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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recently moved in with my boyfriend.  One day, while he was away, I went through his underwear drawer and found the engagement ring he plans to give to me. I also saw that all of his underwear, all of them, every single pair, has skid marks in them. How can a grown man not know how to wipe his own butt properly?  When I looked into the future being married to this man, I see only me next to a washing machine washing his dirty underwear for the rest of my life. Nooooooooooo!

I cannot marry this man. Every time I see him I think of only one thing: "doggie diapers".  It's over for me.  Done.  I have absolutely no respect for him and dread the day he proposes because I will want to scream "No, no, HELL NO" and run away but it will break his heart because he says he loves me. I do not love him anymore after seeing his dirty underwear. It is a deal breaker.

What is the best way to extricate myself from this situation so that it's a win-win for everyone?[/quote]

Fight fire with fire.

Wait until he proposes, then start leaving your own skid marked undies around the house. If you’re too scared to poop yourself, use peanut butter.

If that doesn’t work and you need to ramp it up, spread some PB on your hoo-ha before sex, so it gets all over his junk and the sheets. Repeat.

And if you still need more, sit him down and tell him you’ve been having trouble controlling your sphincter so you saw a specialist, who said it’s genetic and will get worse with kids and age. Then start crying and pull down your pants to show you’ve already started wearing adult diapers.

He’ll be so grossed out, he’ll call off the engagement. And since he called things off, you get to keep the ring. Winner winner chicken dinner. [/quote]

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