How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course most redshirters have a higher socioeconomic status. That's just common sense - they can afford another year of preschool or daycare (or another year of a SAHM.) As the parent of two non-redshirted kids, it doesn't bother me. I don't find the redshirted kids to be any more or less impressive. They don't stand out either way.

They do at my child’s school. They are noticeably bigger and have hair on their faces. Some are two bdays ahead because not only are they redshirted, but they have bdays that are in early spring. Which puts them that much older than kids who are in the correct grade. It is so awkward and embarrassing.

You are awkward and embarrassing for speaking that way about children.

I'm sure this will be deleted, but there are many undocumented children who are older than they claim in school and sports. I see the advantage, more years of an public school education to catch up, but it happens. I am a soccer coach in a far out NoVA suburb, and know the kids and their backstories.
However, I did comment earlier in this thread, and assume it was deleted since it was attached to a post from an anti-redshirter who got booted for sock-pupoeting. My boys were redshirtted and I believe for boys it is proper since in my belief, schools disadvantage boys in preference for girls who can sit still and are more mature than boys in younger ages. Boys are in high school, leaders and doing great. No regrets.

+100 to everything said here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I don't know what is up with older kids, but in my child's first grade class (the first grade to start kindergarten after Covid), there are dozens of redshirted children, many of whom absolutely should not have been redshirted, but their parents didn't want them to have virtual K (understandable) and those children are TERRORS. Like multiple teachers at the school (my neighbors) have told me that this is by the worst first grade class ever. They've never seen classes with so many older, bored children (boys and girls) before, and that it's a nightmare. Just think about if your child is going to be bored and don't redshirt them if you just don't want them to the smallest kid in the class, that's an awful, selfish, mom-centered approach, and I will 100% judge anyone who does this.

This particular class year is definitely an outlier because so many people chose to redshirt to avoid virtual learning. (I would have done the same but my kids are older.)

She quite literally says that in the quote you are quoting

I know, I was agreeing with her. I just don’t think you can use this particular crop of kids to make judgments about the effects of redshirting generally, because the type of kids withheld that year are much different than typical (typical meaning held back because parents think the kid is less mature, signs of ADHD or hyperactivity, lagging social skills or what have you) and because there were so many more of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discussion is about how the kids feel? You all are making it about how you feel and justifying your choices by attacking those who do not have the same viewpoint as you. No one is talking about the impact on the kids. Sure, it may make academics easier. Easier is not always better. For the parent whose 8th grader struggled that makes sense if they got tutors and provided lots of support as things really start to ramp up. But, for a child doing well in school, with no academic issues or on the advanced track, how do they, not you feel about it? Do you stop and think about the other long term impacts? If a school, mainly privates don’t offer accelerated math, what if your kid needs it if they are older and more advanced or younger and more advanced? What if they don’t start algebra until 8th or 9th and your child wants it and can handle it younger? What about the opportunities after calculus and what does the school offer? That was what we faced looking at privates in middle school. For an average kid those things will not matter but for a smarter kid it may.

This is all about your feelings, ironically.

The only people attacking here are the crazed anti-redshirters Jeff had to ban.

Lady, you have been camped in this thread since its beginning and you are as fanatical about redshirting as some are about treating cutoffs as absolute. Redshirting has obvious advantages in the beginning and not-so-obvious drawbacks further down the line. This thread is about whether redshirted children ever regret the decision their parents made, and the answer is of course yes, some do feel set back, just as some feel it was a benefit. Unfortunately, nobody is psychic. OP's kid will probably benefit from it as long as the learning disabilities are managed. If people think redshirting is a substitute for managing other issues, yikes. I have seen that turn out badly.

I have not been here since the beginning. However, I did post some of the only objective academic data provided in this thread. Unlike you, I don’t rely on my feelings alone in these matters.

The data seems to argue in favor of school delay as being a potentially beneficial method of mitigation of ADHD symptoms. The study from Denmark as opposed to other countries with rigid cutoffs is compelling. For OP, who had a child with ADHD, delay seems like a reasonable option.

You posted one study with data 20 years ago from another country.

Back to the topic, how does your child feel about it? We know you will find a million reasons to justify your choice but the topic is how does your kid feel about it? I’ve talked to mine many times about it. They agree with my decision.

Why would you ask a young child continuously what they think about having started school 12+ months delayed?
Just shut up and don’t /do it, and hope for the best.

Maybe when they’re 20 they might have a viable opinion on it or when they’re huge and a freshman on varsity football or basketball team. But other than that you’ll never know what the pay off was.

