Did you meet your spouse too young?

[Anonymous]

18, no. We married at 28.

[Anonymous]

Met at 15, starting at 24, married at 28… yea a little early but we’ve grown together versus matured first. Tough at times and there are times I’ve thought I wouldn’t have picked him if I had a do over but then again I had my faults too… the reality is it wouldn’t be current me doing the do-over, it would be then me so I would have made the same decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t give advice on dating or marriage even though I have been married two decades. It’s different for everyone, very subjective. I am unhappy right now probably because I married so young so I wouldn’t recommend it, that’s it.

My parents married young their advice to all of us was not to get married before 30. My mom's biggest regret is that she essentially went from her parents' house to being a housewife, she didn't have time to develop on her own.

Sounds like a different era. I had a graduate degree, several years of work experience and my own apartment when I married at 25.

I also had just started a graduate degree when I married and was as independent as a 23 yr old could be. I still believe it was too young. I went from being a full time student to a wife, housekeeper, landscaper, employee and grad student in the blink of an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t give advice on dating or marriage even though I have been married two decades. It’s different for everyone, very subjective. I am unhappy right now probably because I married so young so I wouldn’t recommend it, that’s it.

My parents married young their advice to all of us was not to get married before 30. My mom's biggest regret is that she essentially went from her parents' house to being a housewife, she didn't have time to develop on her own.

Sounds like a different era. I had a graduate degree, several years of work experience and my own apartment when I married at 25.

I also had just started a graduate degree when I married and was as independent as a 23 yr old could be. I still believe it was too young. I went from being a full time student to a wife, housekeeper, landscaper, employee and grad student in the blink of an eye.

It doesn’t sound like much time but I do think those couple of years between us made a difference. For one, I wasn’t a student anymore and could focus only on the employee part. Young twenties isn’t mid twenties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23.

I was young but I slutted it up enough from 18-23 that I don’t feel I missed out on anything.

+1. College years were wild and fun but I was ready for the next chapter when I meant DH at 23

[Anonymous]

Met at 16w and 18h, had our 1st daughter at 17 and 19, 2nd daughter at 19 and 21 married at 21 and 23. We had our 3rd daughter at 29 and 31 and are still together 28 years later.

We were young and stupid and struggled tremendously throughout the years but we survived and now own a business and help our 1st dd with our grandsons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met at 16w and 18h, had our 1st daughter at 17 and 19, 2nd daughter at 19 and 21 married at 21 and 23. We had our 3rd daughter at 29 and 31 and are still together 28 years later.

We were young and stupid and struggled tremendously throughout the years but we survived and now own a business and help our 1st dd with our grandsons.

Wow that's young! Did you have your first kids on purpose? Did you know you were in it for the long haul together? What did your parents think? What made you decide to marry when you did?

I'm sorry if this is too many questions - your story sounds really interesting is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t give advice on dating or marriage even though I have been married two decades. It’s different for everyone, very subjective. I am unhappy right now probably because I married so young so I wouldn’t recommend it, that’s it.

My parents married young their advice to all of us was not to get married before 30. My mom's biggest regret is that she essentially went from her parents' house to being a housewife, she didn't have time to develop on her own.

Sounds like a different era. I had a graduate degree, several years of work experience and my own apartment when I married at 25.

I had all of that at 25, too, but I still am incredibly glad I waited a few more years to get married. Hopefully you weren’t the same person at 25 and 30- those five years were an incredible period of growth for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread explains so much of the bad advice given in this forum, so many of you are completely clueless when it comes to dating.

+1

100% a very good reminder. Explains a lot.

It truly does. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Met at 23, married at 26, first child at 29. I don’t think it was too early because I didn’t want to have kids late!

[Anonymous]

Married and had first kid at 22. Maybe it wasn't that it was too young to get married but it was too young to both get married and have a kid. 40 now and dealing with a lot of difficulties that are making me reflect on this.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what you get into as a couple, my wife and I moved in together at 25, got married six years later and had our first kid three years after that; we had nearly 10 years with each just us but I think the experience would be way different if we had kids right away.

[Anonymous]

We met at 24 but didn’t marry until 34 (granted, we had already been living together for years and jointly bought our place). So we had time to grow up. There were a few dramatic breakups in the early years because we were both immature, but by about age 28 we were rock solid and inseparable. Married about a decade now, two kids.

[Anonymous]

Kind of going off topic, but I wonder if marrying young makes you more prone to cheating. In the cases of infidelity that I know of the couples all married a t under 30, and two of them were under 25.

There's a guy I know now, he and his wife met at 22 and 24, they didn't mary until 26 and 28, they have a bunch of kids, and he has 2 kids with another woman, 4 of his kids are within a few months of each other. It's interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Met at 16w and 18h, had our 1st daughter at 17 and 19, 2nd daughter at 19 and 21 married at 21 and 23. We had our 3rd daughter at 29 and 31 and are still together 28 years later.

We were young and stupid and struggled tremendously throughout the years but we survived and now own a business and help our 1st dd with our grandsons.

Wow that's young! Did you have your first kids on purpose? Did you know you were in it for the long haul together? What did your parents think? What made you decide to marry when you did?

I'm sorry if this is too many questions - your story sounds really interesting is all.

We were young and stupid when I got pregnant with dd#1 and we didn't really have any help from family and moved in together when dd was 2 months old into a basement studio apartment. Dd#2 wasn't planned either but came upon me forgetting to take the pill. Dh says he knew we would stay together and once he proposed we waited less than a year to marry. Dd#3 was our surprise baby since we were using the p&p method and didn't really plan on any more kids but she made us complete.

Our family's never really approved but couldn't do anything about it and unfortunately dh became estranged from his family once we moved in together since we lived over an hour away. Dh says he knew we would be together since I was the one especially after we had kids but truthfully I stayed because I was young with kids and a high-school dropout. Now I look back at our struggles and fights and can't imagine it any other way. We are a very close family with our oldest daughter in the apartment above us with her partner and 2 sons while our 24 year old still lives st home saving for whenever she wants to move out with no pressure from us.

From the way we were raised we decided immediately we would raise our daughters much differently as a close knit family that is open to discussing anything and supporting them in anything they want to do weither we believe it to be wrong or right.