Ex boyfriend is lying about being engaged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you admit you send him pics and said because it's fun, right?

Yeah, OP, you have been proven wrong on that point.

Looking for the admission that you were wrong...

Oh, wait - I bet you are one of those people who can never admit she is wrong. Good luck with therapy. You do need it!

Can you admit that you are a bitch who hides behind her computer being all brave and high and mighty? When you admit to that...... hahahaha

I am not being a bitch, although I am feeling rather snarky and arrogant. I personally think it is hilarious that you challenge people to "find where I said that" and then refuse to acknowledge that people did just that. It doesn't require bravery to point out that you are full of crap. Your story, your reactions, your inability to admit when you are wrong - all suggest that you have a personality disorder. Your sad attempts at ad hominem attacks against anyone who calls you out on your b.s. just confirm that you are one seriously screwed-up young woman. When you are clearly wrong - and caught in a mistake - you need to learn how to address it and move on - not just attack the people who were right. That doesn't suddenly negate their being right. And when you scream "bitch" in response to being called out, you make yourself look immature and, to be frank, intellectually challenged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what you have with your ex is an emotional affair. No one's really going to consider it one (or care) while he has a girlfriend, but if he were an honest guy, he would have toned his "friendship" with you way down once he got engaged. Calling first thing in the morning, being the person he goes to when he's had a big day - that's taking away from his actual relationship with his fiance. He can't start a marriage like that - or at least, he shouldn't be trying. She's the one who's supposed to share the journey of life with him. The fact that he's coming to you instead, but simultaneously maintaining and advancing in his relationship with her just means that he wants to have his cake & eat it too. He's not an honest guy. You need a break. Back off for a bit, gain some perspective. Once you've re-established your other support systems in life, you'll realize that you didn't need him and that he was holding you back from finding the right guy, because he was half-occupying that role for you. Free up the space.

I say all of this as some one whose "best friend" got engaged and didn't tell me. When I found out, our friendship changed and I mourned what we had, but finally was able to meet the right guy when I let go of the one who was never really mine anyway.

OP Here: Thank you PP. I really do appreciate your advice. The PP's who have actually given helpful advice, have really helped me see some things that I didn't even see before. I do have A LOT to think about. I would love for him and I to remain friends but I am starting to see why this is probably not the healthiest option for me so again, thank you.

I get where you're coming from and it's really confusing to be in this odd state, where your emotions are all intertwined because you rely on this person like you would with a SO, but there's nothing physical, even if there are flirtatious moments. It's a confusing situation to be in. You're not in a real relationship, yet you're not fully available like a normal single person - and the guy wants to keep it confusing. That's why he's not telling you the truth. Whether he's engaged or not, you know he's not yours. Yet you're giving him so much of yourself and we only have so much emotional bandwidth to offer, so there's not much left to give another guy who's actually available. So your Ex, like my former best friend did, has the benefit of keeping you on hold when you aren't available enough to have a real relationship of our own. It's BS. You deserve better. Best of luck to you and I hope you find the right guy soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you admit you send him pics and said because it's fun, right?

Yeah, OP, you have been proven wrong on that point.

Looking for the admission that you were wrong...

Oh, wait - I bet you are one of those people who can never admit she is wrong. Good luck with therapy. You do need it!

Can you admit that you are a bitch who hides behind her computer being all brave and high and mighty? When you admit to that...... hahahaha

I am not being a bitch, although I am feeling rather snarky and arrogant. I personally think it is hilarious that you challenge people to "find where I said that" and then refuse to acknowledge that people did just that. It doesn't require bravery to point out that you are full of crap. Your story, your reactions, your inability to admit when you are wrong - all suggest that you have a personality disorder. Your sad attempts at ad hominem attacks against anyone who calls you out on your b.s. just confirm that you are one seriously screwed-up young woman. When you are clearly wrong - and caught in a mistake - you need to learn how to address it and move on - not just attack the people who were right. That doesn't suddenly negate their being right. And when you scream "bitch" in response to being called out, you make yourself look immature and, to be frank, intellectually challenged.

Did you not see where she admitted to going along with it months ago? Maybe you should actually read some of the posts instead of sock puppeting again and again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you admit you send him pics and said because it's fun, right?

Yeah, OP, you have been proven wrong on that point.

Looking for the admission that you were wrong...

Oh, wait - I bet you are one of those people who can never admit she is wrong. Good luck with therapy. You do need it!

Can you admit that you are a bitch who hides behind her computer being all brave and high and mighty? When you admit to that...... hahahaha

I am not being a bitch, although I am feeling rather snarky and arrogant. I personally think it is hilarious that you challenge people to "find where I said that" and then refuse to acknowledge that people did just that. It doesn't require bravery to point out that you are full of crap. Your story, your reactions, your inability to admit when you are wrong - all suggest that you have a personality disorder. Your sad attempts at ad hominem attacks against anyone who calls you out on your b.s. just confirm that you are one seriously screwed-up young woman. When you are clearly wrong - and caught in a mistake - you need to learn how to address it and move on - not just attack the people who were right. That doesn't suddenly negate their being right. And when you scream "bitch" in response to being called out, you make yourself look immature and, to be frank, intellectually challenged.

Did you not see where she admitted to going along with it months ago? Maybe you should actually read some of the posts instead of sock puppeting again and again

She admitted it while I was typing my long response, but well after she had been called out.

And I am no sock puppet. I'm not even one of the posters who went back and discovered her error. Nor was I one of the first to call her out on it. I joined after her attacks on others.

[Anonymous]

OP stinks and ex left her cause she refused to shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you currently have a boyfriend? Have you had a boyfriend since the two of you broke up?

