Blindsided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

. Was your ex a closeted gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

. Was your ex a closeted gay?

tbh I wondered once in a while but he did leave to be with a woman. He has deep, deep issues with shame and rage. We were both raised Catholic but he was raised by Bible thumpers and a mom who prayed all the time. My Catholic upbringing was very different - it was more cultural and my parents (and my Catholic schools) never presented the idea of a vengeful God. So who knows. Homeboy ought to do some work on himself to examine the roots of his rage but he won't. To make a short story long, I think he is so repressed that he would never be able to open that closet door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give that man a break.
He fell in love with a colleague. He doesn’t love his wife anymore.
You don’t control who you fall in love with. What should he do? Ignore his feelings and live a miserable life with someone he no longer loves?
He made the right decision for both of them. I bet that she doesn’t love him either.

Then don't have kids to start with.

The children will be okay. Divorce today is not the same as it was 50 years ago. People have figured out how to handle it. Half of all marriages end in divorce, which means that half of the population has parents who are divorced or grew up in single-parent households. This is now the norm. Deal with it. Don't cry. Life goes on.

My kids have friends who are divorced and they hate their stepparents and stepsiblings, hate having to switch houses, hate that their parents always have someone else (new spouse) with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts. Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Are you new here? This exact scenario is posted on here all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

Same. Plus I realized he was a deadweight in the bedroom just like he was with the home, kids and me. It was quite eye opening, how I was everything to everyone but when kid demands popped up, he disappeared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts. Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Are you new here? This exact scenario is posted on here all the time.

That's simply an example of selection bias

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

There are literally constantly posts here in various threads by women in their 40s and 50s who have lost interest in sex entirely, yet don't see it as a problem at all-- in fact it's their absolute right not only to not have marital sex but to be outraged that their husbands feel differently about it. Op sounds like one of them.

I realized post-separation that I had not lost interest in sex at all. Just sex with the ex. And fwiw in our sexless marriage my ex never once addressed it or asked for sex. I certainly wasn't interested in him so was happy to not address it if he wasn't going to address it. How does that fit the narrative of some of you that it's always the woman's fault when there were actually two people who didn't want to have sex with each other?....

Same. Plus I realized he was a deadweight in the bedroom just like he was with the home, kids and me. It was quite eye opening, how I was everything to everyone but when kid demands popped up, he disappeared.

No one's buying this rewrite of relationship history either except other fiction writers. The bottom line is you got what you wanted out oh your spouse and the marriage and took off your mask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

They were still having sex (at least some were - I am not equally close to all). From the women’s perspective it all seemed pretty normal until the day it didn’t. From my own experience infidelity in marriage can happen even when the marriage has good regular sex. It’s no protection. (Sex is good of course but people leave for all kinds of reasons).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

A man who takes off for a decades-younger woman hasn’t been raring to f*ck his similar-aged wife no matter what fiction you like to write. He wants younger, tighter, hotter.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t want family life or responsibilities.

He just wants to work and date childless women.

Just be honest about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

More like unresolved conflict.

Wonder who didn’t want to resolve the underlying conflict(s)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

They were still having sex (at least some were - I am not equally close to all). From the women’s perspective it all seemed pretty normal until the day it didn’t. From my own experience infidelity in marriage can happen even when the marriage has good regular sex. It’s no protection. (Sex is good of course but people leave for all kinds of reasons).

Yes but this thread was talking about sexless marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how some clown keeps harping that the issue is lack of sex yet never admits that’s driven by broken trust, reliability and respect.

It’s like saying you are shocked you have a cavity yet constantly eat krap and don’t brush your teeth. Is the real issue the cavity or your bad habits?

Delulu.

And never addresses the role that communication plays in all of it. If a spouse is unhappy, they need to say so. Don’t assume the other person is a mind reader, however obvious it might be. Have a serious sit-down discussion before the resentment builds to the point of no return. Before one party has already fully checked out. It doesn’t mean divorce isn’t 100% going to be prevent, but it will prevent the other feeling blindsided if it actually comes to that.

Oh, can’t/don’t wanna have a discussion with your spouse? See above post.

Don’t try to twist the characters.

H: we need to have sex
W: I’m not feeling it, you have anger outbursts too much and don’t pull your weight in the house.
H: so what, we need to have sex’s we’re married.
W: I’m exhausted and hurt you aren’t engaged with the family or me or the house.
H: what? Look you left your shoes out! Right there you hypocrite! We need to have sex’s, it’s gods way.
W: again, I don’t feel safe or attached to you when you’re a never around or involved in our lives.
H: I work extremely hard for this family. I do it all for this family! I’m going to make a lot of ic one this year. You’re wrong.

(Walks off to fondle his iPhone)

Rinse and repeat.

A woman's lack of sexual desire is not driven by the man not doing chores nor by the man having angry outbursts.

Plenty of couples fight but then have hot make up sex. Plenty of woman have sex with their husbands and enjoy it even if he doesn't split the household chores 50/50.

Yes it is.

Explosive ManChild is not attractive. Nor marriage or parenting material.

Right so Ops friend was not blind sided then.

R u still trying to pretend it’s the wife’s fault the guy was a deadweight, then a cheater, and then left his family?

Sheesh, hope you don’t have daughters or sons.

no just pointing out that ops friend couldn't possibly have been blind sided she already knew she was in a bad marriage

DP, and first time commenting:

I bet she thought they had settled into a groove and were happy enough.

I bet she thought he was a good guy who was too decent to cheat…and perhaps assumed he was too busy and too smart to screw around and risk blowing up their family.

Regardless, it’s plausible she was blindsided. Anyone would be.

Nah, she knew it was bad. She’d have to be oblivious not to know. The kids knew, too. A zombie, roommate marriage. She might have waited a few more years, but this was always going to end in divorce. Maybe she’s surprised he pulled the trigger, but no way she was surprised, much less blindsided.

I have heard way too many stories in recent years of this exact thing happening and the wife being completely blindsided to believe that. I think sometimes it does happen out of the blue and that’s very hard because it’s such a betrayal of trust. These men are often not-great communicators and/or impulsive types.

If they have stopped having sex on a regular basis then that's willful blindness. I'm puzzled as to why people who decide that they aren't interested in marital sex any longer believe that their spouse should tolerate a sexless marriage

A man who takes off for a decades-younger woman hasn’t been raring to f*ck his similar-aged wife no matter what fiction you like to write. He wants younger, tighter, hotter.

. Do you meant to say the wife stopped having sex because she knew he wanted to have sex with someone younger? That was thoughtful of her