It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Wow you all, seriously everyone, DINKS and SAHMs and working moms and childless by choice and everyone else, on this thread sounds SO happy and fulfilled in their lives.

/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all, seriously everyone, DINKS and SAHMs and working moms and childless by choice and everyone else, on this thread sounds SO happy and fulfilled in their lives.

/s

+1

[Anonymous]

The people on here are nuts. Your life is empty if you have no children? Sorry your life is so boring you couldn’t figure out something else to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"

There is more than a whiff of judgment in OPs post about producing humans without much care or thought. People are setting the record straight and it seems to be pretty universal that nobody actually regrets parenting, they just say something nice so OP doesn't feel like they're missing out.

+1
I hope that OP is reading this thread and realizing that perhaps that person at work was just being nice in reacting as she did. When the majority of the population has children, logic dictates that there must be some pretty good reasons for their doing so!

Yeah they are too dumb to know how to use birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess this balances it out for OP!

Nah. I’ll retire 20 years earlier than you while you’ll still be stuck paying for college loans and a wedding, lol.

NP but paying for college so that there is another doctor or teacher or architect out in the world to help better our society, and/or paying for a wedding to allow my child to celebrate their marriage, will be an incredible privilege.

You assume you kid will be a doctor or teacher and that there isn't the remote possibility that they could turn into a bank robber, the drug addict in Kensington Philly, or just a degenerate lobbyist in DC ruining peoples' lives. Lol, have fun with the now $100k per year tuition fees. No amount of mental gymnastics will ever convince anyone who is sane with money that it is worth it. Ha, and then while you're still stuck laying off college bills, little Suzy's $50k wedding is next I konly a few year a fun fun fun.

Also, what on earth will you do with your time when you retire at age 40 instead of 60? Do you really think that will make you happy? No career, no children…. What will be the purpose, the drive, of your life?? A lot of vacations? That’s how you want to spend your short time on this earth?

Uhhh yes.. that sounds amazeballs.

I predict that when you die a lonely death you will NOT rot for a few months before some exterminator called by the neighbors comes to see about all the flies.

Oh, you’ll definitely be lonely when you die and you will probably be found by the same exterminator, because he is actually also a serial fraudster who catfishes elderly weirdos to scam them out of their social security. You reply to one of his lonely heart posts and get sucked into a really obvious parasitic financial relationship with him - too bad you have no family to take away your power or authority. He keeps you from going to the doctor and your health will decline; he finds your body one day when he comes to threaten you about being late with the social security handover. He knows a guy who runs a crematorium so he has you cremated but not in the nice way, they put you in the oven with like three paying customers and your ashes wind up with a lovely Catholic family with like 15 kids. So you’ve got that coming

Also, the cool thing about your financial victimhood is that the exterminator manipulated into paying for his kids college. So, you know, that whole argument about tuition is sort of moot.

Dying alone sounds fantastic.

Dying while you have a huge number of people hovering over you sounds weird.

If I'm dead, what flying Fs would I care anymore about whether my body is decomposing into a mummy or is found by an exterminator? I'd be dead.


Now we can see the true selfish reason someone like you had a kid. You're have an irrational fear of death and an insane need to put your death on for show to anyone related.

Dying one sounds way better. Congrats, you have a kid who gets to watch you crap in diapers and smell your dry urine once you cannot control your bladder anymore. Wow, so fufilling. So enriching.


I'll take the vacations instead thank you very much.

As a health care provider who deals with death and dying and pronouncing people dead the saddest deaths are the ones where no one is there. Maybe you are different but most people want to feel that their lives had some meaning even if it’s small and having people present/ having friends and family shows that you had an impact and that they care your memories with them.

HOWEVER, this does not have to be your kids! Whatever you do, I recommend that DINKS spend time outside of themselves and invest in relationships esp with younger generation (nieces , nephews, cousins, mentees). Parenthood is a forced way to make these relationships and there is true beauty in caring for someone and then seeing the grow and having them come around and be present for you in the future. DINKS just have to work harder to create that for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

I have two kids AND I am a perfectionist and meticulous planner of trips... because I love to plan trips. We go to Europe and Asia.

