How to handle birthday gifts? Tacky to ask ‘no gifts’?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Ugh. Tiresome gift grabs with no sense of imagination or taste.

NP here and wow, you sound snobby and unkind. The playground parties are so fun for kids, especially active ones ages 6 and under. I find it refreshing to go to low-key and laid back parties, instead of the elaborate, expensive ones that are common in this HCL area. If you want to treat children's birthday parties as transactional, then go to the dollar store and buy some new art supplies for the child. Yikes, I can't believe there are people who actually think this way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Ugh. Tiresome gift grabs with no sense of imagination or taste.

+1. I do agree. I resent being expected to shell out $20 for a gift and wrap it for two hours at the same playground we go to every week but with cold pizza and a tiny cupcake. The parties are fine as long as “no gift” is clearly requested.

But did your kid, or, more importantly, the birthday kid, have fun? Or is a birthday party actually about something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Ugh. Tiresome gift grabs with no sense of imagination or taste.

Maybe the family is not well off? Get off your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Because it’s an anonymous forum, I can be honest. I resent having to bring a gift to a playground party too. It’s just wrong and feels like a gift grab. There’s nothing wrong with pizza and cupcakes at the playground but please specify no gifts.

[Anonymous]

I was planning to take the kids bowling but my son (turning 7) is begging for a playground party just like last year. He wants sub sandwiches and cake. It didn't occur to me that I should request no gifts due to the cheapness of the party but you've all given me something to think about....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s an anonymous forum, I can be honest. I resent having to bring a gift to a playground party too. It’s just wrong and feels like a gift grab. There’s nothing wrong with pizza and cupcakes at the playground but please specify no gifts.

Yeah, I agree. Please make playground parties “no gift” parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

JUST MAKE IT “NO GIFT”! You, the host, put no effort into your child’s party but you think your guests should?!

[Anonymous]

We would ask guests to bring an unwrapped book for a book exchange in lieu of a gift. Had a basket set out for the books and kids took one as they left. I stocked basket with some extra books as well for siblings, etc. Everyone seemed to like this idea and it definitely cut down on the excess toys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

JUST MAKE IT “NO GIFT”! You, the host, put no effort into your child’s party but you think your guests should?!

[Anonymous]

It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not about the cheapness of the host or the time it takes to put the party together. It’s that small kids get joy out of opening presents! It’s exciting! Doesn’t have to be expensive or big — even a small silly putty container is fun to open! You can spend according to the “value” of the party if you want, though spending more or less on a kid based on party quality seems petty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every single kids party I have been to is a no gifts party. I honestly consider it tacky when someone does not say no gifts.

+1. Especially if it’s a party in the playground with pizza and cupcakes and nothing else. Those should absolutely be “no gift” parties.

I disagree with this. The spirit of the gift is to celebrate someone’s birthday.
If the family doesn’t one them - that’s fine. But to state that the playground party is not enough in your mind to merit a gift seems very transactional and tasteless.

We just recently attended one of these playground parties. There were grocery store cupcakes, a cheese and crackers platter also from the store and water bottles. People brought gifts. The kids play outside. It was refreshingly low key since some people go all out for things in this area.

Nothing wrong with saying no gifts it’d that’s your preference but I strongly prefer playground parties in general and of course would be delighted to bring a gift unless specifically asked not to.

+1. The folks complaining about buying a $15 craft kit or truck or whatever for a small child come across as petty and pretty snooty. Just decline the invite if playground parties aren’t worth the small effort to buy a gift for a 6 year old.

No, come on! We know you aren’t poor so just make your playground party a no gift party. It’s shouldn’t take your guest longer to prepare for your party (buy and wrap a gift) than it does for the host to prepare (pick up cupcakes).

It’s not about the child - it’s about the cheap-ass parents.

Yeah, I’m sorry but it is the cheapness of the parents. And in all honesty, it’s neither “refreshing or low-key” to have to watch and play with my 3.5 yr old with no place to sit and nothing to drink for the adults. I don’t resent the playground parties but I do resent having to buy a gift and wrap it, show up at a specific time, and then play in the same playground we go to several times a week.

NP here. I like the parties where there’s an activity or musical group to entertain the kids and give me a breather. And coffee is great! But if you truly can’t afford it just specify no gifts.

So only the rich kids whose parents can afford an entertainer or hire out a venue should get presents? How about making this not about you and just decline invitations to the types of parties that don't meet your definition of fun for a 6yo?