Husband following 20-year old on social media…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d have a huge problem with this. OP, didn’t you say he’s in his 40s and you are in your 20s? Looks like he is looking for his next younger wife.

Lol that was me, a different PP, and I jut brought it up to demonstrate that even a 20something in an age gap relationship would have an issue here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to relax. This is no different than him knowing the young girl at the barbershop. Those of us who have been on social media for most of our adult lives have all kinds of follows and friends on there that we barely know.

He's your husband. You either trust him or you don't....

+1 If this is so bothersome, there are definitely bigger problems in this marriage. I mean this kindly, OP: check your anxiety. Do you have major stressors kn your life right now, and/or is your husband exhibiting other behaviors that are contributing to your concern? Your husband following a young person means nothing. Have you asked him about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to relax. This is no different than him knowing the young girl at the barbershop. Those of us who have been on social media for most of our adult lives have all kinds of follows and friends on there that we barely know.

He's your husband. You either trust him or you don't....

+1 If this is so bothersome, there are definitely bigger problems in this marriage. I mean this kindly, OP: check your anxiety. Do you have major stressors kn your life right now, and/or is your husband exhibiting other behaviors that are contributing to your concern? Your husband following a young person means nothing. Have you asked him about it?

+2. Guessing he has a wandering eye or strayed before?

I can’t imagine my DH spending a moment thinking about it, if he did this I’m 99% positive he just thought it was friendly. Most guys are idiots but if you didn’t pick one who wasn’t that’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to relax. This is no different than him knowing the young girl at the barbershop. Those of us who have been on social media for most of our adult lives have all kinds of follows and friends on there that we barely know.

He's your husband. You either trust him or you don't....

+1 If this is so bothersome, there are definitely bigger problems in this marriage. I mean this kindly, OP: check your anxiety. Do you have major stressors kn your life right now, and/or is your husband exhibiting other behaviors that are contributing to your concern? Your husband following a young person means nothing. Have you asked him about it?

+2. Guessing he has a wandering eye or strayed before?

I can’t imagine my DH spending a moment thinking about it, if he did this I’m 99% positive he just thought it was friendly. Most guys are idiots but if you didn’t pick one who wasn’t that’s on you.

What does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to relax. This is no different than him knowing the young girl at the barbershop. Those of us who have been on social media for most of our adult lives have all kinds of follows and friends on there that we barely know.

He's your husband. You either trust him or you don't....

+1 If this is so bothersome, there are definitely bigger problems in this marriage. I mean this kindly, OP: check your anxiety. Do you have major stressors kn your life right now, and/or is your husband exhibiting other behaviors that are contributing to your concern? Your husband following a young person means nothing. Have you asked him about it?

+2. Guessing he has a wandering eye or strayed before?

I can’t imagine my DH spending a moment thinking about it, if he did this I’m 99% positive he just thought it was friendly. Most guys are idiots but if you didn’t pick one who wasn’t that’s on you.

What does that mean?

It means that in a majority of cases he would have followed this chick because he fancies her. But not every guy is like that. OP being all hot under the collar suggests that either she is insecure or their relationship has issues or both. He’s not going to get a STD over Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this is such totally normal male behavior I am surprised you are surprised. Why is this objectionable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is such totally normal male behavior I am surprised you are surprised. Why is this objectionable?

I mean, your DH fantasizes about attractive young women. Gasp! He has no shot with her.

Agree he is an idiot for allowing his insecure wife to see this. Should create a fake account and learn private browsing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to relax. This is no different than him knowing the young girl at the barbershop. Those of us who have been on social media for most of our adult lives have all kinds of follows and friends on there that we barely know.

He's your husband. You either trust him or you don't....

Amen. Crazy overreacting here. Is there something about IG that makes it more susceptible to a creepiness factor? I assume not every woman on IG is putting up suggestive pics. So what if he friends a younger person on IG who posts pictures of her cat and meals?

[Anonymous]

Why are you stalking his profile? You worried about other things?

If he wanted to do sneaky stuff he would have a finsta you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

I am 58 and a savvy social media user and I don't have a problem with this at all. It seems pretty harmless.

What is she posting? Is it sexy photos, or pics of her dog and her dinner?

[Anonymous]

Can the women who are objecting to this explain why?

Is it because they think he shouldn't be fantasizing about a 20 year old (all men do, don't women as well?)

Is it because they think he is cheating with her? Unlikely given he is a married dad, doubt she looks at him like that and if he is going the cheat that is likely with someone closer to his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is such totally normal male behavior I am surprised you are surprised. Why is this objectionable?

I mean, your DH fantasizes about attractive young women. Gasp! He has no shot with her.

Agree he is an idiot for allowing his insecure wife to see this. Should create a fake account and learn private browsing

Only would-be cheaters and real cheaters create fake accounts etc. And it's odd that you're suggesting this here because....the DH isn't reading this, his wife, the OP is reading it. So DH won't ever hear your handy recommendation. Sad!

[Anonymous]

I have read wives on this forum for years say they don't care if their husbands watch porn and now everyone is going insane over IG?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the women who are objecting to this explain why?

Is it because they think he shouldn't be fantasizing about a 20 year old (all men do, don't women as well?)

Is it because they think he is cheating with her? Unlikely given he is a married dad, doubt she looks at him like that and if he is going the cheat that is likely with someone closer to his age.

New poster.

You're at least the second poster to toss out that the DH is "fantasizing" about this woman. Unless you're inside the DH's head, stop making assumptions about what he does or doesn't fantasize. I think when you do that it's pretty clear you're projecting your own fantasies, PPs.

To OP, if you're still bothering to read this: I'm jumbled on the story now, what with all the people here to either bash your DH or defend all men who follow stranger women on social media, so: Does he know you know he follows her? If not, why not? Why have you not simply said, "Hey, what's up with you following the hair salon girl? How'd you get her social media?" People who communicate well would just...ask. Don't make assumptions like the bozos on this thread. I'm with you, OP, and my initial reaction if my own DH did this would be, "Whoa, not appropriate," but the first thing I'd do is flat out ask. Without accusatory tone or assumptions.

[Anonymous]

44 year old married woman here. Wouldn't bother me at all.