If you have dated a 30+ man in your teens and early twenties

[Anonymous]

I was in my early 20s and dated a guy 15 years older. It was a wonderful experience. He was patient and kind. It was fun. He taught me how to enjoy sex and let go.
However, when it came time to consider commitment, he wouldn't. After a few years, I left. I have no regrets and still consider it a good experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so amusing because it brings to mind all the guys on here who talk about dating much younger after divorce or who have APs who are much younger. It’s actually refreshing that most of the women look back and realize they had daddy issues - the guys on here should take note.

But the fact that so many women were in these relationships, and quite a few still have fond memories. just goes to disprove the regular "ewww" and typical "no one wants to date a man XX years older" that we frequently see in numerous threads.

No, it's just one.

I find it fascinating that of all the responses, every single woman regrets it UNLESS they married him (save for the one creepy exception). I wonder if an objective therapist looking in at those “happy” marriages that were formed between adults and children would agree that the marriages are healthy.

Oh please. I don't regret it. I didn't marry him. I recognized then and recognize now how it looked for him and for me. We joked about it. I was a bit older, in my mid-twenties, but I have zero regrets. Not everyone is an a$$ or dysfunctional woman with daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you dating men in their thirties when you were teens must have hidden this from your parents, correct? My parents would have put an end to that pretty quickly, not to mention that it would be statutory rape in many states, including Virginia , if you were under 18

I definitely didn't tell my parents I was dating a 30 yo at 19. He did come to my house to pick me up one time. My dad answered the door and called me down saying, "Larla, there's a Bozo (clown) at the door." Lol! The guy acted pouty and butt hurt and kept bringing it up until I finally got sick of him and dumped him. In short, my Dad was awesome and not the reason I dated this jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so amusing because it brings to mind all the guys on here who talk about dating much younger after divorce or who have APs who are much younger. It’s actually refreshing that most of the women look back and realize they had daddy issues - the guys on here should take note.

But the fact that so many women were in these relationships, and quite a few still have fond memories. just goes to disprove the regular "ewww" and typical "no one wants to date a man XX years older" that we frequently see in numerous threads.

No, it's just one.

no, there are plenty of women who have enjoyed their dalliances with older men. I would also presume that there are actually many more than you'd think but they are just sitting back silently so as to avoid the ridiculous judgement the few vocal shrills (and no, I'm not lumping you in that category, PP) throw down on nearly everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so amusing because it brings to mind all the guys on here who talk about dating much younger after divorce or who have APs who are much younger. It’s actually refreshing that most of the women look back and realize they had daddy issues - the guys on here should take note.

But the fact that so many women were in these relationships, and quite a few still have fond memories. just goes to disprove the regular "ewww" and typical "no one wants to date a man XX years older" that we frequently see in numerous threads.

No, it's just one.

I find it fascinating that of all the responses, every single woman regrets it UNLESS they married him (save for the one creepy exception). I wonder if an objective therapist looking in at those “happy” marriages that were formed between adults and children would agree that the marriages are healthy.

Big difference between mid 20's and teenagers. I was a completely different person at 21 than I was at 18. By 24, I had a good head on my shoulders and understood what age/type of man would be appropriate for me. At 18, I would take any type of guy who paid attention to me.

Oh please. I don't regret it. I didn't marry him. I recognized then and recognize now how it looked for him and for me. We joked about it. I was a bit older, in my mid-twenties, but I have zero regrets. Not everyone is an a$$ or dysfunctional woman with daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you dating men in their thirties when you were teens must have hidden this from your parents, correct? My parents would have put an end to that pretty quickly, not to mention that it would be statutory rape in many states, including Virginia , if you were under 18

