Ex boyfriend is lying about being engaged

[Anonymous]

Whoops ~sex~

[Anonymous]

Grow up, quit taking his calls and learn how to make a damn paragraph!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason why he's only talking to you on his commute. He doesn't want his fiancé to know. He is lying to her.

He is still talking to you bc he likes the attention. It makes him feel good to know he could still have you back. You need to move on.

OP Here: He says that she knows we still talk but I don't believe him at all. He does talk to me when he's home but I know that's only when she's not around. Otherwise, he goes to the grocery store, etc. and we talk.

Why are you so close with A: a guy who cheated on you. B: a guy that continues to lie to you. C: CLEARLY has a #1 woman in his life--you're like his backup.

You make it sound like it's all him wanting to maintain this relationship: HE calls ME three times a day. Um, stop answering your effing phone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This man is your ex for a reason. He has moved on and now has a fiancé. He doesn't owe you any type of explanation. I'm worried why you care that this ex ( who you broke up with) is engaged to someone else. Honestly you sound obsessed and I think he is trying to be private. It isn't any of your business and he doesn't need to tell you anything. Please move on and leave this man alone.

OP Here: Really? We talk 2-3 time's a day. He calls me every morning after he wakes up and every afternoon on his way to work and then again at night when he gets off work and is on his way home. We talk about EVERYTHING. If he has a bad day at work or family issues, he calls me to discuss them and ask me for advice. I've always been the person he tells things to (since we were 17) and he still looks at me as that person. For you to say I am "obsessed" and to "leave him alone" is a bit out there. I am not FORCING him to talk to me every day or at all. We've remained in eachothers lives because we care about each other and have been friends for 9 years. Obviously I know he is engaged and I'm just baffled that he would lie about it to me. He's complained to me about her in the past and issues they have had so idk what is going on but I think there is a bigger reason.

Well, honestly you don't talk about everything if he won't even admit that he is engaged to you. You are fooling yourself.

OP here: I know that which is why I posted asking for advice. I'm not fooling myself at all because I KNOW he is lying. I am not sitting here saying that I don't think he is engaged because I KNOW he is. My issue is not knowing why he is lying to me about it. He knows that eventually the truth will come out if he keeps lying but he swears up and down that he isn't engaged and that he is just focused on his new career and that I "need" to believe him.

Why does it matter why? He is lying to you. That's all you need to know. Are you hoping for a reconciliation?

OP Here: Honestly? No. Did I at some point? Yes. For a year after we broke up and they were together, we talked about us getting back together. We knew that there was a lot we would have to work on but we talked about it A LOT. He wasn't happy with her for awhile. He would sneak outside at 11:00, 12:00 at night and call me from the balcony of their apartment and talk to me for an hour and we would just talk about trying to make it work. That ended though because we just kept getting into arguments about stupid things and the biggest thing was that I wasn't willing to move to where he re located to (Texas) and that was always an issue with us so we just went back to being "friends". However, us being "friends" has always been a flirtatious thing. He STILL to this day texts me asking me to send him "pictures" and he will ask me what I am wearing and things like that. I go along with it because it's fun but I am past the point of wanting us to work out again because we just work out better as friends. As for why it matters to me? Well because we tell eachother every thing and the fact that he would lie to me about something like that, pisses me off to be honest. And also...if he's engaged..he shouldn't be asking me for certain pics and saying certain things. Sure it wasn't okay when he had a gf but if he's really engaged..it's DEFINITELY not okay now.

You're as psycho as he is. No, he shouldn't be asking you for certain pictures, but did it ever occur to you that maybe you shouldn't send them. If he asked you to jump in the sack you'd do it in a heartbeat, admit it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason why he's only talking to you on his commute. He doesn't want his fiancé to know. He is lying to her.

He is still talking to you bc he likes the attention. It makes him feel good to know he could still have you back. You need to move on.

OP Here: He says that she knows we still talk but I don't believe him at all. He does talk to me when he's home but I know that's only when she's not around. Otherwise, he goes to the grocery store, etc. and we talk.

Why are you so close with A: a guy who cheated on you. B: a guy that continues to lie to you. C: CLEARLY has a #1 woman in his life--you're like his backup.

You make it sound like it's all him wanting to maintain this relationship: HE calls ME three times a day. Um, stop answering your effing phone!

OP Here: holy shit for the 5498609486 time. I don't give a shit if I am not his #1 or whatever you want to call it. I am not looking to be his number 1 at all. We are FRIENDS, that is IT. My whole reasoning for posting this was seeing what everyone thought about him lying about being engaged and why he would lie. I am not sitting here saying "omg I want him back so badly please help" because that is not the case. So you continuing to say "he has moved on" blah blah, really doesn't matter because I DONT CARE.

