MIL super upset that I don’t always answer the phone—and she wasn’t event calling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

How exactly is it rude to say “If it’s an emergency, they can call back a few more times or just call 911?” Please explain how this is rude.

Because it's idiotic. Only people close to you call you in an emergency your spouse, parents, kids, etc. If your own mother fell down the stairs and tried to reach you would you let her just resort to 911? Nobody does this, it's not even a normal response.

If I try to call my dd and she doesn’t answer, I either try her again a couple of times or call 911. I don’t understand you’re thinking here. You think op should assume every time her phone rings it could be an emergency and she needs to answer it right away? On the off chance it’s her mother who just fell down the stairs instead of a telemarketer?

No, I'm assuming she can have a simple conversation with her MIL without being rude. How many times have you called 911 on your daughter, by the way? That's, not normal.

Um, what? Who said anything about calling 911 on someone? You’ve gone off the rails, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

That’s…literally how it started. OP didn’t make the emergency/911 comment until MIL pushed for like a fourth answer, and brought up the emergency scenario. OP literally started out by saying she’d check her phone when she had a chance, and would return the call if it wasn’t a telemarketer.

My oh my. Are you MIL, because you don’t seem to know how to quit pushing, even when you are clearly in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

Oh well, what's up with all these DILs who can't cope with their MILs? Roll your eyes and move in life as well as on here. Life isn't that hard.

Seriously!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

How exactly is it rude to say “If it’s an emergency, they can call back a few more times or just call 911?” Please explain how this is rude.

Because it's idiotic. Only people close to you call you in an emergency your spouse, parents, kids, etc. If your own mother fell down the stairs and tried to reach you would you let her just resort to 911? Nobody does this, it's not even a normal response.

If I try to call my dd and she doesn’t answer, I either try her again a couple of times or call 911. I don’t understand you’re thinking here. You think op should assume every time her phone rings it could be an emergency and she needs to answer it right away? On the off chance it’s her mother who just fell down the stairs instead of a telemarketer?

No, I'm assuming she can have a simple conversation with her MIL without being rude. How many times have you called 911 on your daughter, by the way? That's, not normal.

Um, what? Who said anything about calling 911 on someone? You’ve gone off the rails, lady.

DP. The post to which pp was responding said that if she calls her DD and she doesn't answer, the poster either tries her a few more times or calls 911. I think the poster may have meant that's what she would do if she were having an emergency and her daughter didn't answer the phone the first time, but the post is ambiguous as written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

How exactly is it rude to say “If it’s an emergency, they can call back a few more times or just call 911?” Please explain how this is rude.

Because it's idiotic. Only people close to you call you in an emergency your spouse, parents, kids, etc. If your own mother fell down the stairs and tried to reach you would you let her just resort to 911? Nobody does this, it's not even a normal response.

If I try to call my dd and she doesn’t answer, I either try her again a couple of times or call 911. I don’t understand you’re thinking here. You think op should assume every time her phone rings it could be an emergency and she needs to answer it right away? On the off chance it’s her mother who just fell down the stairs instead of a telemarketer?

No, I'm assuming she can have a simple conversation with her MIL without being rude. How many times have you called 911 on your daughter, by the way? That's, not normal.

Reading comprehension. She's not calling 911 on her daughter, she's calling 911 if she has an emergency and can't reach her daughter. Like a normal person would do.

I cannot fathom how you perceive the OP accurately pointing out that if the caller is having an emergency they can call 911 is a rude response. MIL asked "what if it's an emergency?" and OP answered MIL's question. Namely, that she would expect someone having an emergency to call 911 if they couldn't reach her. OP was not ride in the slightest and her MIL sounds like an immature dolt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

How exactly is it rude to say “If it’s an emergency, they can call back a few more times or just call 911?” Please explain how this is rude.

Because it's idiotic. Only people close to you call you in an emergency your spouse, parents, kids, etc. If your own mother fell down the stairs and tried to reach you would you let her just resort to 911? Nobody does this, it's not even a normal response.

DP. Do you carry the phone with you every time you go to the bathroom just in case someone calls with an emergency while you're peeing?

On a different note, if my mother fell down the stairs and could reach a phone, I hope she would call 911 before calling me, because they're going to be able to help her better than I can. If my mother called me in that situation, all I could do is pull up the number to her local fire department and ask them to send an ambulance to her.

I said above "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." Is that confusing?

Some of you need to learn the subtle art of redirecting a conversation if you don't like how it's going. I have more issues with my own mother than MIL and in this case would just stop and say "hey mom can you get my X,Y, Z" instead of going back and forth with this stupidity. Change the topic. It's not hard and then there are no hard feelings on Christmas Eve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

Because this forum is where many of us go to get a bit of commiseration before going back into the family fray. OP did and said nothing wrong, and MIL is indeed crazy to think people must answer their cell phones every time they ring in 2021.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

Because this forum is where many of us go to get a bit of commiseration before going back into the family fray. OP did and said nothing wrong, and MIL is indeed crazy to think people must answer their cell phones every time they ring in 2021.

