Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

Damn. Brutal.

I have two good friends with autistic kids and one friend which a long term foster placement who has huge emotional issues. These kids are off the charts bananas. I have nothing, but love for them. Spent Thanksgiving with one of the families who has an autistic kid and yes it was a circus, but knowing three families had been great for my rough and tumble boys. We use it as an opportunity to teach grace, acceptance, and patience. I'm particularly proud of hie mature and inclusive my oldest at age 14 is with these very special kids.

However I'm a teacher and can find beauty in every child. Its actually often the most difficult who give me the greatest rewards.

OP, that woman is wretched. Don't waste another second on her. She personifies what is broken with this world.

OP’s kid doesn’t have autism. He’s just LOUD because OP thinks it’s harmless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

Damn. Brutal.

I have two good friends with autistic kids and one friend which a long term foster placement who has huge emotional issues. These kids are off the charts bananas. I have nothing, but love for them. Spent Thanksgiving with one of the families who has an autistic kid and yes it was a circus, but knowing three families had been great for my rough and tumble boys. We use it as an opportunity to teach grace, acceptance, and patience. I'm particularly proud of hie mature and inclusive my oldest at age 14 is with these very special kids.

However I'm a teacher and can find beauty in every child. Its actually often the most difficult who give me the greatest rewards.

OP, that woman is wretched. Don't waste another second on her. She personifies what is broken with this world.

OP’s kid doesn’t have autism. He’s just LOUD because OP thinks it’s harmless.

It is harmless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

No it’s like steering clear of somebody you don’t like. It’s not a big deal but it’s not “unpleasant” ... it’s just not your preference. I prefer loud kids to boring kids, boring would be “unpleasant “ to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

This thread show you how crazy some women are... it’s like they never matured past middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

But in the end she wasn’t good enough for the bday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

But in the end she wasn’t good enough for the bday party.

If a potential guest’s behavior causes other guests to cancel, yes, they should be cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

But in the end she wasn’t good enough for the bday party.

If a potential guest’s behavior causes other guests to cancel, yes, they should be cut.

[Anonymous]

People here who can no longer distinguish between a NT child’s out of control behavior and the manifestations of a condition like autism really worry me.

Your banshee is not exciting. He is causing other people to experience a rise in their BP. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/12/parenting/kid-crying-response.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

But in the end she wasn’t good enough for the bday party.

If a potential guest’s behavior causes other guests to cancel, yes, they should be cut.

I don’t know what mother so invested in their daughters social life by late elementary but it’s kind of creepy and weird. By that age the kids decide who’s coming - not the mother. It’s not about you anymore, Becky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

With my older child, we tried that tactic when it came to a very loud, odd girl who fixated on DD in late ES. We felt sorry for the kid and tried to focus on her good quirks over the headache-inducing, frankly kinda disturbing ones. Then we noticed trying to continue the friendship was causing other children to avoid DD as well as her friend. The final straw was the parents who asked if the girl was also invited to DD’s birthday outing.

This isn’t like someone being racist or ableist. This is people steering clear of unpleasant behavior.

Wait .... so your daughter pretended to be friends with this girl out of pity? And even though she held the pretense that they were friends, you then didn’t bother to invite her to the birthday party? Then you encouraged your daughter to drop the girl so she’ll be accepted by the popular crowd?

There’s an asshole in this story and it’s not the little girl. You are awful. Truly.

Isn’t that compassion? So a child isn’t sitting alone every lunch or always the kid that never gets picked for games? Damned if you do reach out to the screamer everyone else avoids and damned if you don’t.

But in the end she wasn’t good enough for the bday party.

If a potential guest’s behavior causes other guests to cancel, yes, they should be cut.

I don’t know what mother so invested in their daughters social life by late elementary but it’s kind of creepy and weird. By that age the kids decide who’s coming - not the mother. It’s not about you anymore, Becky.

Sorry, OP, my kid isn’t inviting your screamer. He’s not fun for the kids either.

[Anonymous]

None of you know how to properly use Karen and Becky and should stop doing it, because you are embarrassing yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of you know how to properly use Karen and Becky and should stop doing it, because you are embarrassing yourselves.

Ok Amy. Thanks for the tip.