Again, the topic is how does your child feel about redshirting?

Why do you keep posting this weak rebuttal attempt over and over?

What does a 6 or 8 or 12 yo think? You’d have to ask them. And we all know how that goes.

Parents are the decision maker and advocate and observer here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discussion is about how the kids feel? You all are making it about how you feel and justifying your choices by attacking those who do not have the same viewpoint as you. No one is talking about the impact on the kids. Sure, it may make academics easier. Easier is not always better. For the parent whose 8th grader struggled that makes sense if they got tutors and provided lots of support as things really start to ramp up. But, for a child doing well in school, with no academic issues or on the advanced track, how do they, not you feel about it? Do you stop and think about the other long term impacts? If a school, mainly privates don’t offer accelerated math, what if your kid needs it if they are older and more advanced or younger and more advanced? What if they don’t start algebra until 8th or 9th and your child wants it and can handle it younger? What about the opportunities after calculus and what does the school offer? That was what we faced looking at privates in middle school. For an average kid those things will not matter but for a smarter kid it may.

This is all about your feelings, ironically.

The only people attacking here are the crazed anti-redshirters Jeff had to ban.

Lady, you have been camped in this thread since its beginning and you are as fanatical about redshirting as some are about treating cutoffs as absolute. Redshirting has obvious advantages in the beginning and not-so-obvious drawbacks further down the line. This thread is about whether redshirted children ever regret the decision their parents made, and the answer is of course yes, some do feel set back, just as some feel it was a benefit. Unfortunately, nobody is psychic. OP's kid will probably benefit from it as long as the learning disabilities are managed. If people think redshirting is a substitute for managing other issues, yikes. I have seen that turn out badly.

I have not been here since the beginning. However, I did post some of the only objective academic data provided in this thread. Unlike you, I don’t rely on my feelings alone in these matters.

The data seems to argue in favor of school delay as being a potentially beneficial method of mitigation of ADHD symptoms. The study from Denmark as opposed to other countries with rigid cutoffs is compelling. For OP, who had a child with ADHD, delay seems like a reasonable option.

You posted one study with data 20 years ago from another country.

Back to the topic, how does your child feel about it? We know you will find a million reasons to justify your choice but the topic is how does your kid feel about it? I’ve talked to mine many times about it. They agree with my decision.

Why would you ask a young child continuously what they think about having started school 12+ months delayed?
Just shut up and don’t /do it, and hope for the best.

Maybe when they’re 20 they might have a viable opinion on it or when they’re huge and a freshman on varsity football or basketball team. But other than that you’ll never know what the pay off was.

Again, the topic is how does your child feel about redshirting?

Shall we all go ask every redshirted young child, tween and teen how they feel about starting K 12 months delayed?

Like those studies where you put your race, sex, and other reminders before you start the test..?…

Again, the topic is about how your child feels about it. Stop deflecting.

Lol

What does your baby think about their diapers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discussion is about how the kids feel? You all are making it about how you feel and justifying your choices by attacking those who do not have the same viewpoint as you. No one is talking about the impact on the kids. Sure, it may make academics easier. Easier is not always better. For the parent whose 8th grader struggled that makes sense if they got tutors and provided lots of support as things really start to ramp up. But, for a child doing well in school, with no academic issues or on the advanced track, how do they, not you feel about it? Do you stop and think about the other long term impacts? If a school, mainly privates don’t offer accelerated math, what if your kid needs it if they are older and more advanced or younger and more advanced? What if they don’t start algebra until 8th or 9th and your child wants it and can handle it younger? What about the opportunities after calculus and what does the school offer? That was what we faced looking at privates in middle school. For an average kid those things will not matter but for a smarter kid it may.

This is all about your feelings, ironically.

The only people attacking here are the crazed anti-redshirters Jeff had to ban.

Lady, you have been camped in this thread since its beginning and you are as fanatical about redshirting as some are about treating cutoffs as absolute. Redshirting has obvious advantages in the beginning and not-so-obvious drawbacks further down the line. This thread is about whether redshirted children ever regret the decision their parents made, and the answer is of course yes, some do feel set back, just as some feel it was a benefit. Unfortunately, nobody is psychic. OP's kid will probably benefit from it as long as the learning disabilities are managed. If people think redshirting is a substitute for managing other issues, yikes. I have seen that turn out badly.

I have not been here since the beginning. However, I did post some of the only objective academic data provided in this thread. Unlike you, I don’t rely on my feelings alone in these matters.

