Jewish life in an interfaith marriage

[Anonymous]

I'm a pretty devout, liberal Protestant, and my husband was raised mostly Jewish (father Christian, mother Jewish) but has not been active in the religion since he was a teenager. We are expecting our first child and have agreed to raise the kids in a liberal Presbyterian church but also have them attend some Jewish Sunday School and services and celebrate Jewish holidays so they can learn about their dad's religion. Are there synagogues out there that would be okay with us attending as an interfaith family? We are on Capitol Hill but are willing to travel - may be moving to Cleveland Park in the distant future. I'd like to go to some services with the rest of the family but definitely won't participate in any activities/rituals/traditions that would be inappropriate for a non-Jew. Also, I know that many (all?) synagogues operate on a dues-based membership structure, which I am unfamiliar with. I assume we probably won't be joining a synagogue since I am not going to convert, but is it okay for us to attend without being members?

[Anonymous]

You can attend without being members. Some synagogues require membership though to enroll your child in the Sunday school.

[Anonymous]

Most synagogues will ask you to join in order to access Sunday School. You can attend the weekly services without being a dues paying member. High Holiday services may present a challenge though.

Most synagogues are welcoming if interfaith children. Are you

[Anonymous]

Hit reply too soon. Are you planning to have the children attend church on Sat. Jewish Sunday School is not a drop in activity. You register your child for the school year. Your child is expected to attend each week. You paying a hefty tuition for this as well. As the child grows, school starts to focus on the prayers and helping the child prepare for their bar/bat mitzvah. While a synagogue will welcome a child of an interfaith marriage, they will not bar/bat mitzvah a child who is not Jewish.

Just something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most synagogues will ask you to join in order to access Sunday School. You can attend the weekly services without being a dues paying member. High Holiday services may present a challenge though.

Most synagogues are welcoming if interfaith children. Are you

You can generally pay for tickets to high holy day celebrations at any area temple if you are super motivated to attend. At our synagogue, Temple Micah in Glover Park, children and youth high holy day services do not require tickets. In addition, they hold monthly tot shabbat services for very young children (0 to 5) that are open to the public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hit reply too soon. Are you planning to have the children attend church on Sat. Jewish Sunday School is not a drop in activity. You register your child for the school year. Your child is expected to attend each week. You paying a hefty tuition for this as well. As the child grows, school starts to focus on the prayers and helping the child prepare for their bar/bat mitzvah. While a synagogue will welcome a child of an interfaith marriage, they will not bar/bat mitzvah a child who is not Jewish.

Just something to think about.

This is a key distinction between Christian Sunday school and Jewish Sunday school. If you want to be a causal participant (which is totally OK), you are better off going to tot shabbats and youth holiday services.

[Anonymous]

The Interfaith Families Project of Greater Washington (http://iffp.net/) has services and a Sunday school.

[Anonymous]

Check out Hill Havurah. We are an interfaith family there. They are very welcoming. They have religious ed, called Yavneh. IFFP is great too but it's interfaith Sunday school and up in Kensington.

[Anonymous]

OP--
Not all synagogues will welcome a liberal Protestant child at Sunday school. You are asking for your child to get "some Jewish exposure" but your child isn't Jewish.

Like the other posters, I suggest Friday nights and tot Shabbat rather than Sunday school.

I also recommend you make some calls before showing up. It isnt always obvious how a given synagogue handles non-Jewish children like yours. All will be fine with you coming to services.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to do some more thinking for your kids' sake. If you are raising them as devout Christians how is it fair to send them to Jewish Sunday School? How is it fair to the devout Jewish children? These are two different religions. They conflict. That is a reality you need to face. It's not like exposing them to a little modern art.

[Anonymous]

The Presbyterian Church is currently protesting Israel. Very welcoming to interfaith.

[Anonymous]

OP, I suggested the IFFP because I had personal experience with them during my marriage. We also tried a havurah (not Hill Havurah) in TkPk MD that was geared toward interfaith families. Ultimately, we decided to raise Catholic kids who were exposed to Judaism (through home practice and the occasional service) and taught to appreciate it as the root of Christianity. The big deciding factor was that other than IFFP, other Jewish organizations that said they were welcome to interfaith families immediately began a strong sell of conversion. IFFP didn't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suggested the IFFP because I had personal experience with them during my marriage. We also tried a havurah (not Hill Havurah) in TkPk MD that was geared toward interfaith families. Ultimately, we decided to raise Catholic kids who were exposed to Judaism (through home practice and the occasional service) and taught to appreciate it as the root of Christianity. The big deciding factor was that other than IFFP, other Jewish organizations that said they were welcome to interfaith families immediately began a strong sell of conversion. IFFP didn't do that.

Check out the humanist Jewish congregation on 16th Street - they do all of the cultural stuff

[Anonymous]

These are great questions. My wife's mom is Jewish (with an emphasis on the -ish), her parents never really raised her in the faith. Wife's dad is Catholic. I'm protestant (ish). We attend a Presbyterian church, cause we like it. We celebrate any holidays we like...like we will have our own Passover on Maundy Thursday. I call myself an "adopted member of the Tribe."

Read your bibles...the Apostles never stopped being Jews when they followed Christ.


(Oh, and i'm none too happy with the Presbyterians now, but because we can walk there and like the Pastor, we go there...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out Hill Havurah. We are an interfaith family there. They are very welcoming. They have religious ed, called Yavneh. IFFP is great too but it's interfaith Sunday school and up in Kensington.

I was also going to suggest the Hill Havurah. http://www.hillhavurah.org/ It's a really lovely and diverse community. Tot shabbat would probably be a great place to start, and I would reiterate the suggestions of others that tot shabbat and other youth services are probably going to be the best choice for your family (rather than Jewish Sunday School, which is a big commitment).