Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?

[Anonymous]

Had first date w nice guy. He wants to go again, is texting me, etc (not overly texting, just a few here and there). I'm not immediately attracted to him, but I think I could be with some little enhancements. He just needs a hair cut, beard trim and mabe some updated glasses (they are kind of loose/crooked on his face). He's a smart compter engineer type guy.

I not Miss America, and am not looking for perfection, but he could use a little update. What would you do? Attraction needs to be there as well as common interests and common values. We are both divorced, mid 40s.

[Anonymous]

Eww.

[Anonymous]

Your affection should not be conditional on him changing, that would be really unfair to him. If you're not attracted to him, move on. It's clear you don't respect him from what you said about him here.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

You can't fix him, no wonder you're alone.

[Anonymous]

If you really enjoy his company regardless of appearance, then you should give him another chance or two. If you only think you ought to enjoy his company so as not to be shallow, then skip it.

[Anonymous]

You should move on. He is not your type and you can't change him.

My DH is the spiffy type and I have not been able to get him to lay off the hair gel and get schlumpy in 10 years. And he hasn't turned me into someone who straightens Her hair or wears makeup with any regularity. Good thing we liked each other fine the way we were! His sisters are high maintenance women and he was tired of that type, prefers my outdoorsy ethos. I don't shop all the time and spend hours on my toilette.

[Anonymous]

I did a.major overhaul on my husband. I encouraged him to go to the gym with me and cooked healthy foods. He lost 85lbs and is very fiT. I overhauled his wardrobe and has all beautiful Nordstrom clothes. He feels great and for years now is on his one taking pride in his appearance. He's 40 and a 32yr old divorced hot single mom on our soccer team had the balls to hit on him.

[Anonymous]

I would. Those guys are good guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would. Those guys are good guys.

Agree. Some men just need some touch up here and there. But personalities cannot be changed.

[Anonymous]

How is the wallet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had first date w nice guy. He wants to go again, is texting me, etc (not overly texting, just a few here and there). I'm not immediately attracted to him, but I think I could be with some little enhancements. He just needs a hair cut, beard trim and mabe some updated glasses (they are kind of loose/crooked on his face). He's a smart compter engineer type guy.

I not Miss America, and am not looking for perfection, but he could use a little update. What would you do? Attraction needs to be there as well as common interests and common values. We are both divorced, mid 40s.

Women who see men as projects. Like those relationships ever last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would. Those guys are good guys.

Agree. Some men just need some touch up here and there. But personalities cannot be changed.

Bingo. Thank God my husband was a nerd or he would not have been single & available at age 37. He probably just needs some help. one of my classmates did this with her fiancé and I didn't recognize him at first! Damn! Who knew that geek was so hot? They've been married 20 years now, met in their 30s. Come on, what heterosexual guy reads fashion & beauty mags?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes guys grt a little schlumpy when there us no woman in their life. Maybe he wont mind you helping with those details that he doesnt even notice. You coukd be a great match, dont miss a chance because he needs to see an optician!

[Anonymous]

When I doubt, give another chance, imo.