wife cheated - should I expose her on social?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation but in your wife's shoes. Ex wanted to post all over how I was a cheater or whatever.

If your wife makes money off of her social media following, you can get in big trouble for interfering with her ability to earn income. That's illegal. It's like calling her place of employment to report her for cheating, either it'll do nothing, or she can come after you for the money she lost as a result.

Judges also hate petty stuff like that. If you go to court and whine about what she said on social media, it's going to reflect poorly on you.

Also, it just makes you look petty and more at fault. Ex tried to expose me to many people and the vast majority just thought he was crazy.

Haha how do you figure it’s illegal? Is is illegal to mislead your followers? GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Do a passive aggressive comment line.

You are great mom and your baby is beautiful. I wish you all the best and I hope <name of father> Is 1/2 the parent you are to his child.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation but in your wife's shoes. Ex wanted to post all over how I was a cheater or whatever.

If your wife makes money off of her social media following, you can get in big trouble for interfering with her ability to earn income. That's illegal. It's like calling her place of employment to report her for cheating, either it'll do nothing, or she can come after you for the money she lost as a result.

Judges also hate petty stuff like that. If you go to court and whine about what she said on social media, it's going to reflect poorly on you.

Also, it just makes you look petty and more at fault. Ex tried to expose me to many people and the vast majority just thought he was crazy.

He can tell the truth to whoever he wants with no repercussions, even if that interferes with her ability to make money. Your post is unbelievable in its total lack of self-awareness - have you done zero self-reflection since you lied and cheated and blew up your husband's life? And news flash - it does not make him look petty and at fault any more than it made your ex look that way . . . people just said that to make you feel better. Behind your back, everyone gossiped about your complete lack of morals and integrity.

[Anonymous]

As part of your divorce and child-support ask for paternity test. Once you know that the baby is not yours, post that result on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say, “Hopefully the baby’s dad steps up to help you parent.”

And leave it at that. Definitely send her parents a note wishing them the best, and feeling bad that your relationship ended because of her relationship with baby Larlo’s father.

Then gray rock all of them

This is the best response. I would say it in response to the main posting and Tina few friends. Everyone will figure it out.

Also wish her and her child the best.

[Anonymous]

Under normal circumstances, like if the other wasn't some kinda personality with a following they like to share details with, I wouldn't say anything, but this... I don't know. It would kill me to know this person is trying to publicly peg me as the bad person when they were at fault. I'm not saying to post, but I can't say without a doubt that I wouldn't!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say, “Hopefully the baby’s dad steps up to help you parent.”

And leave it at that. Definitely send her parents a note wishing them the best, and feeling bad that your relationship ended because of her relationship with baby Larlo’s father.

Then gray rock all of them

This is the best response. I would say it in response to the main posting and Tina few friends. Everyone will figure it out.

Also wish her and her child the best.

+1,000

He is being made out to be a deadbeat dad that walked out and isn’t helping out.

That’s unconscionable. The response above is succinct. It’s not nasty. It puts the onus on her. She made her bed (this case baby with another man) let her deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say, “Hopefully the baby’s dad steps up to help you parent.”

And leave it at that. Definitely send her parents a note wishing them the best, and feeling bad that your relationship ended because of her relationship with baby Larlo’s father.

Then gray rock all of them

This is the best response. I would say it in response to the main posting and Tina few friends. Everyone will figure it out.

Also wish her and her child the best.

Yes, good — XDW, I wish you and your child the best. I truly hope that your child’s father will be a support in your life. I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us but that’s life and everything happens for a reason <rainbow emoji>

[Anonymous]

Op, as the victim of a cheater, I am very empathetic to your need to set the record straight. You certainly do not owe your ex wife any silence. However, I would not engage on social media where your ex wife has the ability to control or influence your comments and others responses to them. It’s like taking the fight to her battlefield - a big strategic error.

I agree with others who say to unfollow her. Do you have friends that are mutual to you and her - friendships that you want to maintain for personal or professional reasons? Tell those people privately and casually in the way that other PPs suggest - that it’s unfortunate you broke up but best for the baby that ex-wife have a chance to work out a relationship with the baby’s birth father. Deliver the message once per person and after that, draw a boundary if your friend mentions your ex, that you wish her well but you’ve cut ties and aren’t really interested in hearing about her.

You have a right to tell your story, but don’t ever expect that your ex will acknowledge reality or apologize or be rational. Psychopaths like your ex just create a reality that is in their interest. If they can’t get positive energy, they will feed of your negative energy and attention. Best thing you can do is grey rock her.

[Anonymous]

I would think responding w/my view of why things ended would just make me look bitter + spiteful and would much rather be the classy one and just let this one go.

On the other hand however it would piss me off that my ex-wife is painting me in such a bad light just to garner sympathy.

Perhaps you can hire yourself an attorney to see if you can sue her for slander, etc.

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiosity, did she put you on the birth certificate? If so, did you get it corrected? Do you have to pay child support in the divorce even if it’s not your child because you were married at the time of the birth? Does the actual father have to pay support? Is she telling other people besides her parents that it was a donor? What reason did she give her parents for using a donor behind your back? Did she claim that you wouldn’t give her a child (or couldn’t) and she just wanted one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say, “Hopefully the baby’s dad steps up to help you parent.”

And leave it at that. Definitely send her parents a note wishing them the best, and feeling bad that your relationship ended because of her relationship with baby Larlo’s father.

Then gray rock all of them

This is the best response. I would say it in response to the main posting and Tina few friends. Everyone will figure it out.

Also wish her and her child the best.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

If you get a lawyer get a lawyer that does defamation NOT one who does divorced.

Divorce lawyers if they are bad fall into two camps: settle quickly and make a quick $1,000 (and pressure someone into a bad settlement) or drag it out needlessly.

This is more a case of defamation as opposed to a pure divorce thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Under normal circumstances, like if the other wasn't some kinda personality with a following they like to share details with, I wouldn't say anything, but this... I don't know. It would kill me to know this person is trying to publicly peg me as the bad person when they were at fault. I'm not saying to post, but I can't say without a doubt that I wouldn't!!

Or maybe they were both at fault? It’s not always either/or. Both can be true.

[Anonymous]

Do you have children in common? You don’t say, but if not, then trust that your friends know, and block all of her accounts. Stop following her social media. No one needs that negativity.

And, see a therapist. The situation you describe would be intensely hurtful, and you deserve to heal from that pain so that future relationships aren’t caught up in that pain.