So I can only assume your comment was sarcastic, because frankly planning my international trips is the least laborious thing I do in my life

You bury yourself in distraction, devoting yourself to work and "meticulously" planning vacations, instead of devoting yourself fully to a woman's highest calling- motherhood. Sad. Not as sad as if you'd never had children. But still tragic and pitiable, for both you and your children.

Why is parenting the highest calling for women but not men?

1950 called, they would like their mindset back.

If it is not misogyny to say that a woman's life is pitiable and empty without children, it is not misogyny to say that motherhood is the highest calling for women. Those viewpoints are in the same line of thinking. Why for women and not men? Well, just as humans were designed to reproduce, and if you don't do so your life is empty, women have a far greater role in reproduction, and if the woman doesn't devote herself fully to that, she has fallen short in her life's purpose.

So childless Mother Teresa's life was pitiable and empty, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg did not devote herself to her life's highest calling by being there full-time for her children.

Oh, now I get it.

Your life has had more meaning than that of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mother Teresa.

Women’s most vital organ is their uterus, not their brain. Got it.

And you are influencing the next generation. What could possibly go wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

I wonder if SAHM’s ever think about the messages they are sending their children, regarding men and women’s capabilities. (When they allow themselves to be financially dependent upon another adult, long after their kids need a full time caretaker at home)

Not everything is about money, PP.

It is not about money, it is about independence. Being able to carry yourself through the world as an adult, not be cared for like a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

I have two kids AND I am a perfectionist and meticulous planner of trips... because I love to plan trips. We go to Europe and Asia.

So I can only assume your comment was sarcastic, because frankly planning my international trips is the least laborious thing I do in my life

You bury yourself in distraction, devoting yourself to work and "meticulously" planning vacations, instead of devoting yourself fully to a woman's highest calling- motherhood. Sad. Not as sad as if you'd never had children. But still tragic and pitiable, for both you and your children.

Why is parenting the highest calling for women but not men?

1950 called, they would like their mindset back.

If it is not misogyny to say that a woman's life is pitiable and empty without children, it is not misogyny to say that motherhood is the highest calling for women. Those viewpoints are in the same line of thinking. Why for women and not men? Well, just as humans were designed to reproduce, and if you don't do so your life is empty, women have a far greater role in reproduction, and if the woman doesn't devote herself fully to that, she has fallen short in her life's purpose.

So childless Mother Teresa's life was pitiable and empty, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg did not devote herself to her life's highest calling by being there full-time for her children.

Oh, now I get it.

Your life has had more meaning than that of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mother Teresa.

Women’s most vital organ is their uterus, not their brain. Got it.

And you are influencing the next generation. What could possibly go wrong.

Yeah and Oprah and Dolly Parton. What boring lives they have and not influencial at all.

[Anonymous]

NP. This is not something I say out in the world but I would gladly give up my independence so my children aren’t cared for by overworked, low-paid strangers with their own understandable triggers. I absolutely hate that it’s one or the other in our corporate cogwheel world but there’s no question what matters to me more. I was a low-income daycare kid and have no illusions about caregiving.

I want to be able to look my kids in the eye and say I did everything I could to protect them from conflict, abuse, nervous system dysregulation and anxiety during those 0-5 years. I wish I could do that and take no career hit but it’s not possible. Luckily I’ll have some professional life to go back to, even if it’s not what it could have been.

In my neighborhood there are many former bankers and doctors making the same calculation. But sure, we’re all idiots setting back progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"

There is more than a whiff of judgment in OPs post about producing humans without much care or thought. People are setting the record straight and it seems to be pretty universal that nobody actually regrets parenting, they just say something nice so OP doesn't feel like they're missing out.

+1
I hope that OP is reading this thread and realizing that perhaps that person at work was just being nice in reacting as she did. When the majority of the population has children, logic dictates that there must be some pretty good reasons for their doing so!

Yeah they are too dumb to know how to use birth control.

Serious question: why are you on a parenting board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people on here are nuts. Your life is empty if you have no children? Sorry your life is so boring you couldn’t figure out something else to do.

You are on a PARENTING BOARD. Most people use or found this board because they are PARENTS (it's in the name). What made you decide to post on a board whose audience is comprised mostly of parents, because the site references "moms and dads"?

