Jewish life in an interfaith marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do some more thinking for your kids' sake. If you are raising them as devout Christians how is it fair to send them to Jewish Sunday School? How is it fair to the devout Jewish children? These are two different religions. They conflict. That is a reality you need to face. It's not like exposing them to a little modern art.

We are a practicing Jewish family, and our kids "help" my mixed-religion in-laws celebrate the holidays of the other religion. Sure, the theology conflicts, but there's nothing wrong with joining in others' celebration (or other observance) of their religion, to the extent it's permissible (we obviously wouldn't take communion).

[Anonymous]

You should also consider Temple Beth Chai in Bethesda - a friendly, welcoming, humanist temple that, in our experience, seems to consist primarily of interfaith families.

[Anonymous]

Beth El in Alexandria full of interfaith parents, including my family. It might even be possible to enroll younger children in Sunday School without joining the congregation. There are many, many kids from families with only 1 Jewish parent, and the other not converting. No one in our family goes to services, though we pay dues to the synagogue. When I attend weddings or B.. Mitzvahs, it is nice to draw on the religious education I had so long ago, and still be connected to the community. It is nice to know my DC will have the same through the Sunday School education & B.Mitzvah preparation.

PP suggestions of tot shabbat (family geared Friday night services) is a great idea. Going to high holiday services for adults wouldn't be the way to build a connection or much understanding for your kids or you.

[Anonymous]

Again, nobody should need convert and nobody needs to not take Communion if they wish to. This separation is a modern invention. There are many things of goodness to be taken from both religions, one of which is really an offshoot of another.

The original Christians were all Jews first. In fact, the first disagreement was over "can a gentile be a Christian?"

Easter shouldn't even be when it is, it should be directly tied to Passover, but the Vatican "adjusted" the date at some point.

NOTHING anywhere says you have to stop being a Jew if you become a Christian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Presbyterian Church is currently protesting Israel. Very welcoming to interfaith.

Yes I'm probably going to leave PCUSA over this.

Maybe Hamas can make up what goes missing nationally from their weekly collection plates, they now seem to love Palestine so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, nobody should need convert and nobody needs to not take Communion if they wish to. This separation is a modern invention. There are many things of goodness to be taken from both religions, one of which is really an offshoot of another.

The original Christians were all Jews first. In fact, the first disagreement was over "can a gentile be a Christian?"

Easter shouldn't even be when it is, it should be directly tied to Passover, but the Vatican "adjusted" the date at some point.

NOTHING anywhere says you have to stop being a Jew if you become a Christian.

Huh? Jews don't believe Jesus is the savior. You can't be both. It's either one or the other.

[Anonymous]

I do not know the position of even my own Consevative synaogue on sunday school for your kids - while we welcome intermarried couples, and would welcome your family, technically your kids are not Jewish since their mother is not (and presumably they have not had a conversion to Judaism) I guess we would admit them to religious school if you are members, but they could not become bar/bat mitzvah without converting.

I would suggest though that yuo raising them christian (did I misread that?) raises other issues. jewish religious school is designed for families raising their kids as Jews, whether the parents are intermarried or not, and not to provide some exposure to Jewish heritage for christian children. Even if they were accepted on that basis, it could raise all kinds of uncomfortable problems in the school itself.

But if you just want some exposure I guess you could attend a shul sometimes, or use tot shabbat. I personally think you should think about exactly what you want and why though.

[Anonymous]

"NOTHING anywhere says you have to stop being a Jew if you become a Christian. "

A born Jew cannot stop being a Jew, even if they become a muslim, an atheist, a pagan or whatever. They do however become in very serious violation of Jewish law. As for Christianity, Judaism since the 1st century has held that belief in JC as messiah (or worse, as "son" of G-d) is heresy.

Your children are not Jews. According to C and O they would have to be converted. According to Reform they would NOT have to be converted, would have to be raised Jewish. As children of one non-Jewish parent their identy per Reform depends on how they are raised, and being raised as Christian does not count as being raised Jewish. While many Reform shuls look the other way IIUC, at kids being raised with some exposure to christianity, I doubt beth el of Alex would conduct a Bar/bat mitzvah for a kid raised in the Presby church. Maybe a Jewish Renewal shul would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do some more thinking for your kids' sake. If you are raising them as devout Christians how is it fair to send them to Jewish Sunday School? How is it fair to the devout Jewish children? These are two different religions. They conflict. That is a reality you need to face. It's not like exposing them to a little modern art.

We are a practicing Jewish family, and our kids "help" my mixed-religion in-laws celebrate the holidays of the other religion. Sure, the theology conflicts, but there's nothing wrong with joining in others' celebration (or other observance) of their religion, to the extent it's permissible (we obviously wouldn't take communion).

I helped my college roommate decorate "his" christmas tree. But I didnt go to school at his church. Jewish Sunday School, though at the youngest ages the content is going to be more baking challahs for shabbat and singing songs for purim than it is theology, is not just a place to enjoy some holidays. Its a place many Jews rely on as the beginning of their childrens jewish learning and identity.

[Anonymous]

Judaism is meant for jews. OP is not jewish and the kids are not either. At most you might be tolerated. You will not be welcomed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do some more thinking for your kids' sake. If you are raising them as devout Christians how is it fair to send them to Jewish Sunday School? How is it fair to the devout Jewish children? These are two different religions. They conflict. That is a reality you need to face. It's not like exposing them to a little modern art.

I agree. Please pick a religion and raise the kids one or the other. They can't be both, and by default, will be neither.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for all of the replies. I'm now thinking that Sunday school is probably not a good bet for us (I didn't fully grasp how big of a commitment it is), but will definitely look into the other options discussed. Our kid hasn't been born yet, so we still have a few years to go before he/she is old enough to participate. We're probably not going to have DC baptized or mitzvahed but want him/her to feel comfortable in both traditions; if DC wants to commit to one or the other we'd definitely be supportive of that. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

We are members of iffp. It has been great for our family. Come visit.in September.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"NOTHING anywhere says you have to stop being a Jew if you become a Christian. "

A born Jew cannot stop being a Jew, even if they become a muslim, an atheist, a pagan or whatever. They do however become in very serious violation of Jewish law. As for Christianity, Judaism since the 1st century has held that belief in JC as messiah (or worse, as "son" of G-d) is heresy.

Your children are not Jews. According to C and O they would have to be converted. According to Reform they would NOT have to be converted, would have to be raised Jewish. As children of one non-Jewish parent their identy per Reform depends on how they are raised, and being raised as Christian does not count as being raised Jewish. While many Reform shuls look the other way IIUC, at kids being raised with some exposure to christianity, I doubt beth el of Alex would conduct a Bar/bat mitzvah for a kid raised in the Presby church. Maybe a Jewish Renewal shul would be different.

I'm the BethEl poster and I agree with this. Didn't mean to mislead. Agree OP needs to figure out what she wants, and she has already clarified that she didn't understand the kind of commitment Jewish Sunday school is. It isn't drop in for a little exposure. My kid is getting a Jewish education. We do celebrate holidays with non Jewish relatives....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are members of iffp. It has been great for our family. Come visit.in September.

Us too! It is a great option for families that want to raise their children in both faith traditions. When they are adults, they will be able to make the decisions for themselves. It also provides an excellent sense of belonging and community for children with one Christian and one Jewish parent.