Dating sucks. Or am I just overly sensitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is english his first language?

Yes.

So why are you still dating him if everything he does still annoys you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no! I wouldn’t see him again. He sounds creepy and controlling. Not appropriate behavior for three dates.

Total creep! How dare he express interest in wanting to see someone he's dating. Much better he is aloof and ignores her for several days at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no! I wouldn’t see him again. He sounds creepy and controlling. Not appropriate behavior for three dates.

Total creep! How dare he express interest in wanting to see someone he's dating. Much better he is aloof and ignores her for several days at a time.

Ahh yes demanding her time after seeing her three times in a row!

This isn’t a would you rather situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no! I wouldn’t see him again. He sounds creepy and controlling. Not appropriate behavior for three dates.

Total creep! How dare he express interest in wanting to see someone he's dating. Much better he is aloof and ignores her for several days at a time.

Ahh yes, demanding her time after seeing her three times in a row!

This isn’t a would you rather situation.

He said he would like to see her again. That's not demanding her time or a summons. She's free to turn it down. MY god! n o wonder so many of you are single or have dysfunctional relationships. Your communication skills suck and you see red flags everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

Because there isn't one. And I feel like this is the same OP posting repeatedly about dating guys she doesn't really like and then being annoyed with them, jury's still out on why she's doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is english his first language?

Yes.

So why are you still dating him if everything he does still annoys you?

Still waiting on an answer to this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

Wrong. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to go really slow. After the last date he started to talk about “our wedding” and how he wanted me to go on trips with him. He started planning a trip that same week. I said no. While he was on his trip visiting his brother he kept putting me on FT with him and telling his brother how I was going to go on this trip that he had planned for us. Then he started telling me he was missing me. That’s when I had to tell him again that I wanted to go slow. This isn’t about when I want attention and putting him on the shelf when I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

Wrong. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to go really slow. After the last date he started to talk about “our wedding” and how he wanted me to go on trips with him. He started planning a trip that same week. I said no. While he was on his trip visiting his brother he kept putting me on FT with him and telling his brother how I was going to go on this trip that he had planned for us. Then he started telling me he was missing me. That’s when I had to tell him again that I wanted to go slow. This isn’t about when I want attention and putting him on the shelf when I want.

So why are you still dating him? It's clear you aren't interested in him like that. and you don't want the same things? So why are you wasting time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

Wrong. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to go really slow. After the last date he started to talk about “our wedding” and how he wanted me to go on trips with him. He started planning a trip that same week. I said no. While he was on his trip visiting his brother he kept putting me on FT with him and telling his brother how I was going to go on this trip that he had planned for us. Then he started telling me he was missing me. That’s when I had to tell him again that I wanted to go slow. This isn’t about when I want attention and putting him on the shelf when I want.

So why are you still dating him? It's clear you aren't interested in him like that. and you don't want the same things? So why are you wasting time?

How is wanting to go slow and not wanting to go on a trip with someone you just met indicative of a lack of interest? I would reacted the same way as OP even I liked him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

Wrong. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to go really slow. After the last date he started to talk about “our wedding” and how he wanted me to go on trips with him. He started planning a trip that same week. I said no. While he was on his trip visiting his brother he kept putting me on FT with him and telling his brother how I was going to go on this trip that he had planned for us. Then he started telling me he was missing me. That’s when I had to tell him again that I wanted to go slow. This isn’t about when I want attention and putting him on the shelf when I want.

So why are you still dating him? It's clear you aren't interested in him like that. and you don't want the same things? So why are you wasting time?

How is wanting to go slow and not wanting to go on a trip with someone you just met indicative of a lack of interest? I would reacted the same way as OP even I liked him.

Well then you're an idiot too. They aren't on the same page and aren't going to be on the same page so cut your losses and move on, but some people are addicted to the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why that turned you off.

+1 He was basically saying he likes you and is hoping you can fit him into your schedule in the near future. I don't think anything else was intended.

+1. I think you are reading too much into it. This is why texting leads to a lot of miscommunication.

This isn’t a texting miscommunication issue. OP said she had to tell him to kind of ease up and he follows up with her needing to make time for him. It’s been 3 weeks and it seems like he’s not really respecting her boundaries.

I mean, he just said what he’d like. He didn’t say she needed to do anything. I’m not sure what he’s done that made it seem like he wasn’t respecting boundaries but if OP read this as demanding or entititled when many wouldn’t, then maybe she’s misinterpreting. If she doesn’t like him, fine, but he didn’t demand anything. He wanted to know if sis was free on Tuesday and when he wasn’t, he said he’d like her to make time for him soon.

I think I see why so many people have trouble going from meeting to relationships when every word is parsed like this and one wrong move (that is arguably just a miscommunication) and that’s it….next!

He got upset because she was going to spend time with her family. He didn’t ask when she’d be free again. He didn’t say “hey I’m getting back this week. I’ll be free xyz. Would you like to get together”. No, instead he said that she needed to make time for him as if she’s been dodging him and like he’s the one who hasn’t been traveling. Again, it’s comes off as needy and entitled. Only three dates in and he’s telling her he misses her and she needs to make time for him? This is all after she told him to slow down; not respecting boundaries. It’s too much to soon. Three dates in one month is not a lot of time spent with someone new. Again, too much too soon.

NP here. He didn't get upset at all you are making stuf so you can demonize him because you hate men. Stop it

I’m not demonizing him. Multiple have said that his text was a red flag. There’s a reason why we’re saying that.

I’m not the person saying you hate men or are demonizing him. But I am another person saying it didn’t sound to me like he was upset. If there are multiple people saying his text is a problem, and multiple saying it’s not, can we at least agree that it’s not clear what he meant?

Regardless, it’s OP’s right to blow him off; I just genuinely don’t see an issue with his text.

On its own the text isn’t that bad - still off putting but not relationship/situationship ending. I think the issue is that OP had to tell him to slow down and it seems like he isn’t listening to her. This text just confirms that he’s not respecting her wishes.

So the issue is he's not doing exactly what OP wants. OP wants to determine the entirety of the relationship. That's not how relationships work. IT's fine to want to go slow, it' not fine to basically keep a person on a shelf and pull them out when you want to have some attention in play time. There's nothing wrong or pushy about saying he wants to see her. Nothing.

Wrong. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to go really slow. After the last date he started to talk about “our wedding” and how he wanted me to go on trips with him. He started planning a trip that same week. I said no. While he was on his trip visiting his brother he kept putting me on FT with him and telling his brother how I was going to go on this trip that he had planned for us. Then he started telling me he was missing me. That’s when I had to tell him again that I wanted to go slow. This isn’t about when I want attention and putting him on the shelf when I want.

So why are you still dating him? It's clear you aren't interested in him like that. and you don't want the same things? So why are you wasting time?

How is wanting to go slow and not wanting to go on a trip with someone you just met indicative of a lack of interest? I would reacted the same way as OP even I liked him.

Well then you're an idiot too. They aren't on the same page and aren't going to be on the same page so cut your losses and move on, but some people are addicted to the drama.

Not an idiot. It’s not safe to travel with someone that you barely know.