How to handle birthday gifts? Tacky to ask ‘no gifts’?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

You don’t discuss gifts and leave it to the parent. Just decline. You can got to below five and get a few gifts to keep in the house. Cheaper than your fancy coffee

[Anonymous]

OP here - we’ll this is interesting. Wasn’t expecting such a response. We got a lot of ‘no gift’ proponents at the beginning with a few don’t mention its. I will say if we do a playground party we will go the no gift route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - we’ll this is interesting. Wasn’t expecting such a response. We got a lot of ‘no gift’ proponents at the beginning with a few don’t mention its. I will say if we do a playground party we will go the no gift route.

Basically everyone said “no gift” is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

So only the rich kids whose parents can afford an entertainer or hire out a venue should get presents? How about making this not about you and just decline invitations to the types of parties that don't meet your definition of fun for a 6yo?

You really think all the parents on DCUM doing the cheap-assed playground parties are poor? Get real. They’re cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

Agree. I hate playground parties but it’s adding insult to injury when the “host” doesn’t insist on “no gifts, please”.

[Anonymous]

Wow I’m really surprised by these responses. I’m MC and live in a MC suburb and have been to many birthday parties; some at venues and some at homes or playgrounds. I have truly never judged people for hosting a party at a park or playground and, unless the invite says no gifts, I take joy in bringing a gift the child will enjoy.

The point of a children’s birthday party isn’t to get your moneys worth or even enjoy it if you really insist on being miserable. The point is to celebrate the child and for the kids to have fun. Is this attitude a stingy rich person thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I’m really surprised by these responses. I’m MC and live in a MC suburb and have been to many birthday parties; some at venues and some at homes or playgrounds. I have truly never judged people for hosting a party at a park or playground and, unless the invite says no gifts, I take joy in bringing a gift the child will enjoy.

The point of a children’s birthday party isn’t to get your moneys worth or even enjoy it if you really insist on being miserable. The point is to celebrate the child and for the kids to have fun. Is this attitude a stingy rich person thing?

YES! It definitely is entitled parents raising entitled children that see life events as a transaction rather than a celebration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

Agree. I hate playground parties but it’s adding insult to injury when the “host” doesn’t insist on “no gifts, please”.

Gifts are fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I’m really surprised by these responses. I’m MC and live in a MC suburb and have been to many birthday parties; some at venues and some at homes or playgrounds. I have truly never judged people for hosting a party at a park or playground and, unless the invite says no gifts, I take joy in bringing a gift the child will enjoy.

The point of a children’s birthday party isn’t to get your moneys worth or even enjoy it if you really insist on being miserable. The point is to celebrate the child and for the kids to have fun. Is this attitude a stingy rich person thing?

YES! It definitely is entitled parents raising entitled children that see life events as a transaction rather than a celebration.

+2. Posters characterizing a child celebrating their birthday with friends as a “gift grab” are self centered jerks.

[Anonymous]

Most of the parties especially during COVID have been playground parties. The kids love it. I spent $400 bucks on my kids’ party but I don’t even blink an eye about a playground party. My kids LOVE them.

DCUM is not real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

Agree. I hate playground parties but it’s adding insult to injury when the “host” doesn’t insist on “no gifts, please”.

In all honesty, most people feel this way. All parties should be no gift but absolutely playground parties should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the parties especially during COVID have been playground parties. The kids love it. I spent $400 bucks on my kids’ party but I don’t even blink an eye about a playground party. My kids LOVE them.

DCUM is not real life.

My kid goes to the playground several times a week and we usually pack mini muffins for a snack. For my kid a playground party is basically a usual playground trip plus icing.

[Anonymous]

Everyone at our preschool has “no gift” parties - playground or home or rented space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the parties especially during COVID have been playground parties. The kids love it. I spent $400 bucks on my kids’ party but I don’t even blink an eye about a playground party. My kids LOVE them.

DCUM is not real life.

Agreed. This weird tit for tat entitled attitude from some posters is not something I can relate to. I’m no saint and I gossip with mom friends but no one has ever expressed frustration at spending $20 on a kids gift because the party wasn’t up to their standards. It’s a kids party, it’s not about you!

[Anonymous]

It’s good and preferable to make any party a No Gift party. Everyone appreciates it. My kids have lots of toys and probably two hundred plus books. There’s so much waste in kids’ toy packaging, too.

And for the record, we do full-out parties with entertainment and meals for both kids and parents. We still don’t want gifts.