The data seems to argue in favor of school delay as being a potentially beneficial method of mitigation of ADHD symptoms. The study from Denmark as opposed to other countries with rigid cutoffs is compelling. For OP, who had a child with ADHD, delay seems like a reasonable option.

You posted one study with data 20 years ago from another country.

Back to the topic, how does your child feel about it? We know you will find a million reasons to justify your choice but the topic is how does your kid feel about it? I’ve talked to mine many times about it. They agree with my decision.

Why would you ask a young child continuously what they think about having started school 12+ months delayed?
Just shut up and don’t /do it, and hope for the best.

Maybe when they’re 20 they might have a viable opinion on it or when they’re huge and a freshman on varsity football or basketball team. But other than that you’ll never know what the pay off was.

Again, the topic is how does your child feel about redshirting?

Shall we all go ask every redshirted young child, tween and teen how they feel about starting K 12 months delayed?

Like those studies where you put your race, sex, and other reminders before you start the test..?…

Again, the topic is about how your child feels about it. Stop deflecting.

I’m not the PP but tonight I asked my now-senior what his redshirted friends think and he said he’ll ask them and report back. He considered the question something weird old people think about, lol. The kids have never talked about it. But he said he would ask.

So, you have no personal experience with it? Yes kids talk about ages.

Not really, beyond a quickly noting it at a bday or drivers license.

They don’t start until fretting about test scores and sports performance vs ages. Ability, work ethic, discipline take over by then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I don't know what is up with older kids, but in my child's first grade class (the first grade to start kindergarten after Covid), there are dozens of redshirted children, many of whom absolutely should not have been redshirted, but their parents didn't want them to have virtual K (understandable) and those children are TERRORS. Like multiple teachers at the school (my neighbors) have told me that this is by the worst first grade class ever. They've never seen classes with so many older, bored children (boys and girls) before, and that it's a nightmare. Just think about if your child is going to be bored and don't redshirt them if you just don't want them to the smallest kid in the class, that's an awful, selfish, mom-centered approach, and I will 100% judge anyone who does this.

This particular class year is definitely an outlier because so many people chose to redshirt to avoid virtual learning. (I would have done the same but my kids are older.)

She quite literally says that in the quote you are quoting

I have a current 1st grader and 3rd grader. It's the 3rd grade class that is struggle. They missed half of kindergarten and 1st grade was a mixed bag of inperson and online. There are huge gaps for many of the kids. My DD is still struggling with reading. We read at home all the time but she's still struggling. I think she has finally caught up in math. The school doesn't even know what to do with them because they can't keep up with the usual curriculum and it had to be modified. The 1st graders are in much better shape.

Current 4th graders too; took it on the chin during Covid shutdown for 4Q grade 1 and all of grade 2.

Those are heavy foundational years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I don't know what is up with older kids, but in my child's first grade class (the first grade to start kindergarten after Covid), there are dozens of redshirted children, many of whom absolutely should not have been redshirted, but their parents didn't want them to have virtual K (understandable) and those children are TERRORS. Like multiple teachers at the school (my neighbors) have told me that this is by the worst first grade class ever. They've never seen classes with so many older, bored children (boys and girls) before, and that it's a nightmare. Just think about if your child is going to be bored and don't redshirt them if you just don't want them to the smallest kid in the class, that's an awful, selfish, mom-centered approach, and I will 100% judge anyone who does this.

This particular class year is definitely an outlier because so many people chose to redshirt to avoid virtual learning. (I would have done the same but my kids are older.)

She quite literally says that in the quote you are quoting

I have a current 1st grader and 3rd grader. It's the 3rd grade class that is struggle. They missed half of kindergarten and 1st grade was a mixed bag of inperson and online. There are huge gaps for many of the kids. My DD is still struggling with reading. We read at home all the time but she's still struggling. I think she has finally caught up in math. The school doesn't even know what to do with them because they can't keep up with the usual curriculum and it had to be modified. The 1st graders are in much better shape.

Current 4th graders too; took it on the chin during Covid shutdown for 4Q grade 1 and all of grade 2.

Those are heavy foundational years

Yes, I have the 1st and 3rd graders. I also have a 6th grader. He's doing very well and barely missed a beat with everything. The younger kids got really screwed with all this. Parents saw the writing on the wall and redshirted and who can blame them.

