If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

In the month of Dec, I tried to initiate sex 8 times.
Of the 8 tries, 4 were rejections (citing too tired). 4 were successful and lead to good sex. DW did not make any initiation attempts in Dec. I am happy to have had sex once a week in Dec. I would like more but it's a start.

I'm planning to do even more around the house to take some load off DW w.r.t. child care. Let's call it an experiment.

[Anonymous]

OP, take her out on dates. Even an overnight at a local hotel can do wonders. Glad you got some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

*down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

The hormones required for breast feeding also contribute to vaginal dryness for many women. Sex hurts. Got it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

The hormones required for breast feeding also contribute to vaginal dryness for many women. Sex hurts. Got it?

Sex hurt YOU. We got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

The hormones required for breast feeding also contribute to vaginal dryness for many women. Sex hurts. Got it?

Sex hurt YOU. We got it.

Sex hurts a lot of breast-feeding women. Run a search on DCUM and google. Sure, you may be in the statistically lucky set that doesn't experience this, but don't think that this is an unusual problem.

[Anonymous]

I would wager that if vaginal dryness is a factor while bf, it was a factor even before. I have never had lubrication issues and bf did not alter my body's reaction to sex in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

The hormones required for breast feeding also contribute to vaginal dryness for many women. Sex hurts. Got it?

Sex hurt YOU. We got it.

Sex hurts a lot of breast-feeding women. Run a search on DCUM and google. Sure, you may be in the statistically lucky set that doesn't experience this, but don't think that this is an unusual problem.

Lots of DCUM thread about women having sex 6 weeks post partum too so??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

In the month of Dec, I tried to initiate sex 8 times.
Of the 8 tries, 4 were rejections (citing too tired). 4 were successful and lead to good sex. DW did not make any initiation attempts in Dec. I am happy to have had sex once a week in Dec. I would like more but it's a start.

I'm planning to do even more around the house to take some load off DW w.r.t. child care. Let's call it an experiment.

I think you are on the right track. Four times a month is once a week, and once a week of good sex? I think that is pretty good with little kids. What I take from this is that the four times your wife did have sex, she actually wanted to have sex.

You are not wrong to want sex from your wife and to want her to initiate. And I'm not making excuses for your wife but I do want to share a perspective: I met my husband at 23. By that point, I had dated guys who were either teens on early 20s. Guys that age, they initiate. They literally don't give you the chance to initiate. There is no time for you to initiate, because young guys just jump your bones. It was honestly a skill I never learned. Is that an excuse? No, but it is an explanation. Old habits take a while to break. It took me years to be able to get comfortable doing it. Sex caused a lot of tension in our marriage (still something we are working on) because my husband's way of dealing with things were very, very passive aggressive, it made initiating extremely hard for me. Not blaming only him, just saying you don't around sex issues through anger and lack of honest communication. Sounds like you know this. Men and women both want sex. This HD/LD has always been BS to me. It changes. I'm super high desire in my late 30s while my husband was super HD in his 20s and now with a stressful job, kids, etc. he is less so.

Sounds like you guys are on the right path. It is comforting to hear other couples go through this and these issues are so common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. In the month of Dec, I tried to initiate sex 8 times. Of the 8 tries, 4 were rejections (citing too tired). 4 were successful and lead to good sex. DW did not make any initiation attempts in Dec. I am happy to have had sex once a week in Dec. I would like more but it's a start. I'm planning to do even more around the house to take some load off DW w.r.t. child care. Let's call it an experiment.

I think you are on the right track. Four times a month is once a week, and once a week of good sex? I think that is pretty good with little kids. What I take from this is that the four times your wife did have sex, she actually wanted to have sex.
You are not wrong to want sex from your wife and to want her to initiate. And I'm not making excuses for your wife but I do want to share a perspective: I met my husband at 23. By that point, I had dated guys who were either teens on early 20s. Guys that age, they initiate. They literally don't give you the chance to initiate. There is no time for you to initiate, because young guys just jump your bones. It was honestly a skill I never learned. Is that an excuse? No, but it is an explanation. Old habits take a while to break. It took me years to be able to get comfortable doing it. Sex caused a lot of tension in our marriage (still something we are working on) because my husband's way of dealing with things were very, very passive aggressive, it made initiating extremely hard for me. Not blaming only him, just saying you don't around sex issues through anger and lack of honest communication. Sounds like you know this. Men and women both want sex. This HD/LD has always been BS to me. It changes. I'm super high desire in my late 30s while my husband was super HD in his 20s and now with a stressful job, kids, etc. he is less so.
Sounds like you guys are on the right path. It is comforting to hear other couples go through this and these issues are so common.

