Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd reply with "+1 to that"

Though, to be fair, I'd make the original comment about my own kid.

I can talk about my kid, but you better not!

Anyway, I wouldn’t assume the other people are like the person who said that. The person who wrote the text doesn’t even know who is on the chat. I’ve heard some people say rude things and just kept quiet or addressed them personally (not as part of a group).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t get in some absurd fight about it but nor would I show up to the event with my child. I would ignore (and continue to work on my child’s behavior.)

I disagree with this. One person makes one comment and now your child has to miss out? (Assuming it’s something the kid wanted to do)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

As a mom of boys (and a girl), I agree that young boys are much harder to handle than young girls, but parenting still plays an enormous part. My boys actually have ADHD but nobody outside the home would guess that. I have very strong expectations on behavior and we only attend things that they can handle. If one is having a bad day for example, they (or maybe all of us) stay home. Or we come home immediately. They know how it works - best behavior only.

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah. I'd reply. In a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd go with "Happy holidays, Suzie! -- Larlo's mom"

This. Do exactly this. Please. It’s the only response. You get the opportunity to stay classy while she melts.

People like that don’t melt. They just dig in and will continue to defend themselves by making a huge deal about how terrible Larlo is.

“People like that?”
She didn’t wish some deathly disease on OP’s kid. It was just some snarky gossiping. We’ve all had those thoughts about someone else’s kid. Totally not okay to post out loud. But let’s not put her in some class of evil or crazy where she will dig in and continue to defend bad mouthing any kid.

Definitely respond OP. You’ve had some good suggestions. Pick one and report back.

It was snarky gossiping about a child, in a way that suggests she’s done it before and the group tolerates it.

I don’t put up with that kind of behavior in my own personal life; and I absolutely would not put up with it when my child is the target. Life is too short to spend time with backbiters.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t reply, but would bring advil and a bottle of wine to the event in question!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

That’s not true. But these people are all complicit in being jerks. I’d find new friends. What bitches. It’s one thing to say that quietly to another person, it’s another to put it in a group text.

If it were me, I might gift her a bottle of wine at the event and say “sorry to rain on your parade with our presence, but just so you know your little angel taught my kid the F word and is a bully like his mother” (or whatever it is her kid did because I’m sure they’re not perfect)

Well, someone is certainly a nightmare here...

As bad as the original comment was, so many of the responses here are 10x worse. I hate to think about what these posters' daughters will be like when they're teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad part is the other participants must have felt the same way or said the same things behind your back for her to even have the gall to say that. None of these people are your friends.

This is what I was thinking. It’s obviously been talked about by them. I would definitely not let it go. If you want to continue to hang out with these people then I’d make a joke like “I’ll bring the wine and Advil” just so she knows that she did a major faux pas.

I do think age of kids here makes a difference. Are they 3 or 8?

[Anonymous]

Nothing you say is going to make her feel bad. Your kid is a wild child, most likely everyone in that text feels the same way.

[Anonymous]

I think I would write back "I'll bring the wine!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

That’s not true. But these people are all complicit in being jerks. I’d find new friends. What bitches. It’s one thing to say that quietly to another person, it’s another to put it in a group text.

If it were me, I might gift her a bottle of wine at the event and say “sorry to rain on your parade with our presence, but just so you know your little angel taught my kid the F word and is a bully like his mother” (or whatever it is her kid did because I’m sure they’re not perfect)

Well, someone is certainly a nightmare here...

As bad as the original comment was, so many of the responses here are 10x worse. I hate to think about what these posters' daughters will be like when they're teenagers.

Wrong. Trash talking a kid is beyond the pale. Calling out the bully is fine. I’m non confrontational so I probably wouldn’t go through with it and sadly, I’d probably just remove everyone on the text from my life outside of whatever school/kid things needed to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

This, OP. Right now he’s a handful, but they include him. I think it says a lot about how much they like you- meaning they like you a lot. PIA kids usually get sidelined. Be very thankful and really observe your son- work with him on things that clearly drive other people crazy. It will make a better life for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad part is the other participants must have felt the same way or said the same things behind your back for her to even have the gall to say that. None of these people are your friends.

THIS. Just stay away from them from now on.

Also, we are in the middle of a pandemic. You shouldn't be getting together with people anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

WTF? No.

[Anonymous]

I would just say what you said here. “Hi X, just saw this. I know Y can be a handful but we love him and appreciate you all including him in this activity.”

Be the bigger person. Anyone who is worth their salt would apologize privately.