Do you feel your husband appreciates you as a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Do you feel your husband appreciates you as a SAHM? I wish my husband would say once in awhile "you're a great mom." That would mean so much. I never hear anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I know he does. He knows the sacrifice I've made to stay home for this first year and he mentions it often. We made this decision together and it was what we both felt was the best. He also mentions often that he knows I miss the company of other adults and does his best to make sure I get a chance to go out with friends on weekends.

I think too many people think that staying home is easy. It is NOT. Oh my God, it is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Yep. He never tells me I'm a great mom though but I don't need that.

[Anonymous]

I think he appreciates how much easier it makes his life, but he's also not very generous with the expressions of appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Fu*k No.

[Anonymous]

Yes! He does not often say it, but will occasionally say that our kids have a beautiful life. He travels quite a bit and when home tries to give me "alone time". The kids are older now, so in some ways it is easier, although now have to worry about all the high school stuff!

[Anonymous]

He does appreciate me, but he still takes some things for granted. I probably take things for granted too. When I feel that it's a problem, I try to tell him what I'm thinking/feeling, eventhough it's sometimes hard for me to express my feelings. I know he won't intuit everything, so if I want him to know, I tell him.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

However, it could also be because I quit work permanently after saving all my earnings for years (so very early retirement), and we are financially secure, and my kids college education is paid for, and my kids are super high achieving in public magnet schools, and we outsource our household chores, and we have frequent sex...

Why does someone not appreciate their own spouse? Could be a multitude of reasons. Being a SAHM or WOHM has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

YES, yes and yes. He tells me and shows me. I know I am lucky. I'm sorry your husband doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I know he does. He knows the sacrifice I've made to stay home for this first year and he mentions it often. We made this decision together and it was what we both felt was the best. He also mentions often that he knows I miss the company of other adults and does his best to make sure I get a chance to go out with friends on weekends.

I think too many people think that staying home is easy. It is NOT. Oh my God, it is not easy.

You are very lucky. Not because you "get" to stay home (no not easy!) but because your husband sounds like a wonderful partner.

[Anonymous]

Definitely. But we have two under two and he works 90 hours a week. He is well aware of the fact that he would need to cut way back at work if I didn't stay home and he doesn't want to do that.

[Anonymous]

Yes. He's very gracious and I'm not sure I deserve it most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YES, yes and yes. He tells me and shows me. I know I am lucky. I'm sorry your husband doesn't.

+1

[Anonymous]

No. Most of the time I really don't think he does.

[Anonymous]

Staying home with your children does not necessarily make you a "great mom", OP. I have two friends who work full time and are the best mothers I have ever known.

That said, DH appreciates that his life is easier since we decided that I should stay home with the kids and often comments on that and little things he sees around the house. But I would never want my relationship as a mother being defined only as a SAHM as I have every intention of going back to teaching.