The point isn't how do we use cell phones as much as it is, it's how to manage conflict. DIL failed miserably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soooo...really? You would all drop everything and run to a different floor of the house to answer a call any time your phone rings? I’m flabbergasted. Honestly.

Said nobody. But I also don't make rude comments like "if its an emergency they can call back a few more times or just call 911". I would say something normal to questioning MIL like "I'll check when I get a chance, too busy right now." and leave it at that.

How exactly is it rude to say “If it’s an emergency, they can call back a few more times or just call 911?” Please explain how this is rude.

Because it's idiotic. Only people close to you call you in an emergency your spouse, parents, kids, etc. If your own mother fell down the stairs and tried to reach you would you let her just resort to 911? Nobody does this, it's not even a normal response.

Um, yes. If I’m in a board meeting and my dad calls, I’ll know it’s not an emergency unless he calls back right after. And even then, I hope he does call 911, because even in the best of traffic scenarios, I’m an hour away if I’m at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

That’s not snarky. You’ve got a weird interpretation of what she said.

Cool, we can agree to disagree. I'm not the one posting lame stories about my MIL and then wondering all wide eyed innocence why I'm being frozen out. If you think OP was sweet and charming during this pleasant exchange then you are very naive. Maybe OP will figure it out later.

NP. You are one bitter MIL. Go work out your own family issues, honestly. Bag of bones with quite a bone to pick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

That’s not snarky. You’ve got a weird interpretation of what she said.

Cool, we can agree to disagree. I'm not the one posting lame stories about my MIL and then wondering all wide eyed innocence why I'm being frozen out. If you think OP was sweet and charming during this pleasant exchange then you are very naive. Maybe OP will figure it out later.

NP. You are one bitter MIL. Go work out your own family issues, honestly. Bag of bones with quite a bone to pick.

Ha my kids are very young 11 and under. You have no idea what you're talking about. Sometimes the DIL, believe it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

Because this forum is where many of us go to get a bit of commiseration before going back into the family fray. OP did and said nothing wrong, and MIL is indeed crazy to think people must answer their cell phones every time they ring in 2021.

The point isn't how do we use cell phones as much as it is, it's how to manage conflict. DIL failed miserably.

Nope, MIL couldn’t stop pushing, and she’s the one who can’t read a room. OP said the first time, perfectly reasonably, that she was busy at the moment and would call the person back if it wasn’t a telemarketer. And then MIL went on and on. I’m sorry this is triggering your personal issues, PP, but there’s nothing unreasonable about not dropping everything to answer your phone each and every time it rings, and saying so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

Because this forum is where many of us go to get a bit of commiseration before going back into the family fray. OP did and said nothing wrong, and MIL is indeed crazy to think people must answer their cell phones every time they ring in 2021.

The point isn't how do we use cell phones as much as it is, it's how to manage conflict. DIL failed miserably.

Actually she handled it beautifully. The person who is struggling is the one who is pouting and giving the silent treatment because she didn’t get the answer she thought DIL should give. If you can’t see that, then you are just as emotionally stunted as the MIL.

[Anonymous]

So glad I trained my parents well. They call. If it's not convenient for me to talk I call them back. Maybe it's two hours later, or maybe it's two days later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were rude AF that's why she's freezing you out. Saying you wait for an emergency to call you back once or twice or call 911 is gross. It's not even true, you know you check your missed calls. You got what you deserve.

OP was not rude. MIL was pushing to get the (what she perceives to be) correct answer that she wanted, and it wasn’t there. She should have stopped digging. If you keep poking at someone, you may not like the answers you get. What would you like OP to do, lie? Lie and say oh yes I do answer the phone every time it rings?

Well, since you were there you would know, right? OP did lie. She checks her missed calls she just wanted to be an ass to her MIL.

Can you read? OP said she would call the person back if it isn’t a telemarketer. Is it that you can’t read, or that you can’t comprehend what you read?

Oh you missed the part about letting peopel call her back if its an emergency or call 911? Maybe read it again.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WOULD DO IN AN EMERGENCY. Are you crazy? Is it only 85 year olds on DCUM today? I do not understand who you people are and why this bothers you? OP was telling it like it is.

Are you insane? They were having a basic conversation. DIL got snarky and MIL is just keeping to herself now. Why would DIL even bother posting this nonsense.

Because this forum is where many of us go to get a bit of commiseration before going back into the family fray. OP did and said nothing wrong, and MIL is indeed crazy to think people must answer their cell phones every time they ring in 2021.

The point isn't how do we use cell phones as much as it is, it's how to manage conflict. DIL failed miserably.

Nope, MIL couldn’t stop pushing, and she’s the one who can’t read a room. OP said the first time, perfectly reasonably, that she was busy at the moment and would call the person back if it wasn’t a telemarketer. And then MIL went on and on. I’m sorry this is triggering your personal issues, PP, but there’s nothing unreasonable about not dropping everything to answer your phone each and every time it rings, and saying so.

Perfectly reasonably? Nope. I'm sure the tone was different. If you can embellish and add details to the OP then so can anyone else. This isn't about the phone, this is about being civil with guests in your own home. Change the subject next time. Or be pissy about the cold shoulder. Tough choice.