[Anonymous]

I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

Totally agree with #3. I was a fall birthday and was always the tallest and developed early. It was a really uncomfortable time. That did factor into deciding to send our summer girl on time. She’s always been in the high 90s percentile in height and still, being one of the youngest, she’s a head taller than many of her friends. I’m glad we didn’t hold her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discussion is about how the kids feel? You all are making it about how you feel and justifying your choices by attacking those who do not have the same viewpoint as you. No one is talking about the impact on the kids. Sure, it may make academics easier. Easier is not always better. For the parent whose 8th grader struggled that makes sense if they got tutors and provided lots of support as things really start to ramp up. But, for a child doing well in school, with no academic issues or on the advanced track, how do they, not you feel about it? Do you stop and think about the other long term impacts? If a school, mainly privates don’t offer accelerated math, what if your kid needs it if they are older and more advanced or younger and more advanced? What if they don’t start algebra until 8th or 9th and your child wants it and can handle it younger? What about the opportunities after calculus and what does the school offer? That was what we faced looking at privates in middle school. For an average kid those things will not matter but for a smarter kid it may.

This is all about your feelings, ironically.

The only people attacking here are the crazed anti-redshirters Jeff had to ban.

Lady, you have been camped in this thread since its beginning and you are as fanatical about redshirting as some are about treating cutoffs as absolute. Redshirting has obvious advantages in the beginning and not-so-obvious drawbacks further down the line. This thread is about whether redshirted children ever regret the decision their parents made, and the answer is of course yes, some do feel set back, just as some feel it was a benefit. Unfortunately, nobody is psychic. OP's kid will probably benefit from it as long as the learning disabilities are managed. If people think redshirting is a substitute for managing other issues, yikes. I have seen that turn out badly.

I have not been here since the beginning. However, I did post some of the only objective academic data provided in this thread. Unlike you, I don’t rely on my feelings alone in these matters.

The data seems to argue in favor of school delay as being a potentially beneficial method of mitigation of ADHD symptoms. The study from Denmark as opposed to other countries with rigid cutoffs is compelling. For OP, who had a child with ADHD, delay seems like a reasonable option.

You posted one study with data 20 years ago from another country.

Back to the topic, how does your child feel about it? We know you will find a million reasons to justify your choice but the topic is how does your kid feel about it? I’ve talked to mine many times about it. They agree with my decision.

Why would you ask a young child continuously what they think about having started school 12+ months delayed?
Just shut up and don’t /do it, and hope for the best.

Maybe when they’re 20 they might have a viable opinion on it or when they’re huge and a freshman on varsity football or basketball team. But other than that you’ll never know what the pay off was.

Again, the topic is how does your child feel about redshirting?

Why do you keep posting this weak rebuttal attempt over and over?

What does a 6 or 8 or 12 yo think? You’d have to ask them. And we all know how that goes.

Parents are the decision maker and advocate and observer here.

The topic is about what the kids think. The topic is not what adults think. It’s also interesting people posting who have not direct experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll give you a different perspective - my DS is a late summer birthday and we did not redshirt him. He has always done well academically and we could tell when he was in preschool that he could handle a full day of kindergarten. He was ready. And he was tall for his age. So we didn 't redshirt. Well, now he's in high school, and it turns out he really likes sports, and he is the youngest and smallest on teams. We really do wish that we had redshirted him. Being the youngest can be socially awkward with friends too -- everyone gets licenses and hits physical milestones ahead of you in general. If you're even considering redshirting than I encourage you to just do it. Also, if you go the private school route, everyone with a summer birthday is held for the following year. Another thing I wish we'd realized. Fortunately, he's done absolutely fine academically and he's tall for his age.

I have no regrets not holding my child back. Their sport is by age so it does not matter what grade they are in and academics for us are the priority. Who cares if they get the license first. Mine got into advanced music and the sports team no issue as the youngest.

Yeah you’ve posted 27 times on this thread, *we know* your perspective.

No different from those pushing everyone to hold back their kids to make them better and stronger for sports.

No one is doing that.

Why are you so offended that some people made a different decision for their kids than you did? What impact does it make on you or your kid?

DP here. I have a child with an August birthday that started K on time. There are kids that redshirted and are a full year older than him. I do resent that they have an easier time with some of the academics and are better in sports because they are older and taller. My kid does pretty well especially considering his age, but I have to remind him that other kids are older, so he can’t always compare his abilities to theirs directly.

And there it is, the zero-sum blood sport approach to education. Not everyone approaches education and parenting as this vicious cage match.

Thank goodness those other families “got theirs” and redshirted their kids so those kids would be oldest and leaders in the class! Zero sum game indeed. Take what’s yours!

How does it affect your kid in any way that other kids are doing better in class because they've been redshirted?

You just come off as mean and spiteful. Would it make you happier if these kids were struggling?