Did you not think that most people on a PARENTING BOARD are parents and value that aspect of their lives?

Maybe go back to your subreddit for the childfree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you all, seriously everyone, DINKS and SAHMs and working moms and childless by choice and everyone else, on this thread sounds SO happy and fulfilled in their lives.

/s

+1

I posted a few pages back that the only people upset about this stuff are unhappy with their own choices.

It’s mind boggling how many angry people are out there hating on others because of their reproductive and employment decisions.

I have 3 kids and a full time job. I am happy. I hope others find their happiness in whatever form that may be. Kids. No kids. Big career. Part time career. SAH. And none of it has any bearing on my life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people on here are nuts. Your life is empty if you have no children? Sorry your life is so boring you couldn’t figure out something else to do.

You are on a PARENTING BOARD. Most people use or found this board because they are PARENTS (it's in the name). What made you decide to post on a board whose audience is comprised mostly of parents, because the site references "moms and dads"?

Did you not think that most people on a PARENTING BOARD are parents and value that aspect of their lives?

Maybe go back to your subreddit for the childfree?

+1. I find this so strange. Why are there so many childless adults on the "Moms and Dads" website?

I have three kids. It was incredibly stressful early on but now that my kids are HS/MS, it is so much easier. I have more free time, busy career, and we take great vacations together. Kids doing well and savings is back on track. Don't regret it for a minute. I have a few friends who are childless but that is not by choice. They were unlucky and it is incredibly unfortunate for them. To those that chose to be childless, good for them knowing that they would not be apt parents. Not sure why they peruse these boards....perhaps they couldn't figure out something else to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny to see people freak out when they receive a dose of their own medicine.

-Sane working mother

I appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

I have two kids AND I am a perfectionist and meticulous planner of trips... because I love to plan trips. We go to Europe and Asia.

So I can only assume your comment was sarcastic, because frankly planning my international trips is the least laborious thing I do in my life

You bury yourself in distraction, devoting yourself to work and "meticulously" planning vacations, instead of devoting yourself fully to a woman's highest calling- motherhood. Sad. Not as sad as if you'd never had children. But still tragic and pitiable, for both you and your children.

Why is parenting the highest calling for women but not men?

1950 called, they would like their mindset back.

If it is not misogyny to say that a woman's life is pitiable and empty without children, it is not misogyny to say that motherhood is the highest calling for women. Those viewpoints are in the same line of thinking. Why for women and not men? Well, just as humans were designed to reproduce, and if you don't do so your life is empty, women have a far greater role in reproduction, and if the woman doesn't devote herself fully to that, she has fallen short in her life's purpose.

So childless Mother Teresa's life was pitiable and empty, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg did not devote herself to her life's highest calling by being there full-time for her children.

Oh, now I get it.

Your life has had more meaning than that of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mother Teresa.

Women’s most vital organ is their uterus, not their brain. Got it.

And you are influencing the next generation. What could possibly go wrong.

I'm glad you understand. That's exactly what I'm saying.

As many in this thread have pointed out from the first page, women without children have empty, meaningless lives. Mother Teresa, Sonia Sotomayor, Harper Lee, Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks, Betty White- they never knew a life filled with purpose, although perhaps they believed they did, and others around them were likely willing to support their delusion by saying encouraging things to these women while disguising their secret pity for them. Very sad cases.

Women like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Marie Curie, and Sojourner Truth lived meaningful lives, although their lives would have had far greater meaning had they focused solely on the thing that makes life meaningful- their children- instead of engaging in work outside the home (including the work done in bondage, in the case of Mrs. Truth). Of special note in this category are women like Dorothy Vaughan and Amy Coney Barrett, who, though they strayed from their highest calling by pursuing a career, at least had many, many children to amplify the meaning of their lives.

The women who have the most meaningful, purposeful, fulfilling lives are those who have children and don't split their attention by having a career. Yes, women like myself. And of course, of special note in this category are women like Hilaria Baldwin- a woman whose full love and focus goes to her seven children.

This is simple logic, simple math- Meaningfulness Math, you could call it.