If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

[Anonymous]

So much dryness in the house. This phenomenon is very strange to me. Are you not sexually excited? Does your husband "oil the wheels" to combat the dryness? Use lube? Very strange...... I seem to have the opposite problem (if you could call it a problem).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much dryness in the house. This phenomenon is very strange to me. Are you not sexually excited? Does your husband "oil the wheels" to combat the dryness? Use lube? Very strange...... I seem to have the opposite problem (if you could call it a problem).

Are you a guy?

[Anonymous]

" This HD/LD has always been BS to me. It changes."

Not for us. We've been together 20 years. He's always been a once every five days kind of guy. Me? I've always been a "as much as I can get" gal. It was that way in our 20s, still that way in our 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

You just demonstrated the inability to relate to other human beings who have an experience different than yours.

I am HD, and was very much in the mood starting 2 months after birth, but the physical pain made sex impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much dryness in the house. This phenomenon is very strange to me. Are you not sexually excited? Does your husband "oil the wheels" to combat the dryness? Use lube? Very strange...... I seem to have the opposite problem (if you could call it a problem).

Are you a guy?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

You just demonstrated the inability to relate to other human beings who have an experience different than yours.

I am HD, and was very much in the mood starting 2 months after birth, but the physical pain made sex impossible.

Pain from dryness? or what other complication?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

You just demonstrated the inability to relate to other human beings who have an experience different than yours.

I am HD, and was very much in the mood starting 2 months after birth, but the physical pain made sex impossible.

Not so. The pp made it seem like this was a big problem for many women (and seemed to insinuate that the OP's wife was suffering). Just pointing out that not everyone suffers from a dry vag after giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

You just demonstrated the inability to relate to other human beings who have an experience different than yours.

I am HD, and was very much in the mood starting 2 months after birth, but the physical pain made sex impossible.

Not so. The pp made it seem like this was a big problem for many women (and seemed to insinuate that the OP's wife was suffering). Just pointing out that not everyone suffers from a dry vag after giving birth.

It's not the "giving birth" part, it's the BREAST FEEDING. Geez, there are a lot of medically illiterate people on this thread. It's hormones, people. Yes, some women do not experience this while BFing, but many, many women do because of the extremely low estrogen levels that make BFing possible.

[Anonymous]

If I had known that sex would be non-existant I do not think I would have wanted to marry you..........

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

I must have missed the worldwide conference of women during which we appointed you our official spokeswoman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

You just demonstrated the inability to relate to other human beings who have an experience different than yours.

I am HD, and was very much in the mood starting 2 months after birth, but the physical pain made sex impossible.

Not so. The pp made it seem like this was a big problem for many women (and seemed to insinuate that the OP's wife was suffering). Just pointing out that not everyone suffers from a dry vag after giving birth.

It's not the "giving birth" part, it's the BREAST FEEDING. Geez, there are a lot of medically illiterate people on this thread. It's hormones, people. Yes, some women do not experience this while BFing, but many, many women do because of the extremely low estrogen levels that make BFing possible.

Well, of course I know we're talking about bf..which occurs after giving birth. Geez. Why are you so tightly wound about this? Never heard of this bf/dry vag thing. Especially something that can't be cured with medicine and/or a good lube to ease any discomfort. Not saying it doesn't happen, but pp made it seem like it was a foregone conclusion that post-partum Moms were being tortured during sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting thread and some great discussion. One thing that strikes me is that LD folks are incredibly defensive. I will assume it's out of guilt.

I've been HD/LD at different times in my 10 year marriage (together for 20). The idea that it takes 4-6 months to "recover" from childbirth is very strange to me. While your desire might not come roaring back full forth, the idea that women find sex painful and undesirable for that long of a period is a cop-out.

I must have missed the worldwide conference of women during which we appointed you our official spokeswoman.

You should have attended. You missed the session on "how to avoid dry vag while breastfeeding".

[Anonymous]

No.

We have no kids. DW's moodiness turned out to be depression/anxiety that has been successfully medicated for 20+ yrs.

The price for which has been that she has nearly no sex drive, whereas I am still a HD guy who has never been unfaithful to her ... maybe I take the "for better or for worse..." part more seriously than some do, we love each other & are great friends but the lack of intimacy and relying on taking care of my own needs is a huge drag and I think many people would have bailed by now.

If I were a different sort of person I'd have tried to work out an arrangement but the fact is, she's the one I want get lusty with (still after knowing her 31 yrs.), so having some on the side wouldn't work for me (I don't think).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

In the month of Dec, I tried to initiate sex 8 times.
Of the 8 tries, 4 were rejections (citing too tired). 4 were successful and lead to good sex. DW did not make any initiation attempts in Dec. I am happy to have had sex once a week in Dec. I would like more but it's a start.

I'm planning to do even more around the house to take some load off DW w.r.t. child care. Let's call it an experiment.

pp here ... I'd kill to get laid 4x a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

In the month of Dec, I tried to initiate sex 8 times.
Of the 8 tries, 4 were rejections (citing too tired). 4 were successful and lead to good sex. DW did not make any initiation attempts in Dec. I am happy to have had sex once a week in Dec. I would like more but it's a start.

I'm planning to do even more around the house to take some load off DW w.r.t. child care. Let's call it an experiment.

pp here ... I'd kill to get laid 4x a month.

OP here. If you need support and don't already have an outlet, www.talkaboutmarriage.com