Mine knew and they were FURIOUS, but I was in my early 20s. He was of a different religion too and it was a big deal for my parents. It was, simply put, a train wreck of a relationship. I agree with the PPs who said that the men are usually controlling and have commitment issues. IMO, the older man cannot control a woman of similar age, so he prays on the young and stupid. I admitted that I was young and dumb.
His family was a mess too - his father married a woman much younger than my exBF, made her convert, had two kids with her while he was almost 70 y/o, and then she had an affair and ran away with their Rabbi, after the old man / H had prostate cancer and he became impotent. The divorce was epic because she couldn't remarry or live with the Rabbi without losing the alimony; she was bitter and shared way too much about the sex shortcomings. If my exBF's brother reads this (he's in DC) - hi B! I didn't use names

[Anonymous]

Huge difference in life experience and maturity from 18 to 21 to 24+. Guys who date teenagers are either losers, controlling, perverts or all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18 and he was 36. I didn’t feel the age difference at all. He was the nicest, sweetest guy and we just sort of met at the wrong point in our lives. He was married (unhappily), I was clearly too young for him to have a real relationship. I was smitten with him and I think he enjoyed feeling youthful with me. We had so many common interests and it just felt normal. We’d spend whatever time we could together. I still think about him all the time and will sneak a peek at his FB to see what’s going on in his life. I was completely in love with him at 18 but I knew it wasn’t going to last. I broke it off when I graduated high school and was heading to college. Married now 15 yrs two kids. I still fantasize about running into him one day and seeing him again.

How have you not grown up and become wiser than you were at 18?

She clearly hasn't.

[Anonymous]

The women in their 20s don't seem to have the bad experience of the women who were teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so amusing because it brings to mind all the guys on here who talk about dating much younger after divorce or who have APs who are much younger. It’s actually refreshing that most of the women look back and realize they had daddy issues - the guys on here should take note.

But the fact that so many women were in these relationships, and quite a few still have fond memories. just goes to disprove the regular "ewww" and typical "no one wants to date a man XX years older" that we frequently see in numerous threads.

No, it's just one.

I find it fascinating that of all the responses, every single woman regrets it UNLESS they married him (save for the one creepy exception). I wonder if an objective therapist looking in at those “happy” marriages that were formed between adults and children would agree that the marriages are healthy.

Oh please. I don't regret it. I didn't marry him. I recognized then and recognize now how it looked for him and for me. We joked about it. I was a bit older, in my mid-twenties, but I have zero regrets. Not everyone is an a$$ or dysfunctional woman with daddy issues.

Mid 20s is very different than teens or even college aged.

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy in his early 30s when I was still in college (20/21). I don’t think he is a predator but I do see, now, that he is stunted and there is no way women his age were interested. At the time, I just thought I was hotter than those women (lol).

[Anonymous]

I started dating a 38 yo when I was 25. We’ve been married for 15 years now with 2 kids and things are great. My parents were initially aghast, but at this point they like him more than they like me and would definitely take his side if we got divorced lol.

[Anonymous]

A Teacher (a tv series with Kate Mara) follows a “relationship” between a 17-18yr/old and a early 30s adult. I think it does a great job of showing how stark that age difference is and the damage it can cause.

I actually had a friend who started “dating” her newly married former HS teacher when she was 18. We all thought it was crazy at the time but now I fully comprehend how messed up the situation was for her. He was absolutely a predator.

[Anonymous]

When I was 22 I dated a guy who was 32, we met through work. As others have said, he probably couldn't get anyone his own age to date him. His friends were quite rude to me - I was a pretty normal 22 year old, going out to happy hour all the time, they were pretty normal 32 year olds with little ones and real careers. Best thing about the relationship was the sex and really seeing the difference between sex with a man vs sex with college aged boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started dating a 38 yo when I was 25. We’ve been married for 15 years now with 2 kids and things are great. My parents were initially aghast, but at this point they like him more than they like me and would definitely take his side if we got divorced lol.

If you started dating at 25 and likely married at 27/28 I wouldn’t put this in the same category as a 30y/o dating a teen or college aged student. I’m 31 and, if I wasn’t already married, I’d, ideally, date people close in age but would find it more appropriate to date a 41y/o than a 21y/o. I think it’s creepy to date people who’s brains are not fully developed. The power dynamic is off.