How to handle birthday gifts? Tacky to ask ‘no gifts’?
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Anonymous
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We have our kids birthday coming up. They’re under 5. Because of covid etc this is the first party - first time they have preschool buddies etc. We are looking forward to celebrating with other families. But I also do not want more plastic stuff in the house. We’re pretty minimal with toys and I spend a good amount of time sorting little pieces of plastic because I hate when everything is just tossed together in a bin - they get overwhelmed and just dump
More stuff. So the thought of more toys that we did not select and more mess gives me the hives. Thoughts on asking ‘no gifts’? Emily Post says it’s tacky because you’re still placing an onus on the gifts. We bring gifts to other parties and it would make me sad if we took that away from child, though I don’t know they’re expecting stuff per se. What do you do? |
Anonymous
| Just say no gifts. DD is going to a friend’s 6th birthday tomorrow and they put “no gifts please” on the invitation. It’s totally fine. |
Anonymous
| I appreciate your sentiments op, and I'm right there with you but people will bring gifts anyway. |
Anonymous
PP here. We always follow what the invitation says, regarding gifts. |
Anonymous
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“No gifts please” is standard and totally acceptable. Etiquette evolves. Don’t listen to the inevitable dinosaurs come on here and tell you it’s tacky.
90% of the parties my kids go to say no gifts. Elementary and preschool. |
Anonymous
Ditto to all of this |
Anonymous
+1 Someone will still bring a gift but at least he won’t have as many to deal with. |
Anonymous
| Just recently went to a No gift preschool party. The host sent a chat saying no gifts rather than including it in the information. I was totally unoffended and grateful for the guidance since this is our first party and I really don’t know what the norm is. I bought a card just in case since that’s emphemeral anyway. Go ahead and just say No gifts, please, OP. |
Anonymous
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Did our first "no gifts please" for our 4 year old son recently. A couple of people brought them anyway because they felt uncomfortable. A couple of people had their kids make cards (which was super cute and a great idea). One of the moms even said "the moms aren't very comfortable with the no gift thing!" but said so in jest (she showed up with a bottle of wine).
Just do what you want, life is too short to worry over this trivial stuff IMO. |
Anonymous
| Write cards are appreciated in lieu of gifts. If they want to give a gift you’re more likely to get cash or gift cards |
Anonymous
Agreed. 50% of kids bring a hand written card and 50% bring literally nothing and they are both great! |
Anonymous
| What about saying no gifts please!l. If you mist please bring your favorite book / art supply / some other specific thing family wants? |
Anonymous
I get the sentiment but then it places a burden on the parents who feel like they must give a gift but would rather pull from a gift stash or buy something their kid enjoys but now has to go book-shopping, etc. |
Anonymous
+2 I know "technically" it's tacky, but sheesh, anyone who would take OFFENSE to being asked not to bring a gift to a kids party is a much bigger dolt than someone who asks you not to bring one. |
Anonymous
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For my DS first birthday, we asked that in lieu of gifts, family and friends bring a small item for his time capsule. We got very cool, interesting items: the Washington Post from the day he was born, current magazines and other ephemera. Put all in a small archival box.
Went to another bday party where the child collected pet care supplies on behalf of the animal shelter. My DC loved buying for this! |