[Anonymous]

OP, you said you were mad at the ex's girlfriend for talking to him behind your back. Yet you are most likely talking to him behind *her* back because I'm sure that he isn't telling her the truth about you. So what if he is the one calling you? You need to woman up and take some responsibility for allowing an inappropriately secret relationship to flourish behind the fiancee's back.

Sorry, I know that's not the answer you wanted and it was for a question you didn't ask. But it doesn't matter if you don't want him back as a boyfriend, he is treating you like a secret lover and you are allowing it to continue. You are not being responsible here.

[Anonymous]

This is really just sad. So sorry to read this whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason why he's only talking to you on his commute. He doesn't want his fiancé to know. He is lying to her.

He is still talking to you bc he likes the attention. It makes him feel good to know he could still have you back. You need to move on.

OP Here: He says that she knows we still talk but I don't believe him at all. He does talk to me when he's home but I know that's only when she's not around. Otherwise, he goes to the grocery store, etc. and we talk.

So, basically, you're the other woman.

OP Here: I mean, is that really the right way of putting it? He's not cheating on her with me. We've been friends for 9 years and her and I just don't like each other at all. I feel like I am justified in my opinion because of the fact that she knew he was with me and didn't give a shit and kept trying to pursue him. She very well could know that we talk but I don't really think she does because to be honest, what girl is going to be okay with their fiancé or boyfriend or whatever talking to their ex 2-3 times a day but idk.

So he chose her over you?

[Anonymous]

OP, do you currently have a boyfriend? Have you had a boyfriend since the two of you broke up?

[Anonymous]

He lies because you're just the type of young dumb broad be bewildered by the deceit instead of appalled. OP you have a perfect combination of ignorance and naïveté that makes you perfectly suited to be his spare tire, or as you like to believe - his friend. He lies because your dumb ass won't call him on it or confront him about it and because you'll make the perfect excuse for when he f%ks up with his fiancée. He lies about being engaged because you let him lie to you, because you'd put up with anything he did because you're still head over heels for him. You're literally clinging to the leg of a man about to board a ship bound for Matrimony...

Let
Him
Go

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how he can be such a great friend if he lies so much. If you substitute 'she' for 'he', it makes it even more bewildering why you would be 'friends' with someone like him. Even though you deny any romantic/sexual interest on your part, you've got to be fucking stupid to think he believes you're just a 'friend'.

[Anonymous]

The answer seems blatantly obvious to me. He lies because he knows he has an inmapriopriate relationship with you.

You are obsessed with the lie because you are having an emotional affair with him.

Eventually you will learn that as an adult there are no reasons to stay emotionally close to an ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I just read all of your previous posts OP. I hope you are drunk (not that being intoxicated excuses your wild posts). I am glad your ex has moved on.

Seek help. You really, really, REALLY need it.

OP Here: the level of bitchiness on his forum is amazing. Funny how people grow some big balls when they get to hide behind their computer and be anonymous.

IMO it is not bitchiness to respond to your question about this scenario by pointing out that you are inexplicably continuing to feel so close to, and carry on what may be an emotional relationship with, someone who appears to clearly be lying to you about a central fact of his life.

THAT's the inexplicable immaturity that people are noticing and on which they're commenting.

You, OTOH, receive that information/observation as bitchiness. That (IMO) is another indicator of immaturity.

As to the ex, the only plausible advice I can offer is DTMF, he's not worthy of your time or friendship, he's a manipulator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason why he's only talking to you on his commute. He doesn't want his fiancé to know. He is lying to her.

He is still talking to you bc he likes the attention. It makes him feel good to know he could still have you back. You need to move on.

OP Here: He says that she knows we still talk but I don't believe him at all. He does talk to me when he's home but I know that's only when she's not around. Otherwise, he goes to the grocery store, etc. and we talk.

Why are you so close with A: a guy who cheated on you. B: a guy that continues to lie to you. C: CLEARLY has a #1 woman in his life--you're like his backup.

You make it sound like it's all him wanting to maintain this relationship: HE calls ME three times a day. Um, stop answering your effing phone!

OP Here: holy shit for the 5498609486 time. I don't give a shit if I am not his #1 or whatever you want to call it. I am not looking to be his number 1 at all. We are FRIENDS, that is IT. My whole reasoning for posting this was seeing what everyone thought about him lying about being engaged and why he would lie. I am not sitting here saying "omg I want him back so badly please help" because that is not the case. So you continuing to say "he has moved on" blah blah, really doesn't matter because I DONT CARE.

Why do you want to be friends with such a liar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer seems blatantly obvious to me. He lies because he knows he has an inmapriopriate relationship with you.

You are obsessed with the lie because you are having an emotional affair with him.

Eventually you will learn that as an adult there are no reasons to stay emotionally close to an ex.

+1

Why not out him to her, since you care so much about this inappropriate relationship? Take screen shots of your call history, as well as text history (especially the asking for pics part) and message them to her on FB?

If you are looking to stir the pot, there you go. Maybe she'll dump him and you can have him back. He sounds like such a great prize.