Ex boyfriend is lying about being engaged

[Anonymous]

So a bit of a back story- my ex and I broke up 2 years ago but still talk. He started dating the girl he cheated on me with about a month after we broke up and we didn't talk for awhile after that. We started talking again about 6 months after we broke up and now talk about 2-3 times a day, EVERY single day. We are really close still and I consider him one of my best friends but the one issue we have is his current girl friend. He started talking to her online when we were still together. We broke up and he started dating her about 2 months later. I didn't find out about him dating her until 2 months after the fact because 1) we weren't really talking much and 2) he denied it until I had physical proof. I'm still friends with his sister on social media accounts (fb & Twitter) and about 7 months ago, she posted "I'm finally going to have a sister!" on twitter. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't know what she was talking about and that it wasn't true so I let it go. Well fast forward to about a week ago and I just had a feeling that it was true. I looked his new gf up on FB and low and behold, I can see "A**** is engaged to S****". I also can see some stuff on her timeline and one of them is a picture of a ring on her finger from MARCH with her updating her relationship to engaged. I called him right away and asked him about it and he's flat out denying it. He's saying he's not engaged and that it's not true and that he would tell me if it was true and blah blah blah. I actually got really upset when I saw her thing say that he was engaged. For awhile when we first started talking again, I still cared about him but I got over that after a while and we truly were just good friends. But the fact that me seeing her account saying "engaged", actually made me break down and cry and now I'm questioning my true feelings. We were together for almost 6 years and I thought that it would be me one day posting that him and I were engaged. I've been really upset about this for over a week now and we've been arguing about it and every time I bring it up, he says it's not true. I obviously don't believe him at all but have kind of let it go because I don't know what else to do? One of my friends says that he's a sociopath and a crazy liar and another friend says he's either flat out lying or that maybe they were engaged and broke it off but then that would make no sense of why it still says she's engaged to him. Can anyone give me any input here? There obviously is no other explanation for this then that he is lying but I don't get why he would just lie to me about this. He get's SO mad every time I bring it up now because he's frustrated that I don't believe him. It just makes no sense at all and I'm almost to the point of just ending our friendship because the fact that he would lie to me about being engaged for SEVEN months is just unbelievable.

Sorry for the long post but I would love to hear from anyone on their thoughts!!

[Anonymous]

Isn't it past your bedtime, dear?

[Anonymous]

He's lying to you because he likes having your attention. He knows you still have feelings for him, it strokes his ego to have you waiting in the wings for him, and he knows that if he confirms they're engaged, you might cut off the "friendship." And he's getting mad because he has no real explanation/defense, so he's putting it back on you to make you feel crazy (ever heard of gas lighting?)/ If they had been engaged and called it off, he would have told you that. And if he was never engaged to her at all, do you really think he's going to keep dating someone who goes to such lengths to lie to the rest of the world about them being engaged?

Please end this friendship. It's only hurting you, and he wouldn't string you along like this if he really cared about you and respected you.

[Anonymous]

This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

[Anonymous]

He's a dishonest person who'll never be faithful to any woman. You dodged a bullet. Move on and find someone else, hopefully one who won't be chatting with an ex multiple times a day.

[Anonymous]

Why are you putting your energy into a "friendship" with you ex bf? He is engaged to someone else. Stop all contact and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

+1. You sound like an obsessed stalker. He enjoys your company because you are an ego boost. That's it. He isn't interested in you at all. Move on and cut contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it past your bedtime, dear?

OP here: I'm 26 so not too sure where you are going with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it past your bedtime, dear?

OP here: I'm 26 so not too sure where you are going with that.