Op here: no, I don't currently have a boyfriend. I started dating a guy 2 months after my ex and I broke up and we dated for about 6 months but it just wasn't what I wanted. I dated another guy for about 5-6 months after him but found out he didn't want kids ever and that's not something im willing to compromise on. I've been single for the last 9-10 months but by choice. I'm going through some medical things right now so I'm trying to focus on all of that before I even consider dating again.

Psychiatric apparently. GL with your medical issues. Is he there for you while you go through this? Or just bust asking for nude pix of you, which you willingly send b/c it's "fun"?

OP Here: It's really fun to be all big and brave and a bitch online when no one knows who you are huh? Please show me where I said that I send him pics and that it's "fun"? I'd love to see where I posted that.

Page 2. Here is what you wrote:

OP Here: Honestly? No. Did I at some point? Yes. For a year after we broke up and they were together, we talked about us getting back together. We knew that there was a lot we would have to work on but we talked about it A LOT. He wasn't happy with her for awhile. He would sneak outside at 11:00, 12:00 at night and call me from the balcony of their apartment and talk to me for an hour and we would just talk about trying to make it work. That ended though because we just kept getting into arguments about stupid things and the biggest thing was that I wasn't willing to move to where he re located to (Texas) and that was always an issue with us so we just went back to being "friends". However, us being "friends" has always been a flirtatious thing. He STILL to this day texts me asking me to send him "pictures" and he will ask me what I am wearing and things like that. I go along with it because it's fun but I am past the point of wanting us to work out again because we just work out better as friends. As for why it matters to me? Well because we tell eachother every thing and the fact that he would lie to me about something like that, pisses me off to be honest. And also...if he's engaged..he shouldn't be asking me for certain pics and saying certain things. Sure it wasn't okay when he had a gf but if he's really engaged..it's DEFINITELY not okay now.

aww wow someone has nothing to do huh? The shit that you guys fall for on this board is amazing lmao

Are you saying that that PP is someone else pretending to be OP? Because that wall of text is definitely the OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, whether you want to believe it, accept it, or not.... You're the ore woman. Plain and simple. He is lying to you because that's what people in affairs do. They lie to their current partner, and they lie to their affair partner, all so that they can continue to have their cake and eat it too.

Sorry dear, you're plan B. You're the one that he is going to emotionally leach from so that you have no energy for anyone else, without the benefit to you of actually having a relationship with or marrying YOU.

Now, you're not completely innocent either. Anyone with any awareness in life knows it's not exactly right to talk to someone else's partner in secret 2 or 3 times a day. BFFs of the same or opposite gender know their friends partner, hang out with both of them. They freely call their friend in front of their partners, and when friend calls, they call the house and the partner may answer. There's no frequent clandestine "on the way home from work" or late night calls when partner is asleep.

So, your choices are: acknowledge you're in an emotional affair (which I think you knew anyway, and the life experienced folks on DCUM sniffed out) and continue with it, or you can cut ties.

If you're looking for people to tell you that he lied to you because he's still in love with you, and it's all like a rom com, this was probably the wrong board to post on. No one is going to help you justify your actions in participating in an affair.

Get some life experience under your belt, and you'll understand that this kind of scenario plays itself out all the time. You can choose to play, or you can choose to run your life under honest pretences.

[Anonymous]

Ore= other. Although fiancée may agree more with ore if she knew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...again: I was going to stop posting but the one or two people who just won't stop are getting really really annoying. Did I used to enjoy and go along with it when he would ask for pics or want to have certain convos? Sure I did. The thought that she clearly wasn't making him happy in certain ways and he had to come to me for it did make me happy for awhile but you know what? I got past that. We are talking about a break up that happened 2 years ago and all of this was happening over 9 months ago...which I did say.

To the PP's who have been in my shoes or who actually offered helpful advice, THANK YOU. Hearing others stories, does really make me think. I can see why this really is unhealthy for me. I was blinded by a 9 year friendship for awhile and didn't want to give that up but I also don't want to just be the person he comes to because he's not happy with her or whatever. I do feel bad for her. She clearly is clueless to all of this and is going to go on and marry him but what do I do? I'm not going to reach out to her and tell her what has happened or what he says. I feel like that is something she needs to figure out on her own. I just don't want to be his "side person" anymore and I am starting to realize that more and more. It sucks to lose a 9 year friendship but I guess that is part of growing up.

OP, glad to hear you're thinking about moving on. I know it will be difficult but you will be better off for it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I can't read all of this because it's too stupid but for god's sake, I don't send nudes to any of my guy friends, even the ones who saw me naked when we dated in the past.

And funny how she bashes 35+ moms on this forum when she is the one who came here for advice. Thinking before posting is never a bad idea but if one has no critical thinking skills I guess that would be tough.

[Anonymous]

Op....keep us posted! Let us know if he finally admits he's getting married or if you stop talking to him.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Look for posting title "my ex got married and I didnt get invited "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for posting title "my ex got married and I didnt get invited "

Holy shit lady, stop sock puppeting this thread and go spend some time with your kids. Damn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for posting title "my ex got married and I didnt get invited "

Holy shit lady, stop sock puppeting this thread and go spend some time with your kids. Damn

I am not the person to whom you are responding, but really? You have access to Jeff's computer and can tell that only one person is posting?

Or could it just be that you don't like what they are saying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for posting title "my ex got married and I didnt get invited "

Holy shit lady, stop sock puppeting this thread and go spend some time with your kids. Damn

Huh? That was my first post on this entire sorry thread . And I Sah so wrong on both counts