That’s just it. A large tipping point mass of redshirting makes the other kids who are younger struggle. And then more redshirting and earlier redshirting happens (if parents are even aware how prevalent it is in certain places) and more curriculum speed. So on and so forth until differentiation and tracking starts in MS or HS.

Why would that be the case? Redshirted kids being better able to handle academics and the social interaction of school in no way makes it harder for your kid to do well. It's not a zero sum game or some competition.

The rest of your post makes no sense, because your basic premise is wrong.

The expectations for student maturity and ability are continually getting higher because more kids are starting at an older age. This might be unintentional by the teachers and schools. This makes it harder for children who are at average maturity for a 5 year old when they start school.

It’s not unintentional. Why would you think that? Make kindergarten like it used to be. Half day, fun, recess, and not learning to read. Kindergarten changed, and parents reacted.

K was not a half day anywhere and the real issue is preschools and parents are not preparing kids for k if that many from comfortable families are not ready. However the topic is not to justify it, the topic is how do kids feel about it?

Kids should not be mature at 5. People have unrealistic expectations for very young kids. Holding back does not make a 6 year old more mature. It puts them with a younger peer group which then has lower expectations as it is normed for a 5 year old, not 6 so these kids are less mature because they are being held to expectations for a child a year younger.

Lots of kids I know were reading before k. Either they were bright and figured it out, parents taught them or preschool.

But, again, the topic is how do the kids feel about it?

There are also articles about how it’s a mistake to hold kids back but again that is not the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discussion is about how the kids feel? You all are making it about how you feel and justifying your choices by attacking those who do not have the same viewpoint as you. No one is talking about the impact on the kids. Sure, it may make academics easier. Easier is not always better. For the parent whose 8th grader struggled that makes sense if they got tutors and provided lots of support as things really start to ramp up. But, for a child doing well in school, with no academic issues or on the advanced track, how do they, not you feel about it? Do you stop and think about the other long term impacts? If a school, mainly privates don’t offer accelerated math, what if your kid needs it if they are older and more advanced or younger and more advanced? What if they don’t start algebra until 8th or 9th and your child wants it and can handle it younger? What about the opportunities after calculus and what does the school offer? That was what we faced looking at privates in middle school. For an average kid those things will not matter but for a smarter kid it may.

This is all about your feelings, ironically.

The only people attacking here are the crazed anti-redshirters Jeff had to ban.

Lady, you have been camped in this thread since its beginning and you are as fanatical about redshirting as some are about treating cutoffs as absolute. Redshirting has obvious advantages in the beginning and not-so-obvious drawbacks further down the line. This thread is about whether redshirted children ever regret the decision their parents made, and the answer is of course yes, some do feel set back, just as some feel it was a benefit. Unfortunately, nobody is psychic. OP's kid will probably benefit from it as long as the learning disabilities are managed. If people think redshirting is a substitute for managing other issues, yikes. I have seen that turn out badly.

I have not been here since the beginning. However, I did post some of the only objective academic data provided in this thread. Unlike you, I don’t rely on my feelings alone in these matters.

The data seems to argue in favor of school delay as being a potentially beneficial method of mitigation of ADHD symptoms. The study from Denmark as opposed to other countries with rigid cutoffs is compelling. For OP, who had a child with ADHD, delay seems like a reasonable option.

You posted one study with data 20 years ago from another country.

Back to the topic, how does your child feel about it? We know you will find a million reasons to justify your choice but the topic is how does your kid feel about it? I’ve talked to mine many times about it. They agree with my decision.

Why would you ask a young child continuously what they think about having started school 12+ months delayed?
Just shut up and don’t /do it, and hope for the best.

Maybe when they’re 20 they might have a viable opinion on it or when they’re huge and a freshman on varsity football or basketball team. But other than that you’ll never know what the pay off was.

Again, the topic is how does your child feel about redshirting?

Why do you keep posting this weak rebuttal attempt over and over?

What does a 6 or 8 or 12 yo think? You’d have to ask them. And we all know how that goes.

Parents are the decision maker and advocate and observer here.

The topic is about what the kids think. The topic is not what adults think. It’s also interesting people posting who have not direct experience.

Well, technically nobody posting here has direct experience unless they were redshirted themselves, and then their experience is very out of date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

The first bolded isn’t true, and the insane parents are the anti-redshirt ones (as seen in this very thread). The second bolded is just one more example of the absolute inability of anti-redshirters to comprehend even basic math. Why are you all so horrible at math? Why are you all so weird? Are you the nutcase who was banned for 24 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.