Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d respond with a big f-u personally, and I would not participate in that group going forward. She’s toxic and verbally demeaned your child. Why would you be around her?

What if it's true?

Even if it’s true she shouldn’t have been talking about the child in a group chat. She can talk about him with her husband. 1 trusted friend if he bothers her THAT much. But really he doesn’t, women like her just like to talk shit about others for the sake of it. She was wrong no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, slightly off topic but felt compelled to tell you that when DS was younger he had a friend who drew this sort of remark from parents. He could be exhausting but DS loved him and so did we. This kid is now a young man, excelling in everything he sets his mind to. He has ADHD but age has taught him many coping skills. He's going to live his best life. Just wanted to add a positive to some of the negative.

+1 Keep loving and supporting your kid! This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

Friendships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

You guys are just not lifetime friends, move on so your friends can find good lifetime friends.

I dumped a whole bunch of people when I had kids. You really learn a lot about people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d respond with a big f-u personally, and I would not participate in that group going forward. She’s toxic and verbally demeaned your child. Why would you be around her?

What if it's true?

If it is true for you ... move on to a different friendship so this poor family can find some kind friends.

There are plenty of toxic obnoxious moms, go find them and become friends.

[Anonymous]

"Their kids are boring - they just sit there. Not like my kid - he's really exciting! He's a . . . ventriloquist."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Their kids are boring - they just sit there. Not like my kid - he's really exciting! He's a . . . ventriloquist."

My coworker is an engineer, he was a very quiet kid that kept himself entertained.

Of course he was busy taking apart everything in the house including furniture ... people would sit on it and it would fall apart.

[Anonymous]

OP, if it were me, I would have just said "hey, Larlo's mom here. It's unkind to talk sh*t about other parents' kids on a group text."

Just leave it at that-- your parenting skills, whether your kid is challenging, or other children are better-behaved, etc. is completely beside the point.

Parents shouldn't be badmouthing kids on a group text with other parents. That's the problem.

[Anonymous]

I have a hard time understanding how someone can be a true friend and not accept their child as they are. So what if it's more work for you? Who cares? Model dealing with it for your own kids, and teach your own kids how compassion works. My kids are teens now and I remember some of those challenging kids. Some eventually got diagnosed with significant SNs. Some are doing amazingly well now, in fact turning into superstars. Some are still struggling. Meanwhile, some of the compliant kids are also suffering enormously, especially with anxiety disorders. The point is that many kids go through some aspects of being challenging, and if you want to lean on friends, you need to accept their kids for who they are. Also, from what I've seen, the parents who were the most judgmental and nasty about other kids have ended up with strained and distant relationships with their own kids. Kids watch and they learn who they can trust, and they know when they can't trust their own parents.

OP needs to drop her alcoholic friend with bad judgment. Why waste time with someone like that?

[Anonymous]

She knows you are on the group text. It is a joke of accepting your wild child

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

DP.

There is something wrong with your kind of "spirited" people who think they are entitled to creating noise and chaos for everyone. If you are usually the center of attention because you are too loud/obnoxious, you are not spirited; you are rude and badly behaved.

OP's child is only a child so he has some growing to do. You, on the other hand ...

+100 If the other kids seem boring to the PP, it’s probably because they’ve shut down in the presence of his attention-craving kid.

Lol. Sounds like I struck a nerve with all the parents of boring kids.

FWIW, this was 8 years ago and my DS is now 11. And with his creative spirit, he's been featured many places, in print and television, for his comedy, and ventriloquism.

the other kids are still sitting on the couch, but instead of looking at Dr. Suess books, they're playing Among Us.

I'll stand by my assessment.

And once again, I never even judged those kids! I just correctly acknowledged their lack of creativity.

Wow. I can’t believe you don’t think labeling somebody “boring” isn’t judging somebody.

It's not a judgement. Come on the world needs boring people too.

You can't be serious that you don't get that some people are boring and some are not.

-np

Boring is subjective, not objective. For example, you likely think you're a fascinating individual, but you're boring the crap out of me. See?

Yup. And I subjectively think that ventriloquism is incredibly boring. PP, if you don't think boring is a pejorative word, then you need a refresher in the English language.

FFS, it was a funny little anecdote and the Potomac Karens took offense.

You guys must be fun at parties...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

DP.

There is something wrong with your kind of "spirited" people who think they are entitled to creating noise and chaos for everyone. If you are usually the center of attention because you are too loud/obnoxious, you are not spirited; you are rude and badly behaved.

OP's child is only a child so he has some growing to do. You, on the other hand ...

+100 If the other kids seem boring to the PP, it’s probably because they’ve shut down in the presence of his attention-craving kid.

Lol. Sounds like I struck a nerve with all the parents of boring kids.

FWIW, this was 8 years ago and my DS is now 11. And with his creative spirit, he's been featured many places, in print and television, for his comedy, and ventriloquism.

the other kids are still sitting on the couch, but instead of looking at Dr. Suess books, they're playing Among Us.

I'll stand by my assessment.

And once again, I never even judged those kids! I just correctly acknowledged their lack of creativity.

Wow. I can’t believe you don’t think labeling somebody “boring” isn’t judging somebody.

It's not a judgement. Come on the world needs boring people too.

You can't be serious that you don't get that some people are boring and some are not.

-np

Boring is subjective, not objective. For example, you likely think you're a fascinating individual, but you're boring the crap out of me. See?

Yup. And I subjectively think that ventriloquism is incredibly boring. PP, if you don't think boring is a pejorative word, then you need a refresher in the English language.

FFS, it was a funny little anecdote and the Potomac Karens took offense.

You guys must be fun at parties...

I’m sorry you’re still hurting over this barefoot-in-the-grass incident from 8 years ago. Time to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

Damn. Brutal.

I have two good friends with autistic kids and one friend which a long term foster placement who has huge emotional issues. These kids are off the charts bananas. I have nothing, but love for them. Spent Thanksgiving with one of the families who has an autistic kid and yes it was a circus, but knowing three families had been great for my rough and tumble boys. We use it as an opportunity to teach grace, acceptance, and patience. I'm particularly proud of hie mature and inclusive my oldest at age 14 is with these very special kids.

However I'm a teacher and can find beauty in every child. Its actually often the most difficult who give me the greatest rewards.

OP, that woman is wretched. Don't waste another second on her. She personifies what is broken with this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend I adore, but man is her child a lot to handle. I get where this mom is coming from.

My husband and I know several couples where we really really enjoy the parents and can’t stand the kids. And we always say how we’d see the adults so much more often if we were willing to have their kids over too.

Damn. Brutal.

I have two good friends with autistic kids and one friend which a long term foster placement who has huge emotional issues. These kids are off the charts bananas. I have nothing, but love for them. Spent Thanksgiving with one of the families who has an autistic kid and yes it was a circus, but knowing three families had been great for my rough and tumble boys. We use it as an opportunity to teach grace, acceptance, and patience. I'm particularly proud of hie mature and inclusive my oldest at age 14 is with these very special kids.

However I'm a teacher and can find beauty in every child. Its actually often the most difficult who give me the greatest rewards.

OP, that woman is wretched. Don't waste another second on her. She personifies what is broken with this world.

Exactly, so ouch ugly hate on this thread. The best thing Op can do is stop hanging out with the rude mom. There are plenty of people that love all children.