How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.

I’m pretty sure that is one of the crazy anti-redshirters. Your logic won’t work on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.

I’m pretty sure that is one of the crazy anti-redshirters. Your logic won’t work on her.

Probably coming off her most recent ban. Probably won't be with us much longer crying at this rate.

[Anonymous]

June bday, girl, red shirted and there was no advantage and no disadvantage. Being chronologically one of the oldest provided no advantage.

[Anonymous]

If the kid falls in norm range of height and academics, it probably won’t matter.

I clearly remember this one girl when I was in elementary who got breasts when I was in 5th grade. I knew she was a year older. I felt sorry for her. She used to walk around holding her shirt out, like that would somehow hide that she had boobs.

My son has a friend who was redshirted and he is smart and athletic. He is a total cocky ass and I can’t help but think he should just be in the grade he should be in. He literally goes around calling other kids stupid and tells other boys how much they suck at sports. My son is in 6th grade. The boy should be in middle school.

We know lots of kids who were October oe November birthdays who aren’t redshirted and fine.

My daughter has a girl who was redshirted and kid is bored with behavioral issues. I really wish the parents would move the girl to her correct grade. It is painful for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid falls in norm range of height and academics, it probably won’t matter.

I clearly remember this one girl when I was in elementary who got breasts when I was in 5th grade. I knew she was a year older. I felt sorry for her. She used to walk around holding her shirt out, like that would somehow hide that she had boobs.

My son has a friend who was redshirted and he is smart and athletic. He is a total cocky ass and I can’t help but think he should just be in the grade he should be in. He literally goes around calling other kids stupid and tells other boys how much they suck at sports. My son is in 6th grade. The boy should be in middle school.

We know lots of kids who were October oe November birthdays who aren’t redshirted and fine.

My daughter has a girl who was redshirted and kid is bored with behavioral issues. I really wish the parents would move the girl to her correct grade. It is painful for all.

You know that there are lots of other things that come into play with girls and puberty, right? Also there's a wide range for when puberty starts, typically 8-13. Breasts in 5th grade is totally normal. Your memory must be shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid falls in norm range of height and academics, it probably won’t matter.

I clearly remember this one girl when I was in elementary who got breasts when I was in 5th grade. I knew she was a year older. I felt sorry for her. She used to walk around holding her shirt out, like that would somehow hide that she had boobs.

My son has a friend who was redshirted and he is smart and athletic. He is a total cocky ass and I can’t help but think he should just be in the grade he should be in. He literally goes around calling other kids stupid and tells other boys how much they suck at sports. My son is in 6th grade. The boy should be in middle school.

We know lots of kids who were October oe November birthdays who aren’t redshirted and fine.

My daughter has a girl who was redshirted and kid is bored with behavioral issues. I really wish the parents would move the girl to her correct grade. It is painful for all.

Maybe the child has behavioral issues that have nothing to do with boredom, and that’s why she was redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loves it. Probably one of the best decisions we ever made for her (August 18th birthday with September 1st cutoff). I was sent on time (October 22nd- cutoff was Dec 31 where I grew up) and HATED it. So that made our decision easier.

My birthday is 10/23 and I went on time with a 12/31 cutoff and I don’t think it affected me at all.

[Anonymous]

Spouse started K as a four year old and feels that it had a negative impact on him socially and he wish he had been held back.

[Anonymous]

Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

You sound jealous.

My kids have very high grades and they. It’s started on time, so there isn’t really any reason for jealousy. People can be annoyed with obnoxious bragging having nothing to do with jealousy as an emotion….sometimes people are just reacting to poor behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

You sound jealous.

My kids have very high grades and they. It’s started on time, so there isn’t really any reason for jealousy. People can be annoyed with obnoxious bragging having nothing to do with jealousy as an emotion….sometimes people are just reacting to poor behavior.

Why are they giving advice to you about your kid then? If things are going great there's nothing to "throw in your face". Surely you can be happy for them that they have it as good as you do?

[Anonymous]

Redshirted late august girl. 8th grader now. All good. No social issues. More confident academically. Never saw the downside - still don’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

Good God you people are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.

I’m pretty sure that is one of the crazy anti-redshirters. Your logic won’t work on her.

There is data on both sides. However you are looking at it only from holding kids back and needing to justify it and cannot stay on topic which is how do kids feel about it? I could put data up but that is not the topic. You can always google.