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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fwb wants to get together, but I am embarrassed because "down there" has become a tangled jungle.

What do I do?

Invite him over and put on some 1970s porn.

OP here. I am a he. Jungle has a meek snake. Now what?

If you are a he and your FWB is a he, he will understand. You’re being way too hard on yourself. If it will make you feel more secure, have a lizard in your murse for backup. You can also use white socks for protection, stay safe and good luck!

Won’t the FEB want the poster to be hard for him and not on himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $200 in my bank account and $12,500 a year. I want to put in an offer for a $3 million house. My husband thinks I’m nuts. What do I do?

Divorce

And breakup Jeff Bezos’s relationship. He will buy you the house you deserve

[Anonymous]

Thoughts on this house? https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6531-Firwood-St-Detroit-MI-48210/88316407_zpid/" target="_new" rel="nofollow"> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6531-Firwood-St-Detroit-MI-48210/88316407_zpid/

I tele-work and am thinking of relocating to Detroit. This house looks like a steal, just $5k! With a little elbow grease and sweat equity I can turn it around I'm pretty sure and it can become a stately home once again. Anyone idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts on this house? https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6531-Firwood-St-Detroit-MI-48210/88316407_zpid/" target="_new" rel="nofollow"> https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6531-Firwood-St-Detroit-MI-48210/88316407_zpid/

I tele-work and am thinking of relocating to Detroit. This house looks like a steal, just $5k! With a little elbow grease and sweat equity I can turn it around I'm pretty sure and it can become a stately home once again. Anyone idea?

Quit your job. Sell your house and buy all of the houses in Detroit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently moved in with my boyfriend. One day, while he was away, I went through his underwear drawer and found the engagement ring he plans to give to me. I also saw that all of his underwear, all of them, every single pair, has skid marks in them. How can a grown man not know how to wipe his own butt properly? When I looked into the future being married to this man, I see only me next to a washing machine washing his dirty underwear for the rest of my life. Nooooooooooo!

I cannot marry this man. Every time I see him I think of only one thing: "doggie diapers". It's over for me. Done. I have absolutely no respect for him and dread the day he proposes because I will want to scream "No, no, HELL NO" and run away but it will break his heart because he says he loves me. I do not love him anymore after seeing his dirty underwear. It is a deal breaker.

What is the best way to extricate myself from this situation so that it's a win-win for everyone?

Fight fire with fire.

Wait until he proposes, then start leaving your own skid marked undies around the house. If you’re too scared to poop yourself, use peanut butter.

If that doesn’t work and you need to ramp it up, spread some PB on your hoo-ha before sex, so it gets all over his junk and the sheets. Repeat.

And if you still need more, sit him down and tell him you’ve been having trouble controlling your sphincter so you saw a specialist, who said it’s genetic and will get worse with kids and age. Then start crying and pull down your pants to show you’ve already started wearing adult diapers.

He’ll be so grossed out, he’ll call off the engagement. And since he called things off, you get to keep the ring. Winner winner chicken dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to say no?

Make more money and I will consider it. Otherwise no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best way to cut a cake?

With a knife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of jeans should I buy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found out that my husband slept with my brother on his bachelor party. We got married 2 months ago. They both said they were drunk. What should I do?

Divorce and marry your brother. That will show him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm bored. What could I do to spice up my day?

Have you tried making all spice and sprinkling in your bath water?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of jeans should I buy?

Purchase Link please

[Anonymous]

I need bad advice, but I’m unsure of the topic on which I need the bad advice. Help please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently moved in with my boyfriend. One day, while he was away, I went through his underwear drawer and found the engagement ring he plans to give to me. I also saw that all of his underwear, all of them, every single pair, has skid marks in them. How can a grown man not know how to wipe his own butt properly? When I looked into the future being married to this man, I see only me next to a washing machine washing his dirty underwear for the rest of my life. Nooooooooooo!

I cannot marry this man. Every time I see him I think of only one thing: "doggie diapers". It's over for me. Done. I have absolutely no respect for him and dread the day he proposes because I will want to scream "No, no, HELL NO" and run away but it will break his heart because he says he loves me. I do not love him anymore after seeing his dirty underwear. It is a deal breaker.

What is the best way to extricate myself from this situation so that it's a win-win for everyone?

Pegging, electroshock therapy with water. Instead of donuts try a bagel around your wrist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need bad advice, but I’m unsure of the topic on which I need the bad advice. Help please!

Go wait forever at a bus stop that isn’t on a route anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently moved in with my boyfriend. One day, while he was away, I went through his underwear drawer and found the engagement ring he plans to give to me. I also saw that all of his underwear, all of them, every single pair, has skid marks in them. How can a grown man not know how to wipe his own butt properly? When I looked into the future being married to this man, I see only me next to a washing machine washing his dirty underwear for the rest of my life. Nooooooooooo!

I cannot marry this man. Every time I see him I think of only one thing: "doggie diapers". It's over for me. Done. I have absolutely no respect for him and dread the day he proposes because I will want to scream "No, no, HELL NO" and run away but it will break his heart because he says he loves me. I do not love him anymore after seeing his dirty underwear. It is a deal breaker.

What is the best way to extricate myself from this situation so that it's a win-win for everyone?

Tell him you want to be able to pee in the shower

I wouldn’t tell him. I would just pee in the shower. On his “clean” underwear, use them to wipe yourself. Put them back in the drawer without washing after.


Pocket the ring. Say nothing.