased sex drive is also a side effect for a lot of antidepressant and other medications that have been increasingly prescribed for teens.

I absolutely do not want my underage children having sex at all, so good.

What parent does? But its also part of normal, healthy development for teens to have romantic relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This article makes sense but ugggh - it is so complicated parenting teens now.

Why American Teens Are So Sad
Four forces are propelling the rising rates of depression among young people by Derek Thompson
https://apple.news/ALWQH2XNvRd6MtUUBGrZKVw
Article discusses various fallacies such as teens behaving badly. In fact, lots of self-reported teen behaviors are moving in a positive direction. Since the 1990s, drinking-and-driving is down almost 50 percent. School fights are down 50 percent. Sex before 13 is down more than 70 percent. School bullying is down. And LGBTQ acceptance is up.

>>> Here are four inter dynamic forces propelling the increase in teen/ youth sadness.

1. Social-media use is pervasive

2. Sociality is down since pandemic

3. The world is stressful—and there is more news about the world’s stressors

4. Modern parenting strategies

Eg High-income parents in particular are spending much more time preparing their kids for a competitive college admissions process.

Eg Over accommodating every discomfort.

Widespread Parental substance abuse - One study found that a sixth of the increase in teen suicides was associated with parental opioid addiction.

….. the author concludes

“The truth is I’m not satisfied by any of the above explanations, on their own. But I see no reason to keep them alone. They interact, amplify, and compound. And together they paint a powerful picture.”

Screens and school/grade pressure...at least for us. We put our foot down and set a hard limit on screen time and have made school expectations clear (but backed off the pressure).

DS15 is p*ssed about the screens because he says all of his friends get pretty much unlimited screen once their homework is done and their grades are high (I believe it). Also, more goes on with screens than parents realize. They think "my kid is so sweet and innocent, etc." - I thought that too until my DS told me what really gets said on social media (Discord, etc).

Could you specify what screen time limits you place? My kid never cared too much for his phone until this year. He objects to screen time limits and says he has all As. Just to trying to find a middle ground here.

pp here-- no laptop/gaming during the school week. I allow DS to have some social media during the week (30-45 minutes a day) so he can stay in touch with friends outside of school. 2 hours laptop/gaming on Sat-Sun once homework and other things (piano practice, exercise, etc) are done. I don't limit television. I have controls over the phone (from my phone) and I confiscate the laptop once screen limits are reached.

My DS was showing signs of screen addiction and/or using screen to escape pressure/real life, so we really had to start limiting. It was hard- lots of arguing and battles, but he's been branching back into enjoying music, playing chess, getting more physical activity. Every kid is different with screen consumption, but his friends also spend *a lot* of time on social media and gaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parental substance abuse isn’t talked about nearly enough. It seems so pervasive though: from alcohol to pot to opioids.

Plenty of people and parents comment on some of these threads saying smoking pot is fine and frequently do so. It’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Lack of sunshine. Lack of physical labor/chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sunshine. Lack of physical labor/chores.

Yeah, my neighbor has 2 big boys at private who play football but they hire out company to mow their small yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of sunshine. Lack of physical labor/chores.

Yeah, my neighbor has 2 big boys at private who play football but they hire out company to mow their small yard.

Okay this is a weird thing to judge. Such specificity, and yet so useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Why would you prefer they didn’t date in HS, PP? Just curious.

DP

I feel the same. Would prefer my kid does not date in HS. Have told the kids that, but like the PP, we’ll take it on a case by case basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us it's clear that there is much, much, much less face to face interaction with other kids. My son, in high school, goes out with friends every once in a while. Mostly, though, his friends are happy enough to stay home and play PS4 virtually with each other. When he does go out, it's usually disappointing because other people he wants to see have decided to stay home and play video games. My Middle School daughter - when she sees her friends, they are generally comparing Instagrams or chatting with other people online while hanging out. We used to wander the neighborhoods looking for other people to hang out with and then we would actually talk and play games and whatever.

Yes, I concur. My kids are spending much less time face-time with friends. My older kid does make weekend plans, but my other one does not (despite having friends!).

It is lonely!

[Anonymous]

Of everything discussed and listed, imo as someone who works with high risk kids, it is this:

4. Modern parenting strategies

The #s 1, 2 and 3 of your list (the use of social media, the lack of socialization, and the inability of kids to flex) all comes down to poor parenting. Modern parents aren't modeling these behaviors the way they should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, the teen birth rate is at a record low, re: teens moving in a positive direction.

Hmm also likely means less sex and relationships which may be contributing to sadness

By relationships do you only mean dating? I personally prefer that my child not date or be sexually active as a teen. I can’t prevent it of course, but I would prefer that.

No dating at all?

I said “prefer.” Of course they will likely date and I won’t be a roadblock to that. But I’d still prefer if they didn’t in high school.

Don't do this. You want your child's first experiences dating to be in your home, under your watch. My parents didn't let me date and I got to college fairly clueless about relationships and dating and how to navigate them and all the freedom that comes with college. I think if I had been able to test the waters in a controlled and safe environment while at home with my parents who could also guide me, I would have been better prepared for or might even have avoided some of the emotional and other situations I encountered in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think parental substance abuse isn’t talked about nearly enough. It seems so pervasive though: from alcohol to pot to opioids.

Plenty of people and parents comment on some of these threads saying smoking pot is fine and frequently do so. It’s crazy.

I completely agree. They also absolutely refuse to recognize that pot is a gateway drug. It is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No spirituality

+1000