Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

[Anonymous]

Having a horrible spouse will definitely make you depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

140 pounds is not HUGE.

5 feet 6 at 140lbs is actually pretty good, especially in middle age. I look really good at 160 at 5 feet 7. When I am 135, I look terrifyingly skinny.

[Anonymous]

Hello OP.

I sympathize with you. I am a DW who has let herself go. I had PPD and went on Prozac, which helped the depression but was terrible for weight gain. I was hungry all the time. It sucks. I hate looking in the mirror. DH now watches DS in the early morning so I can go for a quick run. We go for family walks after dinner instead of getting dessert.

Who does the grocery shopping? Does she ever mention her weight gain? How do you respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

It really depends upon the woman. I'm 5'2" and while I don't like it when I'm 135#, I'm still in size 8 jeans and small tops. For me, 117-120 is a good weight, I look good, i feel good. 100# would be way too slim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm OP's wife. He's lying about why he doesn't want a divorce. He doesn't want a divorce because he doesn't want to lose his lifestyle. He didn't tell you that I make all the money in this relationship and he would have nothing if he left me.

I'll admit that I'm fat. I'm trying to lose weight, but I'm tired. And I'm depressed, and he's a huge asshole, and his lack of sensitivity and passive aggressiveness is not helping the situation.

Also, the sex has never been very good, so it's not like I'm missing out on anything. I do a better job of satisfying myself than he ever did.

But do YOU want a divorce?

I'd say inertia keeps me here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope she divorces you and finds some man who likes a little more cushion for the pushin

only low class guys like extra

"Low class" is white people code language for "black"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

140 pounds is not HUGE.

5 feet 6 at 140lbs is actually pretty good, especially in middle age. I look really good at 160 at 5 feet 7. When I am 135, I look terrifyingly skinny.

Eh, i feel huge when I've been at 140 and I'm 5'6". I usually stay at 120, which means a size 2. 140 means a 6 or 8, which feels huge to a normally-skinny person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm OP's wife. He's lying about why he doesn't want a divorce. He doesn't want a divorce because he doesn't want to lose his lifestyle. He didn't tell you that I make all the money in this relationship and he would have nothing if he left me.

I'll admit that I'm fat. I'm trying to lose weight, but I'm tired. And I'm depressed, and he's a huge asshole, and his lack of sensitivity and passive aggressiveness is not helping the situation.

Also, the sex has never been very good, so it's not like I'm missing out on anything. I do a better job of satisfying myself than he ever did.

Why on earth did you ever marry a man who is terrible in bed? Why do you remain married to an asshole (.... who is terrible in bed)? Divorce!!

Meanwhile, do not complain about his "cheating". You choose (why?) to remain in a platonic room mate sexless marriage, in other words you have granted him a hall pass. Because every guy (even your asshole terrible-in-bed husband) is gonna be getting laid somewhere.

[Anonymous]

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

I find it really sad that you found your 5'6" 140 lb wife HUGE. Especially since she was PREGNANT ffs.

Also here is someone 5'6" and 136 lbs. So huge.

https://app.mybodygallery.com/#/?height=168&weight=64

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

140 pounds is not HUGE.

5 feet 6 at 140lbs is actually pretty good, especially in middle age. I look really good at 160 at 5 feet 7. When I am 135, I look terrifyingly skinny.

Eh, i feel huge when I've been at 140 and I'm 5'6". I usually stay at 120, which means a size 2. 140 means a 6 or 8, which feels huge to a normally-skinny person.

That’s fair. You are allowed to feel how you feel. But can we agree that a lot of the remarks in this thread are way off base? Most women are still able to walk, have sex, be healthy, and participate in normal family activities even at a size 6 or 8, or even a 10-12.
The idea that OPs wife must be unhealthy, depressed, an alcoholic, and not participating in family life is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

This is my nightmare as a man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

140 pounds is not HUGE.

5 feet 6 at 140lbs is actually pretty good, especially in middle age. I look really good at 160 at 5 feet 7. When I am 135, I look terrifyingly skinny.

Eh, i feel huge when I've been at 140 and I'm 5'6". I usually stay at 120, which means a size 2. 140 means a 6 or 8, which feels huge to a normally-skinny person.

But that is YOUR normal. There is a range of weights that can be healthy for people of the same height. This is not rocket science people.

My mom and I are the same height. I was very active in sports as a kid and teen; she was not. Once I reached full height, we would be able to wear the same clothing size and I would weigh 15 lbs more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obesity is heavily linked to poor health. Even 20 - 40 pounds overweight is linked to poor health markers particularly in the 40 pound number OP mentioned.

True, but being mildly overweight is associated with better health.

You don’t know where OPs wife started.

If she’s 5’2” and started at 100 lbs, and is now 140lbs, she is barely overweight. To be obese, she would have had to be overweight to start with.

Huh? At 5'2" that is about 30 pounds overweight.

No. 135 pounds is a normal BMI at 5 foot two. Look it up.

Overweight starts at 136. https://www.bmi-chart.info/

Not that I need a chart to tell me a 5'2" woman is overweight at 140. And women that short do NOT carry that weight well at all.

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

140 pounds is not HUGE.

5 feet 6 at 140lbs is actually pretty good, especially in middle age. I look really good at 160 at 5 feet 7. When I am 135, I look terrifyingly skinny.

Eh, i feel huge when I've been at 140 and I'm 5'6". I usually stay at 120, which means a size 2. 140 means a 6 or 8, which feels huge to a normally-skinny person.

5'6" 140 pounds is totally normal BMI. I'm 5'6" and wear a size 8. I look normal and am not fat or overweight. I've been 123 pounds when I've been in an inflammatory bowel disease flare.
A 5'6" woman at 120 pounds starts looking terrifyingly skinny. If a 5"6" woman fixated on being 120 I'd be concerned of an eating disorder.

A woman who is consistently underweight as a younger person is at high risk of osteoporosis as they age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

I find it really sad that you found your 5'6" 140 lb wife HUGE. Especially since she was PREGNANT ffs.

Also here is someone 5'6" and 136 lbs. So huge.

https://app.mybodygallery.com/#/?height=168&weight=64

These pictures are helpful. I'm age 59 and weight 139 (3 pounds more) at 5"6".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The BMI standard is really quite forgiving. My wife is 5'6" and 120. I remember when she was mid pregnancy and got up to 140. She was... a big girl. I can't imagine someone 5'2" thinking they're any semblance of healthy at that weight. Wife felt HUGE at 140.

I find it really sad that you found your 5'6" 140 lb wife HUGE. Especially since she was PREGNANT ffs.

Also here is someone 5'6" and 136 lbs. So huge.

https://app.mybodygallery.com/#/?height=168&weight=64

These pictures are helpful. I'm age 59 and weight 139 (3 pounds more) at 5"6".

The above pictured woman looks good and size appropriate.