Blindsided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

So the marriage was already dead, and he just put the nail in the coffin.

NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

Cool story. If he doesn’t say “this is a problem for me,” out loud, he’s an AH.

Yeah, I’m sure he never mentioned it 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

Such talent. There are whole fanfic forums for you to post your projections…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Agreed. How many women post here about their awful husbands and the universal reaction is “ugh that’s so unattractive.” Being a disengaged and entitled ahole but wanting to use your wife’s holes is NOT attractive.

And sorry, unless a man is moviestar-level hot, his mere existence does not make his wife 💦.

He’s literally pulling a younger piece.

Cope harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marital bullying and marital rape is a legal thing…

Marital…bullying?

Seek help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope your friend is planning to be smart about protecting her kids’ interests. Her ex will now be focused on his new family.

Oh, this! I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

[Anonymous]

It happens a lot. I really think society needs to act more harshly to the younger woman as well as the main.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

Cool story. If he doesn’t say “this is a problem for me,” out loud, he’s an AH.

Are you serious? Or just clueless? He has no right to have an expectation of having sex with his wife. If he dates to bring it up, he's a misogynistic patriarchal abuser, trying to violate her rights and coerce her.

Yes, you’re right. There’s no middle ground between some poor, poor man suffering in silence – practically forced to screw his colleague – and threats of marital rape.

She has every right not to want sex. He has every right to want it. But if there are no discussions about the state of a marriage, what’s the point in being married? Oh, right. He just leaves and everyone blames the woman.

Even more cray cray from you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

So the marriage was already dead, and he just put the nail in the coffin.

NBD.

Who dates losers like this? Crappy partner, crappy parent, crappy homeowner, crappy communicator, crappy adulterer?
She must be really hard up or see some huge money signs. Will be a spectacular show for the kids to watch play out.

[Anonymous]

Ehh, failures like this try to prove themselves again? But inevitably fail again. Oh well.
Good riddance.

[Anonymous]

The affair partner probably sees exactly the same thing that the blind sided friend saw when they first got together years ago. The difference is the new girlfriend doesn't take him and all he brings to the table completely for granted.

But if the husband is truly an evil screaming lunatic who is so horrible his wife can't bear to have sex with him, she should now be thanking him for pulling the plug on a dead marriage, which she didn't have the courage to do herself.

Not having sex with your husband for whatever reason and making that a permanent thing means the marriage as a romantic relationship is dead for all intents and purposes.

If the guy just told her he was unhappy because she is too clueless to realize that sex is very important, she would remain in denial and claim to not understand. This way she has no choice but to wake up.

Against she should be happy he's divorcing her. Now she will be free to find a much better man or no man at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The affair partner probably sees exactly the same thing that the blind sided friend saw when they first got together years ago. The difference is the new girlfriend doesn't take him and all he brings to the table completely for granted.

But if the husband is truly an evil screaming lunatic who is so horrible his wife can't bear to have sex with him, she should now be thanking him for pulling the plug on a dead marriage, which she didn't have the courage to do herself.

Not having sex with your husband for whatever reason and making that a permanent thing means the marriage as a romantic relationship is dead for all intents and purposes.

If the guy just told her he was unhappy because she is too clueless to realize that sex is very important, she would remain in denial and claim to not understand. This way she has no choice but to wake up.

Against she should be happy he's divorcing her. Now she will be free to find a much better man or no man at all.

LOL! Cheating ex found this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

Yeah, when the relationship is that far gone, the divorce is win/win.