OP here. To be honest, those 4 successful times were initially met with heavy resistance. She game me the usual "What? you want what? I'm trying to sleep" routine. But when we actually got into the act, she was very willing/participative. The 4 rejections were like " no way, I'm tired". even more confusing is this. One evening, i told her I missed her and I was horny, she kissed me and groped me for a second. Then later during bed time, I hugged her and she returned a grope. So I put the kid to sleep (takes time) and when I return to bed (and to what I though was going to be some love making), she complained that I woke her up just as she was falling asleep and proceeded to give the the reluctant routine. I was like...WTH?!?!?!?

Anyways, I will not be initiating sex in January as an experiment. For 2013, I want to work on getting her to initiate but I need a baseline for reference.

[Anonymous]

Careful with the not initiating. It could spiral out of control:

She doesn't initiate. Your mind is clouded and resentful from lack of sex. When you do try to initiate, she resents your resentment. You have self-doubt because of her seeming lack of interest. Rejection makes you more resentful. Rinse. Repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Careful with the not initiating. It could spiral out of control:

She doesn't initiate. Your mind is clouded and resentful from lack of sex. When you do try to initiate, she resents your resentment. You have self-doubt because of her seeming lack of interest. Rejection makes you more resentful. Rinse. Repeat.

Noted. I'll keep that in mind. Plus, there's always the internet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

OP, I will tell you some of the main things that caused my desire to have sex *with my husband* dwindle. This lack of desire with my husband did not mean a lot in desire, overall. I still was horny, but usually masturbated and/or said to hell with it and went to bed. My problems were any of the following:

-I'm sleepy. I LOVE to sleep and I'm a total night owl. Will easily stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning. DH, on the other hand, gets up early for work, so he goes to bed earlier than me. BUT, this means he wakes up "perky" and wants to have sex while I'm operating on less sleep because I stayed up so late. No deal for me. Being woken from a dead sleep is a libido killer for me. That is 95% of the problem when our sex drive stars don't align.

-I get turned off by certain things. Bad breath is a major turn off for me. This usually ties into my first point. If DH wakes up in the morning (or in the middle of the night), chances are his breath isn't too great. That is a total turn-off for me and if I'm not inclined to have sex, it makes it much more likely that I will beg off. Luckily, we have the sort of relationship where we can talk about these things and I've expressed this point to him. Now, he wakes me up with fresh breath and I'm more receptive.

-Like another poster, sometimes I force myself to do it. And in forcing myself, I *get* into it. With me, having sex increases my desire for more sex. If I fall into a rut, it's easy to get stuck and my desire plummets. This doesn't mean I don't get horny. I do; but it's easier for me to just shrug it off.

-For a time, DH was "quick" during sex and I didn't enjoy it as much. That added to my resentment. Sort of a "You woke me/bothered me for *that*?". It's hard to get excited about the possibility of having lackluster and/or quick sex. Seriously, I'd rather be sleeping. While it might be hard, it may be necessary for you to evaluate your skill as a lover. Hopefully, you and your wife have the sort of relationship where you can discuss this openly and without anyone being hurt or feeling defensive.

That's all I got for now. Hopefully, by now you've had some good sex. If you continue to find yourself in a rut and your wife is not receptive to your need for change, I think you should consider seeing a therapist together. I think it's important for you to realize that this is not a hang-up that you need to get over. Sex is hugely important in a marriage and the absence of this intimacy can really cause big problems. Good luck to you and your wife.

Speak for yourself. So long as I was exclusively breast feeding (until DD was 6 - 7 months old), sex was very painful.

\

It must have been like the Sahara done there. What does bf have to do with anything?

The hormones required for breast feeding also contribute to vaginal dryness for many women. Sex hurts. Got it?

Sex hurt YOU. We got it.

Sex hurts a lot of breast-feeding women. Run a search on DCUM and google. Sure, you may be in the statistically lucky set that doesn't experience this, but don't think that this is an unusual problem.

NP here. Sex was painful for me until about 6 months because of dryness, too. All the moms in my breastfeeding group were the same with no exception!

PP with no issues, you are either really lucky or you formula-fed.