NP here: You sound really young. And immature. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

OP Here: Really? We talk 2-3 time's a day. He calls me every morning after he wakes up and every afternoon on his way to work and then again at night when he gets off work and is on his way home. We talk about EVERYTHING. If he has a bad day at work or family issues, he calls me to discuss them and ask me for advice. I've always been the person he tells things to (since we were 17) and he still looks at me as that person. For you to say I am "obsessed" and to "leave him alone" is a bit out there. I am not FORCING him to talk to me every day or at all. We've remained in eachothers lives because we care about each other and have been friends for 9 years. Obviously I know he is engaged and I'm just baffled that he would lie about it to me. He's complained to me about her in the past and issues they have had so idk what is going on but I think there is a bigger reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it past your bedtime, dear?

OP here: I'm 26 so not too sure where you are going with that.

NP here: You sound really young. And immature. Move on.

OP here: Again, I'm 26 but thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

+1. You sound like an obsessed stalker. He enjoys your company because you are an ego boost. That's it. He isn't interested in you at all. Move on and cut contact.

OP Here: lol yes, I'm such an obsessed stalker...that's why he calls me every day and we talk every day and he talks to me about work issues and family issues and bad days, etc. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

OP Here: Really? We talk 2-3 time's a day. He calls me every morning after he wakes up and every afternoon on his way to work and then again at night when he gets off work and is on his way home. We talk about EVERYTHING. If he has a bad day at work or family issues, he calls me to discuss them and ask me for advice. I've always been the person he tells things to (since we were 17) and he still looks at me as that person. For you to say I am "obsessed" and to "leave him alone" is a bit out there. I am not FORCING him to talk to me every day or at all. We've remained in eachothers lives because we care about each other and have been friends for 9 years. Obviously I know he is engaged and I'm just baffled that he would lie about it to me. He's complained to me about her in the past and issues they have had so idk what is going on but I think there is a bigger reason.

Well, honestly you don't talk about everything if he won't even admit that he is engaged to you. You are fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's lying to you because he likes having your attention. He knows you still have feelings for him, it strokes his ego to have you waiting in the wings for him, and he knows that if he confirms they're engaged, you might cut off the "friendship." And he's getting mad because he has no real explanation/defense, so he's putting it back on you to make you feel crazy (ever heard of gas lighting?)/ If they had been engaged and called it off, he would have told you that. And if he was never engaged to her at all, do you really think he's going to keep dating someone who goes to such lengths to lie to the rest of the world about them being engaged?

Please end this friendship. It's only hurting you, and he wouldn't string you along like this if he really cared about you and respected you.

OP here: Thank you for not being a bitch with your response like others. I get what you are saying and I do think a big reason is that he is scared I will stop talking to him and that he won't have me anymore because he tells me all the time how important a person I am in his life and how he wouldn't get through half the stuff he get's through without me in his life. I'm the first person he calls when he has a good day or a bad day or gets good news, etc. We've been best friends for 9 years. But at the same time, lying isn't okay and if he is going to think it's okay to lie to me, I don't want a friendship like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

OP Here: Really? We talk 2-3 time's a day. He calls me every morning after he wakes up and every afternoon on his way to work and then again at night when he gets off work and is on his way home. We talk about EVERYTHING. If he has a bad day at work or family issues, he calls me to discuss them and ask me for advice. I've always been the person he tells things to (since we were 17) and he still looks at me as that person. For you to say I am "obsessed" and to "leave him alone" is a bit out there. I am not FORCING him to talk to me every day or at all. We've remained in eachothers lives because we care about each other and have been friends for 9 years. Obviously I know he is engaged and I'm just baffled that he would lie about it to me. He's complained to me about her in the past and issues they have had so idk what is going on but I think there is a bigger reason.

Well, honestly you don't talk about everything if he won't even admit that he is engaged to you. You are fooling yourself.

OP here: I know that which is why I posted asking for advice. I'm not fooling myself at all because I KNOW he is lying. I am not sitting here saying that I don't think he is engaged because I KNOW he is. My issue is not knowing why he is lying to me about it. He knows that eventually the truth will come out if he keeps lying but he swears up and down that he isn't engaged and that he is just focused on his new career and that I "need" to believe him.