Pregnant at 42.5 and with serious marital issues
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Anonymous
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BC fail. What should I do? My husband is bipolar and we aren't sure if we're headed for divorce. Our therapist just referred him to anger management counseling due to abuse in our marriage. She won't see us until he completes anger management therapy. We have one child, age 5.5.
Oh god. |
Anonymous
| Abort |
Anonymous
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Hugs, OP.
This sounds like a really tough situation for you, but it sounds like an even tougher situation for the child you already have. Maybe you need to focus on the child you have. Presumably you were on BC because you weren't planning on having another child. Therapist should be willing to see you alone even before husband completes anger management therapy. Since you already have a relationship with her, maybe talk it through with her. Good luck. |
Anonymous
I don't think you should rush to this just yet. I can only imagine how hard it is being a single parent - my sister is one. But a sibling to your DC might be a good thing, especially if you do divorce. Are you worried that your baby might be bipolar, too? I can understand that. I think I would be, too. |
Anonymous
+1 Would be very worried that child would be bipolar also. Very strong genetic tie. |
Anonymous
| I would have an abortion but I realize that's not acceptable for some. But it's hard to coparent anyway. Throw mental illness and abuse into the mix and it's even worse. I wouldn't bring another child into that. I'd focus on providing the best emotional support for my existing child. |
Anonymous
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I would make the decision now - either do it, or commit to holding off until the baby is older.
I went through a separation when my son was 5 months old. Trying to deal with moving (you can't file unless you don't live together, and he was mentally unstable and refused to leave) and taking care of my older kids and dealing with lawyers and court and a spiteful ex, all while taking care of a needy, breastfeeding baby nearly gave me a mental breakdown. I did lose 15 lbs though, so, there was that. |
Anonymous
Their marriage is on the rocks. Why the hell would you bring a child in to that situation? That is selfish. |
Anonymous
| Do you want the second child if you marriage falls apart (or in your marriage as it currently stands)? How will that be on the child? On your older child? Can you do it? If not, then you seriously need to understand your options. Does you husband know about the pregnancy? Does your older child? |
Anonymous
| shoulda kept them legs closed |
Anonymous
Aborting a baby because one of the parents is bipolar is one of the grosser things I've ever read on here. Of all the things she's dealing with, the baby (or other child) maybe having bipolar when they're older really shouldn't be a top concern at this point. And certainly not a reason to abort. |
Anonymous
She said BC fail. |
Anonymous
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How pregnant? I don't mean to be cruel, but at our age, a lot of these problems solve themselves.
-veteran miscarrier |
Anonymous
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OP again. Appreciate the thoughts and support. I think I'm 6, maybe 7 weeks judging from LMP. I don't want to abort but this situation is bad for a new baby. I've considered adoption but I wouldn't be able to give my baby up once here.
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Anonymous
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I'd abort if I were you. Your loyalty has to be to the child who already exists. She's living in an abusive home, she can't count on a stable father, her mother is a victim, her parents may or may not get divorced, and then on TOP of that her mother may be distracted by a pregnancy and then a newborn? No. Not fair to her.
Sorry, OP. |